Ok. My husband mom DAWN. Left him when he was just a baby she was on drugs and supposely wanted to clean up her life. Well his dad who was workin offshore decided to put him in care of his grandparents who are his dad's parents. Well they raised him. They told my husband as a kid his mother was dead. Well me and my husband have been together for a little over 4 years now. And about 6 months after we begin dating he got a call from his mom who was supposely dead. So yes it was very shocking to the both of us. We living at the time in Mississippi. I was still in high school. Hubby had finished. We decided to drive to Gerogia. Where his mom lived and 16 year old sister lived and meet her one weekend. Meeting her she seemed prefect. My mom died when I was 12 by a drunk driver. So no real mother firgure in my life since then. Well she came into our lives and was prefect. She was sweet as could be. Explained why she did what she did when he was a baby.We kept in contact over phone after that
2007-06-30 11:40:23 · 16 answers · asked by Sondra 3 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Other - Pregnancy & Parenting
Well, keeping in contact by phone things was great. I even adopted her as my next mom. Things seemed prefect. But life has in honeymoon stage and ours was about to end. After I finished high school we moved to Metairie, Louisianna. My home town. And we started planing our wedding. Dawn, his mom still seemd fine. Then Katrina came. And we had to push the wedding back. Well, we decided this would be a great time to go to GA and stay for a while. Get closer to his mom and all. Things suddenly changed. I don't know if it was me and her son planing the wedding or what. But she suddenly hated me and wanted nothing more then me out of his life. And tried to do just that. Well, a few months before the wedding date I found out I was pregnant. After having planed the wedding and having to put it off because of Katrina it had been a year and a half of planing. So we decided to move the wedding date up so we could be married before I was too big to fit in my dress I bought. Well, .................
2007-06-30 11:40:38 · update #1
Well, while up there we learned she didn't have Amanda, her other kid in her care because of the state had placed her in foster care. This was before I found out I was pregnant. So my husband and I offer to get her in our care instead of amanda being in the care of foster. So we got all the paper work done and Amanda was going to be droped off at our house the next day. When his mom Dawn started a big deal about how we wanted Amanda as our kid. The girl is 16 years old. So anyway we backed out and didn't wanna step on anyone toes or start drama. Well we moved back here to Louisianna. We got married. His mom didn't come. And we had our baby boy. Toby was born 11 months go and will be having his 1st birthday party on july 7th. Since the time we moved from GA. His mom has clean up and got amanda back in her care. and moved to mandeville. we live in slidell. Well, I feel my son deserve all of his family in his life. So I found them. Got in contact with his sister and me hubby and baby.....
2007-06-30 11:40:52 · update #2
and we met up with his sister ate lunch. Since time been trying to get dawn to either tell me why she doesnt' like me or at least get to know her grandson. So at my last try I wrote her a 4 page letter telling her my thoughts on everything. And inviting her to my son 1st birthday telling her this is my last chance. And now no response. Should I call to see if she coming to the birthday or not do a thing? O forgot when we told her we was pregnant. which was hard because we knew already she didn't approve of me. She said Yall don't need a kid and I don't wanna be a grandma. NOt happy at all. And Yet I don't know why I still am tryin to get her to know him and be in his life. She's a b itch to say it lighty but I just wish I could get her to get to know me instead of pushing me away and in doing so pushing her son away.
HELLLLLLLLLPPPPPPPPP
SOOOOO CLLLUEELESS WHAT TO DO NOW?????????????????????? I WANT HER IN BABY LIFE AND OURS BUT SHE HATES ME. AND I'VE DONE ALL I CAN.
2007-06-30 11:41:21 · update #3
Husband doesn't care for a relationship with his mom. After all she wasn't there when he was growing up. And he looks at it as if she doesn't wanna be there now F UCK her. But I'm different.
2007-06-30 12:11:27 · update #4
From the sounds of it this lady didn't even want to be a Mom. I'm not too surprised to read she didn't want to be a Grandma either. It sounds a good deal like she may be jealous to the extreme. Her son whom she has never known has a new woman in his life, and is now a father. And she was never even a mom so wrapping her head around being a grandma is probably pretty difficult honestly. It's kinda like my dad really. If she doesn't come to the party.......and don't call her. Screw her. It's her loss. Remember that you did what you could.
2007-06-30 11:50:56 · answer #1 · answered by ♥N,K,E&DJ'§ Mommy♥ 4 · 4⤊ 0⤋
That is just it...you have done your part. Now leave her alone. If she doesn't want to be in your son's life, then it is HER LOSS, not yours or anyone elses. I know it is hard. My Grandma, for some reason doesn't like me or my mom and it was hard at first, but I could careless. I have other women who have so to speak adopted me as their grandchild and they are in my life and that is all that I need. Sounds to me like she isn't fit to be in your son's life anyway! I work for Child Protective Services and I am sorry, if a woman left my husband over drugs and alcohol then I wouldn't want anything to do with her! I would respect her, but pushing the issue of having her in my life and my son's...no thanks! I know you are probably yearning for that mother figure since you lost your mother at such a young age and I know that you just want her to except you...but you did your part by writing the letter. If she doesn't show up, well then forget her! She doesn't deserve your son's love anyway. I am sure if your husband loves you he will stand beside you. Good luck with this and I know it is hard...but hang in there!
2007-06-30 18:56:02 · answer #2 · answered by Amy V 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
My reaction to that if I were in your shoes would be to just let her take the next step. The last few words of your last addition say it all. You've done all you can, the ball is in her court.
I've learned in my time that you can't make people do what you intended from an action on your part, they have to react in their own way and their own time. As long as she isn't actually causing problems between you and your husband, you should just leave it alone. I'm sure you;ve done this already, but talk to your husband about your feelings and ask him what he would do in your position. Tell him some of the things you are told in this answers post, after you get a few ideas, and ask his opinion.
Good luck!
2007-06-30 18:52:24 · answer #3 · answered by Michelle H 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
You don't need to force something that is not going to be.
She is obviously jealous in some way. She obviously wants more from your husband and sees you in the way. She is also not very mature. She still sees her son as a little boy, not a grown man old enough to have a family.
You need to think about what is important. That is you, your husband and your child. Send her cards, invites and pictures. Do not expect anything in return. Maybe she will come around maybe she won't. You can't change her only you.
2007-06-30 18:52:08 · answer #4 · answered by Samantha 2 · 3⤊ 0⤋
How did his mom go from liking you to hating you maybe she jealous. She wasn't there for her son and now hear you are in his life and she missed his whole life but if that is the case it's no fault but hers. How does your husband feel about his mom? What can you do i understand you want your baby to know his family. But sometimes people won't change i would try calling her if she hangs up then you know your answer.
2007-06-30 18:58:55 · answer #5 · answered by Adrianne R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think everyones live would have been better if she would have stayed dead. She took off when he was a baby she has no rights now. Who cares if she doesn't like you. If she really loved her son or her grandson she would put forth some effort whether she liked you or not. I wouldn't contact her agian. You son doesn't need that drama in his life.
2007-06-30 18:57:53 · answer #6 · answered by Steffy 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
like you say, you have done all you can. The ball is in her court. She will be the one missing out, not your son, after all you dont miss what you have never had. It sounds like she doesn't even have time for her own children, never mind grandchildren. I wouldn't worry about it too much, let her get on with her life, and you concentrate on making sure you retain a happy marriage, and bringing your son up. Good luck.
2007-06-30 18:50:53 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 0⤋
Leave it up to her. It almost sounds like she is looking for attention. If she wants her grandson in her life she will be there. Is your husband's younger sister in your lives? Don't stress over it. Also, what does your husband say?
2007-06-30 18:51:00 · answer #8 · answered by Cathy 2 · 4⤊ 0⤋
She is just no good. You are better off without her. You want a mom and a grandmom so bad and that is a shame. Maybe a nice older neighbor or friend can fill that role for you.
2007-06-30 18:48:16 · answer #9 · answered by notyou311 7 · 4⤊ 0⤋
1] don't worry about your mother-in-law [ MIL ], she's a big girl
2] worry about Amanda - keep lines of communication open with her, so she can call for help, if need be. Make sure she has your email addresses, phone, cell, etc., and write her a note frequently.
2007-06-30 21:57:13 · answer #10 · answered by Nurse Susan 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋