My parents are having some friends over tomorrow. I am currently living with them. I am divorced and my child lives in another state with her Dad.
One of the ladies that is coming over is about my age. She is married and is coming with her husband and two children.
She always makes me feel bad because she has a complete family and I don't. She does this through her body language and comments.
How should I handle this?
The only things that I can think of are ignoring her or focusing on helping my Mom serve the food, etc and the other other guests.
I don't know what else to do? I want to be able to tolerate her without being rude myself.
2007-06-30 16:43:25 · 12 answers · asked by Stareyes 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
Killing others with kindness sometimes backfires BUT so do snotty remarks.So, put up that protective barrier around yourself, be gracious and attentive. When given direct questions you could respond with I would rather not discuss it- this closes a subject IMMEDIATELY.REMEMBER you are in control so therefor there is NO reason to be rude. Your Home, Your in Control, You are Gracious without being walked on. Try on to pay to much attention to the body language- it appears it is giving you signals. Ignore them. Enjoy the other guests, help your mother, be the perfect hostess, and enjoy your social time.
2007-07-01 01:38:48 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
As long as it's a large dinner party, you will in fact have a lot of guests to look after, so do your duty by her as far as courtesy requires and then find other people at the dinner party to talk to. You aren't the official hostess so you aren't required to keep her entertained.
If she corners you, don't let her get under your skin. Slide out of it as soon as you plausibly can with "I have to help mom with . . . " Or introduce her to someone whom you think will keep her engaged in conversation and then excuse yourself.
You might make a seating arrangement and have people sit at assigned places with place cards --- and don't put her next to you!
But is it really she who makes you feel bad, or do you just feel bad being around her because your situations are so different? Most of the time people aren't aiming things at you personally, so it's important not to take things personally. She like anyone else will talk about her family, and as it happens her family lives at her house --- this has nothing to do with you or your own situation. Start with the assumption that she is not out to "get" you and see how it goes. She may feel shy because she knows you are apart from your child and ex and having a hard time --- people don't always know how to respond, especially if you are not close friends.
2007-07-01 12:24:46 · answer #2 · answered by Parrot Eyes 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Show her that you are not going to play her game.And why should you ? Greet her as pleasantly as possible and her family .You do not have to gush all over but a cheery ,"Hello ! How have you been"?will do the trick.Keep yourself busy making the other folks comfortable...help you mother with the food and servings.Be up beat and engage the other guest in conversations.When it is time for them to leave say how nice it was that they were able to visit. If you are a smart lady (and I'm betting that you are) you won't play her game !
2007-07-01 00:02:50 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
I have to deal with this all the time. My grandmother is an impossible person to deal with. I basically grin and bear it. Like someone else said, kill her with kindness. But try not to be fake, because others will be able to see through it. Just get through the day and be the best possible hostess you can be.
2007-07-01 00:23:24 · answer #4 · answered by Carrie S 3 · 1⤊ 1⤋
I would just ignore it. Helping you mom is a good idea. I've sat at many tables for holidays where there was someone I didn't like. At times, if it was bad enough, I excused myself and left. If it is bad enough, fake not feeling well and go to your room.
2007-06-30 23:48:04 · answer #5 · answered by amyaz_98 5 · 4⤊ 1⤋
Be a kind and gracious hostess. Speak to her minimally - but enough so she's not totally ignored.
2007-07-01 00:30:47 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Keep yourself busy, helping out & ignore the guest (s) who make you feel uncomfy.
2007-06-30 23:48:57 · answer #7 · answered by Shortstuff13 7 · 4⤊ 1⤋
just think that happy people are never bitchy. She's probably not happy about her marriage that's why she has to show off.
you've been through it once and you knew darn well how bad it could be.
Just be straigh forward. you cant please everyone .
2007-07-01 00:43:17 · answer #8 · answered by prince charming 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If your mother needs you to be there to help then stay and help, but if she doesn't need you there find something else to do.
2007-06-30 23:58:37 · answer #9 · answered by DeborahDel 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Kill her with kindness. When she realizes that her comments are having no effect on you and instead you continue to be nice to her, she might feel ashamed at how ignorant she has been.
2007-06-30 23:46:57 · answer #10 · answered by Keep on Truckin' 4 · 5⤊ 2⤋