Why won't people buy off the gift registries for weddings and showers?

Question

My husband and I had two gift registries for our wedding, both very reasonable, and yet I still ended up with 18 bowls, 2 hideous vases, and various items I have no use for or that are ugly.
I just don't understand why people think they know what we need and want better than we do!

Answer 1

Some people find registries insulting and others just want to get something unique for a couple. They don't always pick something in line with the couple's actual taste but they attempt to be different.

Answer 2

Here are two very good reasons why wedding guests do not purchase items off a Bride and Groom's registry . .

#1 . . Just recently someone wrote in to Yahoo Answers about a couple's ten page bridal registry list. If I remember correctly the first NINE pages were items that the Bride wanted for her eleven year old son (video equipment, CDs, games, computer equipment and software, etc). That's not a bridal registry list, that's Christmas list!

#2 . . Last year I worked with a Bride who created a "bridal registry list" that was so unrealistic that she didn't even know what some of the items were until the "wedding coordinator" in the department store showed it to her. She spent over EIGHT hours creating her "list," and that was just in one store. She picked out a china pattern that had to be "special ordered." Just the salt and pepper shaker set was over $150 . . and surprise, surprise she did NOT receive a single piece of that very expesive china that she "registered" for. I tried to explain to her that your wedding guests will NOT buy items for you that they do not have in their own home OR that are not reflective of the couple's lifestyle. I'm sure everyone that saw this Bride's "bridal registry list" just laughed out loud at some of the items she had on her list, especially a salt and pepper shaker that cost $176. This young lady ate off of paper plates or unmatched dishes most of her life!

There are many people who absolutely, positively will NOT purchase a gift off a Bride and Groom's registry even if you drove them to the store and opened the door for them, they resent being "told" how much to spend and what to buy.

And here's another reason why you received so many "ugly" or unwanted items . . they could be "regifts" . . the person that gave them to you didn't want them either!

Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant

Answer 3

Well, I discovered that there was a large group of friends of my husband's grandmother who lived in a small town and couldn't get to a place where we registered, so they bought what they thought were BEAUTIFUL vases and decorations (think bright yellow sunflowers and 80's style)...they meant well, but they were older and didn't really follow our style. Another reason is because some couples register for their dream house when they have just graduated from college...meaning many friends are also young and have no money so no one can afford things off the registry. Another thing is that many times people at the place you are registered screw up...it happens more than you'd think. They either tell you that certain things have been purchased that haven't, or that you can buy that bowl, sure! when 200 people have already bought it...they just don't update. Sometimes its just to be different. Either way, you return what you can, you regift some if you want, and you write lovely thank you notes :)

Answer 4

When I was married 7 years ago I received junky vases, candle sticks and a thousand picture frames. I think the older generation finds a registry to be tacky. I think others are insulted at being told what to buy. Lets face it, most of them are regifted.

Answer 5

I have asked myself this same question. I think people must feel they have great taste and know what is best for you.
I also get mad when people fail to take an item off the registry list once they buy it. You end up with multiples when people do this.
And my last gripe is when you have a certain item listed on your registry, like a bedspread,and they buy a bedspread but it's completely different than the one you want.

Answer 6

Oftentimes, brides make registries their 'dream' list, so I think some guests get frustrated when they see the registry list, and don't really feel comfortable getting 'one plate' off the china registry, when it might be the only thing that fits their budget.
Gifts are 'not required' for weddings, so I think a mature couple would just graciously accept whatever someone chooses to get them. You would be amazed how handy those duplicates will be in five years, in 10 years.... as your needs and tastes change, too. It's great to have things in storage!
We didn't register for our wedding, but of course that was our choice. We felt it was dictating to our guests, and a gift-grab - not just an expression of our tastes...
Sorry you feel so hard done by....

Answer 7

Because they might not have known you had a registry or two?

If info about the registries are brought around by "word of mouth" then not everyone will know they bride and groom have a wish list of things they would like or need.

Answer 8

I completely resent being told what to buy for a gift. It seems that the bride is giving the guests an order form. It's like: "Come to my wedding and buy me one or more of the following 100 gifts."
I just can't understand brides who think they are entitled to demand that their guests purchase a gift for them that the bride has specifically chosen. It sounds both rigid and greedy.
Return those gifts or regift them.
And don't complain about receiving a gift.

Answer 9

for all of the people calling you a spoiled brat, do not listen. it takes HOURS to register and then you end up with...a wind chime..that is ORANGE!? i mean, i have gotten very nice things that were not on my registry and i was glad. but i also got something that are still in boxes one year later (i didn't even know they made sandwich toasters). I did not spend all that time registering to get..THAT! i mean, people should want to give you something you NEED you would think...but there are reasons this falls through the cracks.

now one problem is the stores themselves. MY OWN MOTHER could not get bed, bath, and beyond to find my registry. they kept asking her are you spelling her name right and she got REALLY MAD! i did notice that a lot of my gifts came from my other registry target so that could have been a problem.

another problem is people wait until the very last minute to go shopping. like they come FROM THE STORE to your shower. so if they are running late, they might not have time to go out of their way to the specific store. they stop at yankee candles and get a random candle and run and wrap it in the driveway.

then there is the losing the invite card. heavens knows i have and had to call my mom! losing those little papers that are in there(which ARE okay for bridal showers, not weddings people) happens all the time and they just think omg i will just give them this.

then there are people who are set in their ways and are going to give something like ugly brown towels or something they had lying around the house :P we do not like thems.

this happens to ALL brides (and grooms) and we all do the same thing: regift. YES I SAID IT REGIFT! This summer we gave cousins a new set of glasses, very nice, on the plain side so they can match anything. The key is to remember WHO gave you what so you will never be embarrassed.

hopefully the good out way the bad. :) I think that is why people think money is easier...but opening presents is more fun! and we have all been there, done that, and got the ugly vases so we hear ya sister!

some people (SOME RUDE PEOPLE) have gone overboard and called you bridezilla. those people are the ones who deserve ugly bowls and vases not you! :P

Answer 10

I know that I used to try and make it "unique" and personal. After getting married, I now know that the registry is there for a reason - it's because the couple wants the stuff on it.

It's not a matter of being "spoiled" or "greedy" as others have insinuated. It's not being ungrateful. It's about being practical and frustrated.

If I want to be "unique" now, I get a bottle of engraved champagne. At least I know they'll use it.

Answer 11

Were these people aware that you were even registered? Sometimes we have no way of knowing. My cousin registered at Target and she didn't have enough items on her list. Her family complained, so she went back and added more items. Well, it just so happened I ran across a tea maker that I knew she would love that was not on her list. She was estatic over it and asked her mother why on earth didn't she put it on her list