Do you think it is selfish when wives choose to keep their maiden name instead of taking their husband's?
2007-06-30 15:34:55 · 36 answers · asked by Soccer Maniac 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
I was just wondering. I'm still way too young to get married. Some of you might want to rethink your answers. lol
2007-06-30 15:56:17 · update #1
Personally, yes. But I recently got married and I can understand how it's sort of hard to give up the name you've had your entire life. It's like throwing away your past, but also it's like starting your new future. I was honored to take my husband's last name.
I think it should be a couple's decision too. Not just the woman's.
2007-06-30 15:39:30 · answer #1 · answered by Alicia F 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
Selfish is the wrong word. I think if a couple is planning to have children after they are married, there should be ONE family surname. A woman can always use her maiden name as her middle name, which is a good alternative a lot more women are using, instead of hyphenating, which is awkward.
Taking your husband's name doesn't mean you are giving up your individuality as a woman, nor does it impact a woman's career... I thought long and hard about what I would do, tempted to keep my maiden name, but agreed with my husband that it was best for future kids to have the same surname as both of us -- and HE offered to change his surname to mine, and was serious about it. However, I decided to take his.
2007-06-30 23:31:18 · answer #2 · answered by Lydia 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Some women keep their maiden name for professional reasons such as being established in the medical community as a doctor or other professional fields such as acting, Ceo's etc. Some women hyphenate their maiden name with their husbands, example... Susan Moore-Patterson. I hope this helps.
2007-07-03 05:28:15 · answer #3 · answered by kystarlyte_kystarlight 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it is selfish at all. There are many reasons why they do not want to give up their name.
For instance, if they are in a professional atmosphere for a while and they are known by their maiden name, it will make things awkward if she changes her last name, now she has to make her new name known whereas she is usually known for her maiden name.
2007-07-01 02:04:25 · answer #4 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, as women get married at older ages they establish themselves already professionally. To change their names will cause confusion and cause harm to them at their careers.
This is slightly different and may sound like a Seinfeld episode, but I know an accountant with an Asian last name and he gets Asian business because of it. He is not Asian.
Sometimes there is value in you last name and worth keeping it. It should be a woman's choice to change her name, and they should not be considered property of their husband.
But at the same time I might have felt insulted if my wife chose not to change her name to mine. What you feel and think are sometimes two different things.
2007-07-01 02:48:42 · answer #5 · answered by no_frills 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Selfish? Why selfish? She'd probably be fine if you decided to take her name :-) Why are you bent out of shape because she wants to keep her name?
For a lot of women, getting married and having to "lose" the name they have identified themselves by for their entire life is very difficult. It's like their identity has been lost, and, in their minds, not only lost but lost inside their husband's identity! The men who seem to be the most affronted by it are the ones who have an excessively possessive streak and feel the need to "label" what is theirs as "MINE!" with their name.
Don't notice too many men willing to change THEIR names. Even the hyphenated names, the men keep theirs, but the women hyphenate. Wonder why? ;-)
2007-06-30 15:42:57 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
No, it's not. Women do so for various reasons, especially if they are older and have careers where people know them by a particular name. It is more selfish for husbands to expect their new wives to take his last name. These days it is more common for us to keep our names. I recently remarried, and my husband took my last name.
2007-06-30 15:43:28 · answer #7 · answered by puppiegrl 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
No, it was tradition when people had large families so that the men carried on the family name and woman took the man's name...the woman who took the man's name probably had brothers to carry on her parents' name. Now, its more a tradition than anything...and if a girl is an only child, she may want to carry on her family name.
2007-06-30 16:34:21 · answer #8 · answered by its about time 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I don't think it's a matter of selfishness. It's your identity. If all your life you are known as "Jane Smith" and then get married, why all the sudden are you expected to become "Jane Married"? I'm personally not giving up my last name, because I love it and it's part of my heritage, I'm adding my finace's name to mine.
2007-06-30 16:23:58 · answer #9 · answered by dianedarcy583 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No it means they have a career in their maiden name and they don't want to lose the name recognition. Men no longer own women so women get to have whatever name they want.
2007-06-30 15:48:57 · answer #10 · answered by maigen_obx 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋