20, never dated, feel like I never will, why???

Question

Hi,
I am a 20 yr old college student who has never been in any kind of relationship. Nobody has ever really been interested in me and at this point I am wondering why? I am not unattractive, i am slightly overweight and I think that's where the problem lies, but then again it might be because i'm surrounded by size 4's at school (i'm 10). Guys see a thin girl standing next to me and natrually approach her and not me. But I want to know why I am 20 and have NEVER had a guy approach me to even say "hi, i'm remotely interested". It's really starting to get to me and I even tell my friends that I have been in a relationship just to not let them see how unwanted I am.
I know the usual answer is, yeah a guy will come, or like yourself first and then others will folllow but if that's the case why is it that i'm one of a very tiny percentage, doesn't that mean that the problem is within me? And why is it such a taboo to be 20 and not have had anything before?

Answer 1

I am not going to give you the love yourself answer, and hopefully you won't think this answer is too lame either. First off, I am a size 10 (which is not overweight, its actually less than normal) and there are many guys not looking for a size 4. Some men like a little curve. You need to put yourself out there. Go to places you normally would not go. Let a friend fix you up on a date. It may seem corny or lame but what you are dong now isn't helping you to meet new men, so try something new. Don't be afraid to let a guy know when you are interested. I had the same social circle of friends for three years and never had a real date. The minute I put myself out there to meet new ppl, I found my husband. Join a new club, anything, Mr. Right is out there, you have to put yourself in the position to find him! I also don't think 20 is crazy not to have had a relationship, I did not have a real one until I was 22, when I met my husband. You are a normal, self-sufficient woman, and if you want to meet someone, you will. Just get out there and see what happens.

Answer 2

Seriously, what's flawed with this global? Does each person must have like a minimum of 10 enthusiasts by the point they are 20 to be a "winner"? Personally, I do not consider there may be some thing flawed with you. I do not see you as pathetic or a loser in any respect. I'm unmarried, too. Have certainly not even had a boyfriend earlier than, and but, I think flawlessly satisfactory. You're unmarried, experience that! And approximately the woman, you can uncover her. I recognize you consider it is a cliche, however I'm certain you are no longer gonna turn out to be by myself. There are hundreds of thousands of women available in the market. Just do not rush matters. Again, cliche, however that is the way in which it's!

Answer 3

Hi, being a size 10 isn't overweight. Of course it may seem like it when you're around other people who are size 2, 3, 4, 5, all the time. Plus that's what T.V. and Hollywood puts into everyones head, that you have to be skinny, or you don't look good. And that's what most guys get into their heads, so they only like skinny women. Appeareance isn't everything, it's what's in your heart that counts, and how you treat people.
I would say to, get some new friends to hang around with, start finding some different places to hang around at, then maybe soon, you will meet someone. hope this helps.

Answer 4

Society unfortunately imposes a view like that.
The teenage/young adult years are the times when one is deemed to be in their prime time for relationships and love. Not that you are whipped by what the world says, but it's kind of implied that not having success in relationships at that time is a bad thing. Most people in their 20s have not only had at least some relationships, but in some cases: Sex.
It's a common view. We aren't all sex fiends, but the loss of virginity isn't exactly viewed as a sin to most of the crowd of that age (I don't view it as bad by the way). Some hold it like a badge of honor.
Your ending is correct :p: This feeling should not define you. You are in college, and I'm sure you are successful in many things. Your life is not defined by that one fact, so while you don't have to completely disregard relationships, know that you have a lot of things on your plate, and that's just one thing.

As for the weight thing- Same concept of what I said above: That does not define you. Society unfortunately deems larger women unattractive in all cases, but I'm sure with time you'll find a guy like me (I prefer larger women of varying degrees ^_^). I'll be 20 in August. Go Figure... :p
A size 10 shouldn't be a major thing overtime. Not that you will avoid bigotry, but I think you'll find someone with time (I repeated what you said... S*** :P)

Weight preferences is unfortunately something that in most cases is more of a way of living/the world around us concept than genetics. I myself wasn't born liking larger women, but I rose from the concept of not hating larger people at all (Size/Fat Acceptance: A concept I hope a lot more people learn), and my preference (Which was orignally an attempt at being neutral [Virtually I don't mind what size a woman is, but I still prefer larger women] that didn't work :p) was a sort of upgrade of that. Some people don't learn to either not mind it, to not hate it, or the concept of actually liking it (It's amazing what one can do when society doesn't dictate what they find desirable).

A somewhat gist here:
Your weight doesn't define who you are.
(Not Included above) Confidence will give some help here as well. Smile at the thought that you are getting a higher education, your living, et cetera... I'm not saying you aren't confident, but confidence is never a bad thing in moderate amounts.
Your lack of dating ability also doesn't define who you are.
You have much more to life than this, but you can keep it on your mind in the long run.
The world around us has some validity in why you feel this way.
Good luck finding someone special, and good luck sailing through college.

Answer 5

Hi dear, if it makes you feel better, I never dated till I was like, 29!!! But then again, I was never interested in developing a relationship with the opposite sex since I think it is better to just aim to get married. But now you are in this situation, I say get some dancing going in your room by watching YouTube and following the routine. Also do easy exercises on your own at least 30 minutes a day.

Answer 6

i think confidence is everything... once u are comfortable in ur own skin, it will radiate to everyone around u., no matter what ur size. ... i've been petite all my life and only truly began dating around the age of 20.. so ur time will come soon enough. another important part to the dating scene is actually being in the scene, hang out where all the guys are; chat them up a bit. it'll be so simple after that. good luck!