I am getting married next year to a man who is in his middle thirties and is the only child. Just from conversations he and I have back and forth, it sounds like his mom is hard to please with the girls he dates. Basically like no one is good enough for her son. I am in my early thirties, never married but do have a daughter who is 8 years old. Her father is not in her picture and never has been. I am a great person, have a great job for never going to college and etc, but have struggle for many years on making ends meet for me and my daughter. My credit is horrible and we do are best to get by. He has no kids, has a college degree in computers and etc. I have only met his mom once and that was at this past Christmas. Going by female intution, I just have this funny feeling that she is not crazy about me. What do I do?
2007-06-30 03:42:17 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
Just wanted to add due to once response that was given....I am not marrying this man for financial security. I just commented on that so you know about our backgrounds.Trust me....I don't need a man to support me....To me marriage is about trust and love, and having a family.
2007-06-30 03:54:21 · update #1
Hi...
I guess the best thing to do is remember you are marrying your mother-in-law's SON and not her.
My best suggestion is act like a lady, and treat your mother in law as you wish to be treated...
another suggestion is never discuss your finances, problems or deeply personal issues with her.
mother in laws can seem like "the enemy" sometimes, and many have a hard time letting go of their sons and/or accepting the person they are marrying... it wouldn't matter if you were the queen of sheba or a street person, you'd probably never feel "good enough" where some mother in laws are concerned.
don't worry about her. take care of YOU.
i hope everything works out.
2007-06-30 03:57:37 · answer #1 · answered by letterstoheather 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I had a mother in law who i thought would not like me either, but it turned out after a while she actually became my best friend and when the marriage went south she was my biggest ally. So you never really know.. the important thing is to be polite and with a strong willed mother in law never compete in her personal domain (her house) more then likely you will get along fine.. just show her how much you love her son and if she is any kind of person at all she will let go a bit..
2007-06-30 11:01:19 · answer #2 · answered by silversiren28 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
well being a mother myself honestly there is no one in this world that would be good enough for my children and pray day and night to god to let them have an easy life and therefore a partner in life if at all possible to not cause them any hardship if you know what i mean.
Going back to you, you are the new comer into her son's life and she does not know u at all and will like so many mother judge on what is there to be seen or heard rather than going in depth for she does not have the time. It is up to you being younger than her and being the bigger "man" to stand down and show her what exactly you are and could offer her son.
You could try to win her heart, it may seem you are losing but look at it from a greater picture and in the long run u will emerge as the winner be it from her eyes and your husband eyes. Both her and your husband will love you more for it.
It is easier said than done i know because i have been there and times i shed thousand of tears. I live my life as i wanted with my husband and kids but when it come to her i show nothing other than the highest respect i have for her even at times i feel like putting her in her place.
Trust from her is earned and not given as she is the mother (i know that now being a mother myself) and it takes time and not just one act of kindness. I never let her dislike carries on in my life to next day only at that instance does it effect me but just swallow it and think of my husband love to compensate for the stupid hurt.
Now she love me as if i am her own daughter and talks to me about her dislike to another in law of mine in secrecy. She is adorable now and i know she deserve what i gave her because she did bring up my husband and no matter how that is, it is a great scarifice to me . It was all worthed.
2007-06-30 11:05:05 · answer #3 · answered by soundfamiliar 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She is being protective. This is worse because he is an only child and seems to have his act together. What matters is the relationship between you 2. Since you are both in your 30's, it's time for him to stop caring about what Mommy thinks and focus on his relationship. If you are a good person and show her you are not out to hurt her son, she should come around. Good Luck.
2007-06-30 10:52:02 · answer #4 · answered by son_of_glen 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
join all the wives all over the world and share sad stroies about mothers in laws. they all believe no one is good enough for their son. try ur best to b nice but at the end of the day its him ure marrying not her.
goodluck
2007-06-30 10:49:46 · answer #5 · answered by *blink* 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I was in a similar situation three years ago. My husband stood up for me and our relationship. He told his mama to deal with it or she would see him or any future grandchildren ever again. He told her to treat me with respect and civility and I would do the same. But if my feelings go hurt once he would just stop speaking to her. I know this is drastic but have your soon to be speak to his mother and let her know that she's got to respect his choices. I know parents want the best for their children but if they protect them too much they actually start to hurt them.
2007-06-30 11:29:34 · answer #6 · answered by Adrian M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It happens with every one at the intial stage.When she will become the real mother in law and later on becomes a grand mother the whole scenario will change.It will be just the opposite.
2007-06-30 10:48:11 · answer #7 · answered by mdash2001 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You sound like you're looking for financial security, not a husband. Yet and still, you want to dodge his mother's intuition about you.
2007-06-30 10:47:14 · answer #8 · answered by Cheech 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
nothing. be yourself.. she may warm up after getting to know you..and maybe not. but you are marrying her son.,not her. how your life goes..depends on him ... supporting you. ... and you doing the right things..so she cannot say... see i told you she was not right for you. you have done well for you and your daughter.. (it sounds like) it is not easy being a single parent. i commend you. they should too
2007-06-30 10:49:13 · answer #9 · answered by foosieboy1953 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Who cares about your sh!t
2007-06-30 10:45:05 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 3⤋