My daughter just had a baby girl, her 1st was a boy, he's almost 3. I'd like to go over n see the baby every day but her husband's home for 2 wks helping her. On one hand I feel that I'd be intruding. On the other, I feel she might think I don't care about the baby & my grandson. She n I don't have a very close relationship, I was out of town a lot in the past 10 yrs n she's a passive person who never wants to hurt feelings so I haven't just asked her. I'd like to get some ideas from u 1st. Thx
2007-06-30 22:25:07 · 24 answers · asked by tink 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I think it would be a good idea to call your daughter and ask her how she would feel about you coming over for a little bit. If she doesn't feel up to it right at this moment, maybe she will welcome the idea more when her husband returns to work.
You may want to start off with short visits to allow each person involved to warm up slowly to this relationship. Your daughter is already having to deal with a lot of changes in her life so anything that you could do to ease that would be a tremendous help.
I don't think it would be a good idea to just show up unannounced...I know you are her mother, but I am sure she would appreciate the courtesy of knowing in advance.
As the two of you begin again, I think it would be a good idea to share with her about your sadness/guilt over having missed so much over the last 10 yrs. She may or may not believe the words you say; however, in time if you stay consistent and can really be there...she will surely come around.
Good luck and congratulations!!!
2007-06-30 22:39:01 · answer #1 · answered by awesomewoman 2 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Parents like the time alone with their family the first few weeks without a lot of interruptions.IMO. Call and ask if you could take your grandson for an afternoon. That way you could go over and pick him up and see the baby for a few minutes. She might need you to keep an eye on her for a few minutes while she showers of something! Just give her a call every couple days to see how things are going and she might need you for something.
2007-07-01 01:02:43 · answer #2 · answered by justme 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I'd have been incredibly glad to have my Mom around when I first had my baby!! Although husbands can be great, they rarely see things like the washing and ironing piling up, so maybe offer to help with things like that.
Why not just drop by and say I'm not stopping long, just thought I would all and see how you all are and if there's anything I can do.
Good luck - you sound like a lovely mom who doesn't want to intrude.
2007-06-30 22:29:46 · answer #3 · answered by Sal*UK 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
Being a Mom of 3 myself. Oldest son 5, daughter 2, and new baby boy 3 months old. Even though my husband was home after I gave birth, I would've loved my Mom or anyone else for that matter to come help me with the kids. Everyone stayed away because they knew my husband was home, but in reality he didn't help much and after having c-sections with each of my 3 children, it was hard for me to move around. He thought that the babies needed/ wanted mommy so he just "hung around".
My suggestion is to ask your daughter if it would be OK for you to help her and her husband out. and let her know that you would love to visit with them and your grandchildren. I'm sure she would be more than happy to have your help.
I hope this helps. Good luck!
2007-07-01 05:05:25 · answer #4 · answered by Angela L 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Tough call really. If it were me I would just make sure that I was emailing regularly... that way they can check it at their leisure, but don't have to worry about a phone or doorbell waking the babies! Once dad goes back to work, then you can show up with a nice gift [can you say latte?] for mom and maybe a little something for the babies, and ask her how things went... she'll appreciate an ear to bend.. and the caffiene [unless she's nursing!]
Hope that helps
2007-06-30 22:31:07 · answer #5 · answered by Happy D 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just phone her let her know that you are thinking about her, and let her know that when her husband has returned to work, you would like to drop by and see how she is doing. Explain that you aren't coming over yet because you realise that these early weeks are important for her family to all bond with the new baby.
This could definately improve the relationship, but don't try to make up for all that time of being apart by constantly being with her.
Be there to offer support and help, don't give advice unless she asks for it, and enjoy your new grandchild.
2007-07-01 00:56:59 · answer #6 · answered by ♥Pamela♥ 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have two children and when my little girl was born I would have really loved for someone to take my 3 year old son off of my hands for a few hours a day. Even with the husband home to help.
I would start with offering to take the older child for a few hours and then add a little more as your relationship with your daugher and her family gets closer.
2007-06-30 22:38:13 · answer #7 · answered by mrslet02 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it you're not close it may be hard on her for the first few weeks. she may feel she has to entertain and thats the last thing a women wants to do with a newborn. just ask when a good time is to come over. even if that has to be a few weeks. and offer your help. offer to cook a dinner at their place and clean up afterwards that way you can spend time with them. and if she is not entirely breastfeeding offer to stay over a night for the feedings so they can catch up on some sleep. my grandmother did this when she stayed over the night at it was the most helpful thing anybody has done for me so far. and since your daughter has a 3 yr old it may be even more helpful for her.
2007-06-30 22:34:54 · answer #8 · answered by LaRae L 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Call her.Ask if you could go over and see the kids. Offer to take the 3 year old out for a little while so she does not have to run around him and that could be a start.
2007-07-01 02:03:23 · answer #9 · answered by Bones 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Phone her up - tell her you'd love to come and see the baby and your grandchild. Tell her you're very excited and are so thrilled for her and her family.
And then ask her if you can see the baby at a time that is convenient.
That way, you've covered all options.
Good luck.
2007-06-30 23:39:59 · answer #10 · answered by True Blue Brit 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋