Are there ways & means to prevent us from turning into our Dads? :-)?

Answer 1

Expose yourself to it less. I just wrote this big thing to you on cultural entrapments. Which breeds sameness in people. So, I won't start again on that. But think about it.

Deliberately make different choices based on everything that you learned from him and about him. You may have been taught that your just an apple that fell from the tree. But in my book,....You are the TREE.

There is something to remember about people, and our genetics in general.

Our parents are who they are not only due to genetic material, but more importantly through their choices. Which they have raised you in.

Now, the choices are about you.

Long haul, reprogramming the genetic material. Through education, choices, exposure to different people, places, interests. Choosing action, rather than re-action....

All that...adds up. You could wind up evolving that family tree right out of it's old structures. I think our children always jump off the old ideals that we have and rework it all. Then fly off into their own world. IT just takes time and effort. and a certain controlled rebellion.

I make it easy for my kids. I tell them; "Your not me, so we don't have a problem".

Answer 2

If you are just a normal kid who is having trouble with the natural separation that goes on during your teen years, then at some time you are going to feel bad that you ever thought that.

However if your father is a bad parent, you can break that cycle by learning to be a good father. That takes balancing everything else in your life, husband, son, employee, with parenting. It take making parenting a priority, and sacrificing your needs for your kids. That means you take the time and effort to be there, physically and emotionally for your children, for their lifetime. Its not a job for the faint of heart. But you can be a better father than yours is, as long as your perspective and assessment is correct.

Answer 3

Yes! By being yourself and doing what you and only you think is right. I am very much the opposite of my dad, but I do have the few good qualities he has too... So while in most ways I am nothing like him, becuase I learned from his mistakes. I do certain things just like he used to. Just take the good from your father, and change the bad!

Answer 4

I've been wondering that myself since I have a couple of young children now.

I think the hardest thing for us as people and fathers is that when we're placed in new or difficult or stressful situations we act out the behaviors we've seen modeled. If the only model we have of fatherhood is our own fathers, that's going to be the behavior that we display most often.

The BEST thing I've found is to simply BE, in and around others who you admire, and absorb their examples. Take refuge in the sangha (or for me, the church)... it's in community that we are able to draw from the example and energy of others.

Peace to you.

Answer 5

Yes, always use a condom, turn gay or just to be safe, book yourself in for a vasectomy right now.

Answer 6

my dad rules, hes well cool, so i dont mind if i turn out like him

Answer 7

no your doomed lol, my brothers are both getting more and more like our dad, but my husband, thank goodness, isn't like his dad YET !!

if that happens i'll be divorcing him !!

Answer 8

yes and all the means can be summarised in one phrase. i'll write the prase in block letters.. you'll need to think hard to understand full. here..... BE YOURSELF.

Answer 9

Yes, it's called being your own person.

Answer 10

By expecting something from yourself and focus...

Success come from achieving -- not having.