When I was in college I met a guy. He was a bit older than me. He told me that his family where from the Trinidad and Egypt. It later turned out he lied and that he is muslim and from Pakistan. I am not muslim nor am I from Pakistan.
We were going out with each other and had a great time. I never met his family because he always made excuses that they lived abroad. 2 years later I fell pregnant. When I told him he told me to 'get rid of it'. I was alone the whole pregnancy. He has never provided anything for my son and when I ask him for things he tells me to go to the Child Support Agency.
His parents know nothing about my son and when I threaten him and say that I will tell them he gets scared.
He fed me so many lies and I was want to expose him to the family. I wrote a letter to his mother 2 weeks ago. I enclosed photos and my number. but she has not got back to me. I think he has intercepted the letter.
Should I tell his family?
2007-06-30 09:06:46 · 24 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
yes he got you pregant
2007-06-30 09:11:06 · answer #1 · answered by Shirley Canela. 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go to a the court and get child support already. He'll probably refuse and then the court will order a DNA test to establish paternity. Then you'll have your proof and financial support.
And why are you threatening him with exposure? What do you think you'll get out of it? All you'll do is upset his parents. He's not going to feel bad about the way he has treated you and your son. You can't make him feel guilty or show remorse. Trying to get back at him is very juvenile. You are a mother. Instead of acting like a 13 year old you need to act like a grown woman. Go to court for child support. Leave his parents out of it. They didn't have sex with you and then abandon you.
The best you can get is child support. The letter you sent to the grandparents makes you look bitchy and vengeful.
No doubt he has told his parents you are a **** and that you slept around and it's some other guys kid. And they believe him.
2015-04-08 08:37:07 · answer #2 · answered by E. 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should tell them. but next time send it to his father. if they are a traditional family, he wouldn't dare take his fathers mail. this might also be a little touchy, you need to research tradition of pakistanies and of muslim's. so you better know what you are getting into. i grow up when a family of muslim's and their believes are a little different. I'm sorry if it sounds offencieve, i dont mean it to be. but an example all the kids had arranged marriages and they were american citizens. and just things like that. but you need to see how much you can find out about his family. It might be better to go and tell the parents in person, but i don't think you should take your son but do take someone like your mom or dad or a friends ect. Just in case they react baddly and you all start yelling or something.
but yes you should tell them. they should know they have a grandson out there.
just a thought but could he be married, he could have had an arranged marriage or something. If he has lied to you about his family and his background couldn't he have lied about this too.
And with the Child Support Agency, i say do it. take him to court and make him pay child support. you will have to do a DNA test but hopefully that won't be a problem.
good luck
2007-06-30 09:47:53 · answer #3 · answered by c_greiff 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This man has done nothing but lie and impregnate you.
You need to go to Child Protective Services and get the ball rolling on child support. You can demand a DNA test to prove paternity. Stop listening to his lies.
I'm not so sure about advising his family because they may be in your life a lot more than you've bargained for but how is it that he's intercepted your letter? Unless he raided the mailbox (a felony) I'm hoping you didn't ask him to mail it for you? Please tell us you didn't!!!
You don't say a word about your family? Have none? Or non-supportive? You need as much support as you can get because it sounds like the only person you're talking to is him and he didn't even want you to have your baby in the first place.
2007-06-30 09:29:33 · answer #4 · answered by mrpeachycat 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There might come a day when you wish that he wasnt the dad. Believe me, nothing worse than an ex making a nuisance because its "their Child". If you get another bloke then my guess is he will tell you what religion, where when etc. Also, do you want the possibility of him running off with your child, in a diff country growing up not knowing you?... always a possibility.
Let sleeping dogs lie..... im sure youre love and family is all ur child needs in the world.
2007-06-30 15:39:38 · answer #5 · answered by angi zefi 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This bothers me...
You're not Muslim nor are you from Pakistan...
Therefore you do not understand his culture, nor would you understand the importance of purity, and the importance of a son.
You will be telling them that not only is their son nor pure but he also has a bastard son. I am sorry to be blunt but that is what your boy is born out of wedlock.
At the very least a tradional muslim family would disown him, at the worst hmmm you may find yourself in hiding trying to stop his family taking your son, and the father disappearing.
Think carefully before you take any action...
I suggest you research his culture, then you may understand his fear.
Take him to the CSA and do right by your child.
2007-06-30 09:30:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
This is diffficult one , has your ex actually told you the truth about his parents now ,how could you send a letter,how did you know where they lived,did he tell you?
I think the real question is why do you want to tell his parents ? Is it for revenge or because you want your child to know where they are from?
Whatever decision you make always think whats best for your child in the long run. Getting back at an ex because you want to hurt them like you have been hurt is not always the best idea.
Good luck in whatever you choose to do.
2007-07-01 02:12:19 · answer #7 · answered by midsummer 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you should tell them. Otherwise as your child grows older you may feel sad that his paternal grandparents don't know him or possibly aunts and uncles.
Maybe they will step up to the plate in the way your ex can not. Maybe they will be family to him, or even provide some money. But you won't have the guilt of feeling like you robbed your child of some of his family.
2007-06-30 09:56:58 · answer #8 · answered by emilyjacinda 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
This can not go on for ever. He treated you badly, you have to tell his parents what he done. He is old enough to deal with the consequences. You never know they might turn up to be really nice people because they are Muslim, they value families and they might even be on your side. Good Luck!!!
2007-06-30 10:18:24 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
What do you expect from this? Would you want him back? Would you want them in your life? What do you know of those people? What if they want to get involved in your son's life? more than you might wish?
I'd say you had a lucky exit, you didn't get married to the loser, and at least you don't owe him or his family anything.
Count your blessings and move on with your life. Plenty of fish in the sea, and better ones for you. Good luck.xx
2007-06-30 09:18:52 · answer #10 · answered by Kc 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes you should! If I had a grandchild that I didn't know about it would break my heart I would want to know. You need to put your child first this could go either ways. His parents may not want to be a part of your childs life or they will. Good luck
2007-06-30 09:59:19 · answer #11 · answered by kiwigirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋