several months ago i relocated to another city to be closer to someone with the hope of becoming an item.I postponed my hopes and dreams hoping this person would be my backbone. all that i need to face the world. to run to when the world turned cold.I instead found that he had hopes and plans with several others whom he visted on week and weekend trip's to in other parts of the states.i fell in pieces and i started to worry about my health and my mindstate. i also feared that love was a mirage for me. how do i then thrust myself in the loving arms of religion and a new start with this past and feeling's looming over my shoulders like unsettled dust.
2007-06-30 17:05:13 · 8 answers · asked by stilesking 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
You have a number of good replies, all of which tell you to move on, get over it, forget the loser, etc. Besides doing all those things, you need to do some soul searching, because looking at 'why' you moved to be closer to him it is clear that you need to really look at what you expect from a relationship, any relationship. Do you really look for someone to be your "backbone"? I understand that you want someone you can trust, someone who will support you, but you also have to understand that the other person in your life needs the same thing, and if he "was" a good guy (which it sounds like he is NOT), he would hope that you would not be a burden, or a needful person...or he'd probably dump you.
If you had said that you changed your lifestyle, your job location, etc., because he asked you to move closer to him, because his job paid better, etc., or because he had to be closer to this or that (and it was significant and you agreed), then I might see your situation differently. However, what I saw was someone who supposedly dropped a good job in a place they felt comfortable in order to be with someone who may or may not have even wanted them to move closer, so that this person could serve as your crutch. Bad idea. You need to realize that although you want to be "with" someone, you could live quite well on your own. Men, and women, want to feel needed, but don't want to feel like they are a necessity.
Stop seeing the loser, move to where you are the most comfortable or can find the best job, and get some self-confidence...be religious, but no more so than before or you'll replace one crutch for another...once you have that, the men will come to you!
2007-07-08 15:13:21 · answer #1 · answered by Kevin S 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I also planned to relocate to be with someone and postponed my hopes and dreams of being with this person for a lifetime. He was the one I turned to for advice and comfort. He had may back when I had problems with some family members. I'm still going to relocate, but I'm making this move for myself and haven't mentioned anything about it to him. Our stores are about the same. I found out he's been with other women, but he says it's nothing serious. I don't buy that because if I can sustain until the weekend I felt like he would do the same thing. I feel like I'll be the rebound chick because I refuse to be mistreated and ran over. Love is scary at times. I'm hurt and disappointed. He won't return my phone calls so I stopped calling. He actually cried when I insisted that he tell me the truth. I fell to pieces and I have to make myself go on. Don't hold in your tears. Grief only last for a little while and whatever you do, don't turn to another relationship for comfort. I constantly think about him and I cry. What will help is to think about the hurt and mess you would've been in. That would've been much worse.
2007-07-08 16:55:17 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are in love with a consumer and sure, it is going to harm plenty however it is greater to move by way of the harm now even as you're younger. The agony will depart with time. He's been utilising you for cash and tons of different stuff too. Even if he needs to get again in combination, why could you wish to spend the relaxation of your lifestyles with a egocentric guy? And egocentric guys usually are abusive. You are more potent than you provide your self credit score for. If you had been capable to paintings 2 jobs, you'll be able to make it for your possess. Give your self time earlier than leaping into yet another dating. Work by way of the grief of this one first and recognition on your self and your schooling for awhile. There is lots of time and no rush to make fast selections now. You will in no way be capable to believe him besides. Did he lie approximately different matters too? I guess he did. Good success. Take time for your self and cling in there. You will feel good about time. Try counseling if you'll be able to or talk to a relied on grownup or clergyman. Contact an lawyer approximately the coincidence and preserve a diary of your aches and pains and surgeon's visits and medicines.
2016-09-05 11:21:11 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to make a choice. Either you keep letting a guy be the center of your decisions. Or you can live your own life, do what you want to do for YOU, not for someone else. If you get involved in your religion, it will help you to get over your past and press on towards the future. However, it takes time to heal from you past.
2007-07-08 11:55:53 · answer #4 · answered by loveangel22 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How do you? You just do it because you have no choice! It's either stand or fall! You have that choice. Choose to stand. Your first mistake was putting your all into a human being. We are all sinners. We are deceitful. None of us are worthy. Never put that much trust and faith into anyone except God. And that's who you need right now; God. He is the only one that can make your pieces whole again. It won't be easy. It require you to take all of that love, trust and faith you put into him and put into God. If you do this, you won't fail!
2007-06-30 17:10:57 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
just realize he is a total loser and you are so much better off now then to be with a loser like that...you just have to trust in the man upstairs...and even though we don't necessarily understand the reasons we go through this...but eventually you will look back and laugh...and maybe have a clearer understanding of His purpose in your life...you will make it you just have to believe
2007-07-08 11:15:48 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a super funn hobby
2007-07-08 15:15:22 · answer #7 · answered by cutiez 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is no how, you just do it. Unless you die, you keep on living.
2007-07-07 09:12:27 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋