I can't just stop seeing her, but she makes me so upset my stomache ends up in knots. I want to find a way to transend her bitterness and feel calm inside, to protect myself. Any suggestions?
2007-06-30 15:43:02 · 5 answers · asked by augustus 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
TELL HER! My mom is very much like that also. I finally let her have it- told her how she makes me feel, that I will no longer tolerate her condescending attitude toward me and that I love her and do the best I can to show her. If it's not enough, it is her problem.
It was one of the hardest things I had to do and has made a better relationship. I do stop her when she starts with her comments- either tell her I am going home or get off the phone.
( The final straw was a conversation recorded on my answering machine between her and a friend of hers when she was babysitting for my kids. I played it back to her- and she got to hear the venom in her own voice and the words like knives that she used to describe her opinion of me.)
I wish you the strength to fight for a better relationship with your mom, and a belief in yourself so the butterflys leave your stomach- no matter what her opinion is!
2007-06-30 15:54:01 · answer #1 · answered by dizzkat 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Ask her. Ask her what she intends to do about her problems. Ask her how she's going to fix what's bothering her. Inform her that, because it is she who is dissatisfied, she will need to create her own solutions. This isn't about you, and you are not what she says you are. I'm sure you wish her the best of luck with her difficulties. You might suggest that you will come 'round some time when she's feeling less unhappy.
2007-06-30 15:58:28 · answer #2 · answered by Jay R 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Print this page and show it to her. If my kids came to me, and I knew they were upset enough to post this question, I would really, really think hard about my words and attitude. I'm guilty of doing this very same thing when I'm mad at the world, and my 12 year old daughter finally says something to me when she herself is in knots, and it just kills me. I really see it now when I didn't before. Your mom won't know until you help her see it.
2007-06-30 15:53:44 · answer #3 · answered by annieM16 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Just agree with her and let it go in one ear and out the other. When she gets to the part where she wants you to do something for her tell her you will have to check your schedule because since you have let her down so much in the past you are sure she will understand if you can't get to it.
2007-06-30 15:53:57 · answer #4 · answered by don n 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You all need to have a meeting with her at the same time.Tell her she is a meddling,bossy old cow and none of you are gonna let the door smack you in the butt on your way outta there.
2007-06-30 15:57:37 · answer #5 · answered by BAKKUS 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋