i'm a 17 yr old girl. i went on a holiday with my friends to france last month. there i met a guy who's a few yrs older. it wasn't love or anything...i was kinda attracted to him and was in a mood to explore my sexuality. we guys were staying at the same hotel and got friendly and i had sex with him a couple of times. now i'm back home and don't have any chance of meeting the guy again...neither do i want to. but i discovered today that i'm pregnant. what do i do? my parents would be very disappointed. this guy was my first. i'm aghast that the 'morning-after' could fail to protect me. i'm a straight A student. this child is gonna ruin everything is i'm to have him. what do i do? how do i tell my parents? please help me...i'm in a soup. please please please tell me what to do...
2007-07-01 00:51:22 · 19 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Adolescent
All I can say to you is grow up!!!! You have to take responsibilities for your actions and be an adult about this. You didn't need anyone advise on exploring your sexuality so why do you want advise now. Tell your folks what you did and get to a doctor. That's all you can do at this point.
2007-07-01 01:31:29 · answer #1 · answered by CeeCee19 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Okay, this is a tough question. First, do any of your friends know this or the guy (if they have contacts??) I would tell your parents. Its going to be hard, but just do it. Be blunt. Say "Mum, Dad... you know how I went on that holiday last month?? Well I'm sorry, but I got pregnant and I don't have any communication with the guy." Keep the baby, and don't let this ruin our life. How did you become a straight A student.? You worked hard right?? Well work hard for your future. You know that you can do this, and I bet your parents (even if they are disappointed) will support you through all of it.
Good luck!!
2007-07-01 00:59:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
Planned Parenthood is an option, as others have mentioned. An alternative would be a pregnancy resource center. They don't offer as many services as PP, but they're free. And like PP, they'll go over all your options with you and won't judge you for getting into this situation. Definitely go sooner rather than later because health care during pregnancy is very important.
Whether you decide to give birth or have an abortion, you will need to talk to your parents. Birth because, well, they'll notice, and abortion because there are parental consent laws for surgeries like that. Just in seeing my friends and people on YA in similar situations, I have found that having a child doesn't "ruin lives," and that a good network of emotional support is helpful, but it's normal to freak out. Often, telling parents is the hardest part of the pregnancy- but I know that you are strong enough to get through it.
PLEASE do not make any decisions in a state of panic! Those usually turn out to be regretable choices.
You can email me any time. I'm keeping you in my thoughts. Good luck!
<3 Kelsey
2007-07-01 04:31:58 · answer #3 · answered by Kelsey H 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately, this happens too many times, and to the ones that seem to have their lives in order (great student, happy home, etc.) I know it may be a scary situation, but depending on your family, you may have choices. Here are a few scenario based ones I would suggest:
If you decide to keep it, tell them right away. Only you know more or less how they will react to the news. If they are supportive, then it will be a breeze. If not, in time they will accept it. All you will have to decide is whether to keep it or look for a good family to adopt it once born. I've heard a few stories where girls like you go this route because of their beliefs and stand against abortion. I personally applaud this option if you feel that you would be incapable of caring for and supporting a child at your tender age.
Option 2 would be to look for a Planned Parenthood or similar program around your way. They offer countless resources and can help in finding you a doctor that can offer advice based on your situation- even if you have chosen to abort the pregnancy. You really have to do your homework if you decide to abort (who is the doctor, where will the procedure take place, etc) and not feel desperate or rushed into this decision. THEY WILL BE OPERATING ON YOU. So you need to take care of yourself since, most likely, your parents won't be there (because you didn't tell them about your situation.)
Either way, you're old enough to know right from wrong. The choice you make regarding this can change your life forever... but it's just that: YOUR CHOICE. Be wise about any decision you make- because as scary as it may be, you are creating another life right now.
Let me know what you've decided. I'll be keeping you in my prayers. Good luck either way!
2007-07-01 01:16:44 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
you've asked this 4 times....anyway. Is there anyway you can get hold of the guy? Did he give you his number? Try ringing the hotel and seeing if you can get it from them. I think it is your responsibility to tell the guy that he got you pregnant even if you never want to see him again. If you didn't use a condom then you shouldn't be surprised you are pregnant even if you took the pill, it is only about 77% effective I think...something like that at least. This child may not ruin your life, you just have to take the right moves as soon as possible. You have to tell your parents. They may be mad on the inside, but they will keep their emotions inside for the time being and help you first. If the guy lived near you then that would be easier, but he could be from a different country altogether! Where did he come from? Did he say anything about himself? You have to try and tell him. But first, tell your parents and sort yourself out.
2007-07-01 01:07:33 · answer #5 · answered by Kaidra 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I guess you have to tell your parents. i mean there is nothing else you could really do. of course abortion is a choice (i hope you dont do that) & of course you could put your child up for adoption. but it is going to be a long tough road.
just say to your parents, "Mom, Dad, i know your going to be disappointed but when i went to france last night, i met a guy, and well one thing led to another and im pregnant."
or you could go to a planned parenthood and they will help you sort all of your problems out. im sure you are a responsible girl. and you are 17 so this was better than having it happend to you when you where like 12, like some people on this forum.
gooodddd luuck!
2007-07-01 01:30:18 · answer #6 · answered by niknikx3 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Well, there is no easy way to tell your parents. You'll just have to sit down with them and break the news. You should also get tested for diseases, you're actually lucky if the only thing you get out of this is a pregnancy! It's okay to explore your sexuality, but it should never be with a stranger, and it should never be done without a condom. Good luck to you, I hope you figure it all out and that your parents support you.
2007-07-01 01:05:39 · answer #7 · answered by nimo22 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You're not going to like what I have to say but its my opinion...first of all, you said you were "kinda attracted" to him. It was your FIRST time? Why would you have sex with a guy just because you were kinda attracted to him and didnt even know him? okay, thats enough lecture, whats done is done and you cant change it..but now you have to take responsibility for your actions. You say a child is going to ruin your life....guess you shouldve thought about that before you had sex. I would tell your parents and see what happens from there. If you cant raise a child, then you can give it up for adoption to a family that has been trying to having a chid but cant. Good luck to you
2007-07-01 01:31:51 · answer #8 · answered by tulips♥77 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
The first thing you need to do is tell your parents. You know that. I know it seems like an impossible thing to do, but once you get it out there, discussing this with them will be easier then you imagined. Your parents aren't going to be shocked by the fact that you had sex. They were 17 once, and probably did a lot worse things. They will understand that the most important thing is going to be helping you, not being angry. Also, they will help protect you from this happening again with the use of birth control. As far as what to do from there, a lot of it depends on your thoughts about religion and ethics versus common practical, and logical thinking. You are wrong about one thing. This baby will ruin your YOUTH...not your LIFE. I you keep it, you might not be able to provide the baby with the essential things it needs for an adequate childhood, in essence ruining TWO youths. If you abort, you will be saving yourself, and your family years of trouble and hardship. Of course, in the end it is always your decision. It is YOUR decision, not your parents, and don't let them convince you otherwise. Let me know how it turns out.
2007-07-01 01:04:49 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
You need to talk to a councillor as soon as possible to explore your options. Try at school. In New Zealand, school councillors keep all chats with students confidential.
You also need to stop worrying. This can affect the baby, get some adult help. I would say talk to your parents also if possible. Parents can suprise you. You need support sweet hart.
Good luck dear!
2007-07-01 00:58:19 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋