My son has stolen money from my purse/money pots, took cards out of shops and now taken sweets from my a friends sweet pot and hid the wrappers down their childs bed.
Any hekp would be greatful
2007-06-30 07:00:32 · 33 answers · asked by kelly b 2 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
I did make him give back the cards. I have made him go to bed at 6.30 every night for 2wks and has lost his ps2 for 6months.
2007-06-30 11:09:33 · update #1
First..I would make him right his wrongs of stealing..
1. Do chores to re-pay you for your stolen money
2. Re-pay the sweets of the friend and
3. march his butt into the shop and make him take the cards back!
2nd
Explain and drill into his head that stealing is wrong, legally (you can be put in jail), mentally-hurts peoples feelings and people will not be his friend is he steals.
3rd-
take away tv, computer, fav toys, skateboard, bike, etc! for stealing.
DO NOT let this continue..if you do not step in now he will continue to steal and could end up in jail..
i also liked the idea above about having a police man come and give him a scare a bit!
2007-06-30 07:10:35 · answer #1 · answered by tara t 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Give him a good talking to, about how you are disappointed in his behaviour, and that trust is an important trait to have, without it, it will make it hard for him to have relationships with family and friends. Tell him that no self respecting person steals, and ask him how he would feel if someone had done it to him. Try to be as loving and understanding as you can, and ask him why he thinks he does this. This will show him that you really care about him, and that he should care for himself.
I would also make him write letters of apology to the people, or places he has stolen from. I would also make him help out at the shops, cleaning shelves and doing some yucky jobs for the people he stole from. This will show him there are consequences for his behaviour.
As a last resort, I would arrange for him to be taken on a tour of a jail by a police officer, to show him where the criminals are kept, and let them have a good talk with him (the police, not the criminals lol). This will show him what his future could be like if he continues on this path.
Good luck, and don't listen to those people who say he is a brat, or that you should give him a smack. There might just be a reason he is acting out like this. If all else fails, you might consider a counsellor. There could be some issues you are not aware of, that are manifesting themselves through this behaviour.
2007-06-30 07:45:45 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 1⤋
He needs to make restitution. Have him apologize to your friend and the child he tried to frame and as punishment he must clean the yard or the lavatory (an unpleasant chore that takes at least 20 minutes is good). If he steals from a shop mach him back and have him confess to the store manager and let them know he is not to be trusted. The more you make him understand it is wrong the better. For the money he stole from you make him do extra chores and write you a sincere apology as well as the reasons theft is wrong. Put your purse into a locking cabinet and tell him that you don't trust him and that if he wants your trust he has to behave. Be firm-strict and follow through with discipline. After 30 days of extra chores offer him an allowance for the work to continue - then the punishment is a skill he can now earn money for. He did not understand that money comes from work so now he must learn to make money is far better then to steal and to buy your own treats is a sweeter reward. Children need to learn to earn and this is a good day to start teaching. Good Luck!
2007-06-30 07:11:53 · answer #3 · answered by Walking on Sunshine 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he wants to act like a thief, treat him like a thief.
Don't do the crime if you can't do the time.
When he steals from the store, ask to speak to the manager. Make him apologize to the store manager and give the items back. Make a deal with the store manager that he is to spend time sweeping, taking out the trash or some simple chore like that to pay for his crime. Have his punishment scheduled at the same time that he usually does some favorite activity, like watch cartoons, play baseball, go swimming, etc. This way he learns that crime does not pay. It would also help if the other employees knew why he was there working.
As for your friend, she should but him to work too. Since he hid the evidence in the child's room, cleaning it could be a start. Any time he steals from her, he works it off.
As for you, the same thing goes. If he takes money from you, then he works it off, or loses one of his prize possessions, until he pays you back. I would also find a way to lock up the money until he overcomes his habit.
The best thing I can recommend is that you contact your local precinct and as for a lieutenant. Tell him your situation and ask him if you can bring your son to the jailhouse. They do have some sections usually for those who are awaiting their trail (unless you live in a small town). Have the officer show your son exactly what happens to thieves. Let him try on the jumpsuit and shackles. Have him sit in a cell. It is called "scared straight." Doing this now may stop him from going on to bigger and worse things. It is up to you, but you might even want to let you son talk to some of the men locked up for petty theft, if they will allow it. They have a program where I am that takes teens and children 10 and up, who have been getting in trouble through a tour of this type. It is done in hopes to deter them from doing anything more serious.
I hope that you can turn your son around. Just talking to him won't work. Treating him like a baby won't work. This is going to take some tough love. It is going to be hard for both of you. Make sure that you let him know that you love him, or you would not be doing this. If you didn't love him, you wouldn't care what happened to him. I am glad that you are stepping up and being a parent, not many do that these days.
2007-06-30 07:51:24 · answer #4 · answered by starwberry 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Poor you. I did this when I was about that age, to my everlasting shame. What cured me was seeing how upset my mum was about it. She cried and cried and kept saying "what did I do wrong"?". So if you are upset about this, I suggest you don't hide it too well. Your son needs to know the effect his behaviour has on other people, and some time spent explaining this carefully would be well spent. At 9 he is old enough to understand that stealing is wrong. Explain your concerns and outline what he can expect to happen if he keeps stealing. There should be a firm punishment, such as loss of pocket money, extra jobs to pay for it, if he is caught stealing again.
Next I think you have to go with him so that he can apologise to the people from whom he stole, and pay for all the items out of his pocket money. Perhaps he can also pay for 'sorry' cards where appropriate.
Good luck hon - this doesn't necessarily make you a bad mum. The fact that you are so concerned suggests that you are a good one.
2007-06-30 07:42:56 · answer #5 · answered by Jan S 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
Teach him a lesson he won't forget along the lines suggested above or what *you* know will work for *him*as a deterrence.
Tell him that by stealing he will have no friends or respect and may end up in jail.
*Then* try to see if there is a genuine reason behind this - and I mean genuine not an excuse.
My third was caught stealing from a shop but he had been bullied into it - his brothers would have been caned for stealing because they were not the sort to be bullied (or bully) - but my third wasn't in this instance - I told him that he should never give in to threats,tell me about any and then went to sort out the bullies myself.
It is a phase that many boys go through - and needs to be dealt with and nipped in the bud.
Good luck,
Joan.
2007-06-30 07:34:36 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
I stole a piece of gum once. My mother made me go back in and tell the store owner what I had done and it scared me to death. Show the child how wrong it is to take someones things by forcing them to confront the person from whom they took the items.
You can also have a police officer come by your house and have him conduct an interview with the child. Tell the officer the situation and have him "follow up" on leads to your child, just like a regular adult, but toned down of course.
Hope that helps.
2007-06-30 07:05:26 · answer #7 · answered by JamesB7476 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Don't tell him to sit on the naughty step! My bro stole from my dad when we were young - my dad tanned his a*se and he never did it again. But in this PC age, I suppose that's out of the question.
So, take away all his electronics, hand helds, etc - EVERYTHING. For every penny or sweetie he's nicked, ground him for that many days and if he's nicked from a shop - take him back in and report him to the manager or if he tends to steal from a particular shop, go and speak to the manager and ask him to help with a few threats.
2007-06-30 09:04:21 · answer #8 · answered by M'SMA 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
How seriously do you want to take care of the problem?
Because what I would do is call your local police department, and ask if they have an officer who could come and talk with your son and scare the holy bejeebers out of him.
Next time he takes something, you march him to the person from whom he stole and make he apologize, return the item AND pay for what he stole.
But I would ask the police for intervention. Because, honestly, it's now or later that they will be meeting him!
2007-06-30 07:06:09 · answer #9 · answered by Cheesy 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Tell him in no uncertain terms it is wrong punish him (no tv grounded whatever) tell him you will go to the police if it happens again make him pay the friend for the sweets take the cards back to the shop and pay you back
2007-06-30 07:04:39 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋