How do I GET OVER my jealousy of my sister?

Question

I am jealous because she is starting to drive. I know its weird but I admit it. That is all she talks about. She brings it up. For example, we were with our friends and she said out of the blue “mom won’t let me drive to Arlington Park because there are bad drivers around here.” And then they say “ Oh, you’re driving?” And then she blabs away about herself and my parents continue. It’s so annoying! And this morning my parents wouldn’t let her drive somewhere and she cried! (16 in September). She always cries. I haven’t cried for like a year. She is driving to church tomorrow or tonight, whenever we go. I don’t want her to! I just don’t want to be in the car. That is all she will talk about. I know I should be happy for her but I’m not. I’m just jealous. I will be able to get my permit next year on July 6 (my birthday) when I turn 15. We are 1 grade apart but she is older for a sophomore and I am young for a freshman. I am 14 on July 6. She will get her license this year. Also, what contributes to my jealousy is she is always the topic of conversations. She is track star, went to state as a freshman. Her worst grade was a 96%. I was a 83%. She has all advanced classes. I am in regular. My 11 y/o brother is in all advanced classes for middle school and star of baseball team. I am batting last on my team and can’t do anything to impress anyone. I’m not good at basketball and soccer, and hate football, like pads and serious practices. I love to watch and play football in my backyard but not all the seriousness of the sport. I can’t cook, sing (and am sure of it), or do much else. And the only sport I can play well is Ultimate Frisbee. I played my brother and sister in a game with another person on my team and we killed them. Now they don’t play me. And the nearest camp is 20 miles away. I asked my dad if I could join and he said “if you want to walk 20 miles, go ahead.” And she is mean. I get yelled at every day and I “ruined” her garden. (I “overwatered”) The garden is doing fine. And they never go outside. I am the only one that actually works on baseball. I play everyday. They are addicted to TV and video games. They used to be tan, now they are pale as a ghost. I have the only tan. This just gets me so annoyed. How can I deal with her driving because she will be soon.
Thanks!

Answer 1

Just get over it! My older sis is 17, and I'm 14. She has her permit, and drives sometimes. She is my only sibling, and I'm happy for her! I've been waiting for her to start driving for a long time, because my dad works at night, he sleeps during the day, and is too lazy too bring me anywhere. He makes a big fuss out of it, and complains about how he is tired. My sis studied all last summer for her big driving test, then she passed succesfully. I was so excited, because now we will be able to go places without any problems. We are generally interested in the same stuff, so we go shopping together, and have a great time. She is also going to work this summer, so she will have money too. She said she won't share her money, but at least my mom and dad have to only worry about giving me money now. I'm soooo happy she is working, and actually has a life outside of school and family. You should be happy for your sis, and maybe she will be nicer to you, and bring you places also. Who cares if she is a cry baby, just let her cry if she wants too. She is probably stressed out, or is going through her menstral period. Leave her alone! When I'm stressed or going through my menstral period, all you have to do is say "no" to me, and I'll get hysterical. Half the time I don't even know why I'm getting so upset. Anyway you guys could probably have a lot of fun together if you would actually give her chance!

Answer 2

Ask your Dad what you could do to earn a driving lesson (like in a big empty parking lot). Tell him how you feel about big sister's driving and ask him to even the score. Maybe if you wash the car, detail it? Or take out all the trash for a certain period of time w/o being told.

Want to really get sis's goat? The next time she's driving, wear a crash helmet. "I don't want to ride with her driving, but if I have to, I'm going to be prepared."

Your sister and brother have found their sweet spots early. They know what they're good at and probably even know what they're going to do when they grow up. With you, though, it's a little more difficult. Lots of great men didn't do well in school or only had a little education. So don't measure your worth as a person based on grades. Just keep looking around, watching the world, until you find something that fascinates you. Then study it.

Your mom & dad's reactions, though not particularly polite and helpful, are not unexpected. They are tired, don't want any extra commitments, etc. Again, ask Mom, "What do I have to do to earn a trip to the Frisbee camp?"

Fresh air, sunshine, lots of exercise, sounds like you're on the right track. Next time Sis throws her driving in your face, have something ready that you do better. "Yes, well, enjoy this next year because after I get my license, you're going to have to fight me tooth and nail to drive the car."

P.S. I can see by your post that you're very intelligent, and your English is impeccable. You're a smart kid. They may have the grades, but you've still got the IQ. And we both know they won't have any IQ left after the TV and video games are done with them.

Good luck.

Answer 3

By understanding that you are not in competition with anyone. You really aren't. You will make your own way in life, will have your own friends and your own strengths and abilities.

A year to wait to drive may sound like a lifetime but it will go so quickly. I do remember wanting so badly to drive and could hardly wait. Now, I have been driving over 30 years!

You do the things that you really want to do. You enjoy life and remember that it is you alone who chooses to be happy. No one can give you that. Happiness is not dependent on anyone else. It is a choice you make.

So let her gloat and try to get attention for driving. Your time will come for that too and you are above such petty jealousy. You are a princess in your own right.

Answer 4

You need to stop wasting time worrying about what other people are capable of doing and start being proud of yourself for your own accomplishments. Don't say that you have none because that isn't true. Find things that you really enjoy and make the most of it. (for you, not other people) When your sister starts bragging about driving, just smile and say,I'm happy for you" and change the subject. Remember that you have to take charge of your own happiness so get busy, start every morning by looking in the mirror and giving yourself a great big smile. Simple, but it works!!!!

Answer 5

You're the middle child, i know how you feel, i'm 16 and i have an older brother and a lil sister that i stay with. Alot of people go through that. But don't worry, just try your best at the things you like to do. And of course you ain't driving you're just 14. My lil sister is the same way, but she started driving in the street before me and she is 15, but i am driving too, so it really doesn't matter to me. I don't let her bragging get to me, i just congratulate her. Me and her got our permit before my 18 year old brother, he doesn't care he's happy for us. We got out of the stage of being jealous of each other because we love each other and we're getting older so we put that behind us. Just love them and they'll love you back.

Answer 6

ok so from what i can tell you are pretty much getting it like all middle children get it. The biggest is always first to do everything, and the smallest is still the baby so theyre gonna get more attention. My advice to you is to really look for something you CAN excell in. Not for your parents or anyone else but yourself. For example most of my life when i was your age was pretty much just like yours. My sister was in ROTC, was in honors classes, had tons of friends, and she liked to rub it in. Well what i did to rectify the situation is when i became a freshman, i sat at a different lunch table everyday for a month or so to get to know ALOT of people. hell just by doing that on the first day of school my sister got jealous of me because everyone was saying hello to me and not her. By the time i left school a was a bit popular, not because i did anything like cheerleading or played sports, but because i took the time to get to know people.

as for finding something for you to excell at, well when i was little and had all that jealous rage for my sister i made a list of the things she couldnt do. One of them happened to be drawing. At the time i didnt know how to draw so i would sit myself down and constently practice until everyone started giving me compliments and praising something i did. When that started happening i forgot all about my jealousy towards my sister and was proud in MYSELF for learning something new.

My last piece of advice for you is simple, dont worry about your sister or your brother. both of them are going to grow up and youre going to grow up with them. You all will get to do the same things, just a couple years apart is all. So if youre sister gets in your face about her getting to drive just shrug your shoulders and say "i'll be able to drivce next year, you had to wait, i have to wait too" then walk away. dont sweat the little **** because when you get older your always going to look back and only remember the times when you were jealous of your sister or brother. So stop worrying and get out there and have your own fun.

Answer 7

How sad that you both see life as a competition. It's not, you know. Any time you compare two people, you both lose. Stop comparing yourself to your sister and decide that you are a great person and you are thankful for the ride. It's your mind-- now control it.

Answer 8

wow, first I think you ned to look at you, you talk about all of you accomplishments, but do not mention how proud you are of yourself, don't be jealous of your sister, time passes and you will soon have your own licence, until then, just be proud of you and all that do....... when your sister get's her final licence, you have an advancement, you can ride with her and get to know all the logistics of the road........and when you get yours, you'll already have some insight........good luck, and don't worry, have faith in yourself and be careful behind the wheel........

Answer 9

just cool it your turn will come and you can do the same thing. just wait and you will have time to brag or whatever you want to do just give it time and she'll be quiet.

Answer 10

grow up