if this is funny, give me one star!!!!?

Question

After Mrs. Jacobs found out her husband was sterile, the couple decided to hire a proxy father to start their family. On the day the proxy father was to arrive, Mr. Jacobs kissed his wife and said 'I'm off to work, Lydia. The guy should be here soon.'

Wouldn't you know it, a door-to-door baby photographer came by half an hour later, hoping to make a sale. Mrs. Jacobs answered the door. 'Good morning, ma'am. You don't know me, but I've come to...' 'Oh yes, I know why you're here. Harry told me you'd be coming soon.' 'He did? But I...' 'Come right in! No use wasting time .' 'Very well, then.'

The photographer took out his briefcase and sat down. 'As you may already know, I've made a specialty of babies.' 'Good, I'm glad,' said Mrs. Jacobs. 'That's just what Harry and I were looking for.'

'I usually like to try two in the bathtub, one on the couch and perhaps a couple on the bed,' said the photographer. 'The living room floor is fun too...you can really spread out.' 'Bathtub? Living room floor? No wonder it never worked for Harry and me.' 'Well, ma'am, none of us can guarantee a perfect one every time, but if we try several different positions and I shoot from six or seven different angles, I think you'll be quite pleased with the results.'

'I certainly hope we can get this over with quickly,' Mrs. Jacobs gasped nervously. 'Ma'am, in my line of work a man must take his time. I'd like to be in and out in five minutes, but you'd be disappointed with that, I'm sure.' 'Don't I know!' said Mrs. Jacobs.

The photographer pulled out a portfolio of his pictures. 'This one was done on top of a bus in downtown London,' he said, showing Mrs. Jacobs the picture. 'Oh my God!' exclaimed Mrs. Jacobs, tugging on her handkerchief.

'And these twins turned out exceptionally well when you consider the fact that their mother was so difficult to work with.' He showed Mrs. Jacobs another picture. 'She was difficult?' questioned Mrs. Jacobs. 'Extremely,' said the photographer. 'I finally had to take her to Hyde Park to get the job done right. People were crowding around, four and five deep, just to get a good look.' 'Four and five deep!' Mrs. Jacobs was amazed. 'Yes,' said the photographer. 'And for more than three hours, too. The mother was constantly squealing and yelling. I could hardly concentrate. Then, it started getting dark and I had to rush my shots. Finally, when the squirrels started nibbling on my equipment. I just packed it all in.'

Mrs. Jacobs leaned forward. 'You mean the squirrels actually chewed on your, um...equipment?' 'Yes, ma'am. Thank God, no real damage was done.

Well, we'll get to work as soon as I set up my tripod.'

'Tripod? ' Mrs. Jacobs looked extremely worried now.

'Of course. I need to use a tripod to rest my Canon on. It's much to big for me to hold while I'm getting ready for action. Ma'am...ma'am...good God, she's fainted!'

Answer 1

Two high school sweethearts
Two high school sweethearts who went out together for four
years in high school were both virgins; they enjoyed losing their virginity with each other in 10th grade.

When they graduated, they wanted to both go to the same college but the girl was accepted to a college on the east coast, and the guy went to the west coast. They agreed to be faithful to each other and spend anytime they could together.

As time went on, the guy would call the girl and she would never be home, and when he wrote, she would take weeks to return the letters. Even when he emailed her, she took days to return his messages.

Finally, she confessed to him she wanted to date around. He didn't take this very well and increased his calls, letters, and emails trying to win back her love.

Because she became annoyed, and now had a new boyfriend,
she wanted to get him off her back. So, what she did is this:
she took a polaroid picture of her sucking her new boyfriend's
unmentionables and sent it to her old boyfriend with a note
reading, "I found a new boyfriend, leave me alone."

Well, needless to say, this guy was heartbroken but, even more so, was pissed. So, what he did next was awesome. He wrote on the back of the photo the following, "Dear Mom and Dad, having a great time at college, please send more money!" and mailed the picture to HER parents.

Answer 2

Excellent. I'll give you not one but two stars.

Now tell me if this is funny and give me one star:

Police academy final exam question:
What is faster, the speed of sound or the speed of light?
1st cadet: -The Sound is
-No, it's wrong. Why do you say that?
-well when i turn on the TV, first i hear the sound and then comes the picture.
2nd cadet: - The light is.
-That is correct. tell my why ?
-Because when i turn on the radio, I see the LED turned on and then I hear the sound.
3rd cadet: - The light is.
-Correct. Please argument on your answer.
-Well...in a storm...
-Yes , yes, go on....
-well you see, the thunder and the lightning...
-That's it, excelent, go on...
-Well I see the lightning first because my eyes are in front of my ears.

Answer 3

LOL. funniest joke ive seen in a good long while.. <3 starred.

Answer 4

Funny! Ha Ha! 10!

Answer 5

Never fall to conclusions... sometimes the conclusions can fall on you.

YIKES!!! A *Canon*?!?! Does it take power-shots?!

LOL!!!

Answer 6

BAHAHAH thats funny lololololol lol haha i laughed =]

Answer 7

very good joke xx star for you

Answer 8

nice joke

Answer 9

u got a star*

Answer 10

x