My mom is very old-fashioned and it clashes with my modern yet traditional views.
- she thinks girls can't be good friends with guys unless they're going out
- if a girl is out with a boy alone, it's suggestive that they're together so I can't get hang out with just a guy friend b/c ppl will think "otherwise"
- she takes pictures of me and my best friend (guy) and hides it or puts it last in the photo album intead of keeping it in the front.
- she disagrees with people going out at night...since we're girls, she doesn't understand why we have to go out when it's dark...we should be home by then
this is driving me nuts!! the older i'm getting, the more it's getting under my skin...how do i deal with this??
2007-06-30 08:16:17 · 8 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Your mom has some points about a few things. If you are out with a guy alone, people will assume you are dating. That's the truth of it. I went out with guy friends before and people asked if he was my boyfriend, when we weren't anywhere NEAR dating. Your mom may also just have some issues with you growing up. You need to sit down and talk to her. You may not be able to change her mind, and you need to accept that possibility. But, be an adult about things. Show some maturity and simply talk to her. Tell her your side of things without raising your voice, without whining about it or complaining, but rather, be adult and mature and say, "Mom, I know you think like this but this is the way that I see it and this is why." Sit down and just have a talk with her. Don't be mean or anything like that. Just relax and see where SHE is coming from. Ask her why she thinks they way she does. Perhaps her mother raised her like that as well. Think about it. Also, remember, you are still under your mom's roof. You have to respect her way. She is your mom and she has your best interest at heart. She isn't trying to do anything that hurts you. She is your mom -- she loves you. Be thankful you have one that cares about you -- she may care a bit too much, but she DOES care and that is a wonderful blessing. Smile because of that. It's great to have that.
2007-07-01 18:09:20 · answer #1 · answered by One Odd Duck 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is not much you can do if your under 18. You have to live with her rules. Then the day you turn 18 you can move out and live life as you want.
You only real option is to simply no tell your mom anything she can use against you. Never have any boy come over the house, for example. And don't go out and party at night.
It's pontless to try and talk to her...she is too far gone and out of touch with reality.
2007-06-30 15:23:44 · answer #2 · answered by null_the_living_darkness 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋
She has a few points- girls and guys usually can't stay friends w/o an emotional attachment, being alone does lead to physical involvement, I don't get the pic thing, and it is safer at home. She just wants you safe, as all moms do. BTW, how old are you?
2007-06-30 15:22:35 · answer #3 · answered by greenfrogs 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you're an adult (over 18) you don't let your mother get to you, and you smile at her when she tells you stuff like this, and then do your own thing anyway. That's assuming you live on your own, if you live in her home, then her house, her rules.
If you're UNDER 18 (which I suspect you are) you grin and bear it until you're 18. You come home when you're supposed to be home, and again, recognize that it's your mother's house, and it's her rules that you must follow. She's responsible for you, and she makes rules not to keep you from having fun, but to keep you safe.
2007-06-30 15:29:10 · answer #4 · answered by basketcase88 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
How to deal with an "old fashioned" mom?
With Patience and counting your blessings. You are truly blessed by this mom and you will see that and be thankful when you get older.
Let her know that she has done a great job raising you and that the values that she has raised you with will guide you into good decision making. Good Luck
2007-06-30 15:35:56 · answer #5 · answered by LuvinLos 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds like everything your mom says makes sense. i would not call it old fashion, if anything it is more dangerous to go out after dark these days than when your mom was young. and that is what you DO with pictures, you put the more recent ones in the back, so they are in order :P
2007-06-30 15:24:48 · answer #6 · answered by Christina V 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It could be that she is afraid you might make her mistakes, and that is scaring her. Until you are old enough to move out, you have to deal with her ways. You only have one mother, be there for her when she needs you, I know it is annoying, but in the end you will be able to face whatever bolder comes across and be able to move it over. It is her way of telling you to always respect yourself.
2007-06-30 15:36:34 · answer #7 · answered by Heartful_poet 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it sounds like youre going to have to deal with it.
since she is your mother you cant really freak out on her ffor being crazy.
maybe try to talk to your dad and get him to moderinze her a little bit or if you feel comfortbale enough, tell her yourself.
2007-06-30 15:21:05 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋