I have a serious question...?

Question

I don't want to sound conceited or anything, but I have been told that I am really beautiful because I have a really nice figure. I take after my dad's side of the family. Anyway... my sister is a bit older than me , and she is really pretty, but she takes after my moms side of the family so she is a bit overweight. She tries so hard to wear clothes that make her look sexy, but really they just make her emphasize her weight, and I try to tell her what looks good, and what doesn't.. but she doesn't take my advice.

She and my mom both are trying to lose weight, but since obesity is in their blood it's very hard for them. Sometimes I get the feeling that they are jealous that I am skinny because of the way they look at me. It makes me feel really bad... to the point where I wish I could gain a lot of weight.. and sometimes it makes me really depressed.
I am also the only one in my family who has ever attended college... and I am really happy about the way my life is going.. but ...

it's the same thing.. I get the feeling that they get jealous of me because they didn't go and I am.. and it makes me feel really bad.. almost to the point where I want to drop out!

Why do I feel like this? What can I do to make myself feel better... and what can I do to make my family feel better about themselves! They always look at me all weird when I talk about school.. or if I walk around in my bathing suit at the beach..
I am not self absorbed.. I really don't think I am perfect or anything.. but I get the feeling like my family is mad at me because I want to be successful, and I take care of myself...
Please help!

because I ran out of room! I had to add details...

obesity does run in our family...and it DOES run through genetics.. they both eat healthy..we don't have junk food in our house...

I would really appreciate it if you weren't so mean to me. I said I have been TOLD i was.. I never said I thought I was.. My self esteem really isn't that high..and it's just a display name! there is an inside joke behind it so back off!
It's not all about me. I try so hard to help out my family! I do a lot for them.. I put a lot of time and effort into my family. but why shouldnt i want to feel better? am i not allowed to? is that really a crime?! some of you are really heartless! i need advice not nasty remarks!

Answer 1

but what?

Answer 2

I would start by changing your sn. Not a good choice even if there is a joke behind it. Second, just be there for them when they need it. If your sister asks about how she looks, then tell her in a nice way. If she doesn't ask, then don't say anything about it. You should be proud that you are attending college. Don't let their subconscious thoughts and faces get you down. I'm sure they love you, but hey they are human aren't they? If you are this depressed about it, I would talk to them in a nice non-condescending manor. When you do this put what you are saying in the form of I sentences. Like, I just feel that or I wish or I am having trouble with....... I think you should get the point.

Answer 3

I can understand your frustration because... I am the only slim sibling out of the four children that my Mother and Father had. And growing up, I used to hear it all the time... You're too skinny! And just for the hell of it... they came up with a nick name "Stick". And I never used to think anything of it until I reached high school.

The best thing for YOU to do... is let them be. Because honestly, it's not that they're jealous even though it may seem like they are. But perhaps it's just the pressure they feel from not only you, but the media and our everyday world! It's not just you that prances around with a perfect figure in their mind. But just think.. everywhere they look there's a seven head figured woman who has the PERFECT coke bottle shaped figure! On TV, on a billboard on the side of the road, at work, in magazines... and if that doesn't do it, they hear everyone talking about perfect women. And just to make them feel accepted, not necessarily better, they look or say things to bring you down. But the best thing that you can do is what you already do... give them advise, let them know what can work for them and love them for who they are. But what might also work, is encouraging them! Ask them how they're diets going... not in a provoking way because that'll make things worse. But encourage them to lose weight... help them eat healthy foods and such.

That would be the advice that I would give to you. If nothing helps or makes them happy, then you've done your part and that's the best you can do until THEY are happy with themselves.

Good luck!

Answer 4

Their is nothing wrong with you at all you are doing the best you can in life and nothing should ever stop you, yes your mom and sister are always going to wisper behind your back and team up aginst you because your figure is diffrent then theirs but don't get upset about it it's not like you chose to be that way right? You are going to college and making yourself a better person and don't let anyone make you feel bad about your furthering your education...they are jealous because they didn't go to college and they are threatened that you are going to be sucessful and have a good life...the only thing you can do is just tollerate it the best you can and don't let anything they say or do make you feel like you should change to please them...And if it gets so bad you can't take it anymore have a disscussion with your mom saying You didn't ask for this body and you thought she would be proud of you for going to college...just have patinece with them...

I hope this helps and I hope everything works out good for you... :)

-Moose

Answer 5

You can't fix anyone else. They have to do it themselves. You have no reason to feel guilty about taking care of yourself or about going to college. You should feel proud.

Your Mom and your sister have something in common. They may feel a bit jealous of you but that is something they have to figure out for themselves. Just keep being who you are. Offer help if they ask or if they seem like they're hinting around. Be supportive as much as possible by giving them compliments on things they do well. Other than that, live your life.

Don't stop doing things for yourself just because someone else doesn't have the same advantages as you. They both have other positive qualities and if you sincerely remind them of those positive qualities, hopefully they'll forget about their pre-occupation with you.

Answer 6

I am a big woman and my mother has always been very thin and petite.I never had any jealousy towards her because she was thinner.I figured out by 7 years old when I was busting out of her hand me down blue jeans that I wasn't going to be a size 0 like her.However I see your point of view.In some ways they could have some issues about their weight compared to yours subconsciously.
What you need to realize is you can't do anything about their self esteem.The fact that you are attractive and thin automatically gives you much more confidence in yourself which translates into your ability to excel.Many women who have weight issues are often critical and extremely jealous of thinner more attractive women.Let them be it's their problem not yours.You seem to have a good life don't let others psychosis destroy the good things you have happening in your life.

Answer 7

First, It's really hard to take you seriously when your Avatar says you wish you were me.
Only you can change YOUR attitude. Try putting yourself in their shoes. I don't think you truly want help. I think this is another cry for attention from someone who has a true vanity problem. Try and remember looks fade or can be taken in an instant. You never know what tomorrow will bring. Live your life outside of a mirror. Seriously try not to look at yourself at all in a mirror for one week. Do your hair, makeup etc without a mirror. You will always wonder how people see you physically, if they still think you are pretty or just saying that to make you feel better. That may help you begin to live life from the inside out and not base worth on appearance or what you do better.

Answer 8

First of all, "fat people" don't like "skinny people" telling them how to dress. Even if you have the best intentions in the world, its almost always a touchy subject. Second of all, if you feel like their "jealousy" is hurting your feelings to the point of depression, talk to them. OPENLY AND CAUTIOUSLY. You have to be smart about it. Don't say, "Hey guys, your jealousy of my sexy body hurts my feelings." See, that's doesn't work. Finally, I am the youngest of 3 girls and my oldest sister is the only one of us that is thin. She too is the only one in the family that has attended college to the point of a degree. A masters degree in fact. Am I jealous?! NO! I'm proud and happy for her. I love her. Maybe the problem isn't at all with weight issues, school issues nor jealousy issues, but with family dynamics. Perhaps its just a "bad relationship" to start with.....

Answer 9

Don't tell your sister what to wear. Jealousy is a poison to many relationships. Forgive them. Love them. Jealousy is a hard sin to give up. Be thankful for your blessings, you will have your own battles to face before long. Humans suffer. Get active. Exercise will help all of you. Dress more conservatively around your sister so she doesn't feel the need to compete. It's polite. Only if it will help you feel better.

Take care,
Jen

Answer 10

gosh people don't know how to Read your Question is right there... OK now what u should do is u should help your mom and sister along with them trying to lose weight. Courage them saying "Your doing great!" or something like "awesome job keep up the good work!" that little will take them along way...

Good luck! :)

Answer 11

Maybe your adopted. Just kidding. If your mother and sister want to lose weight it is not rocket science. If you burn more calories than you take in, you lose weight. Don't stop being the best person you can be because you want to keep the peace in your family. It's up to your sister and your mother to manage their own lives. Don't let them drag you down.