my husband 56.i 44 married 4 years. he never admired me in anything. i am a piano teacher. this morning,he said i think your students never stay with you long. actually,i am a very popular teacher whom all kids like very much. i hate to be despised all the time. he always forces me to do things i hate,for example,you would say you put too much food in your bowl and forces me to put the food back. how embarrassing. he will say you are very fat. i am 135 pound but i have been like this all my life.i am 5 feet 4.or many times wants me to do things i dont like . if i argue,he will be very mad but i feel so painful in my heart. we have no kid,of course,i dont want kids with him at all.
2007-06-29 22:43:24 · 17 answers · asked by Carol H 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
ohh god, you really have patience to bear him mistreating you like this, girl dont let him humiliate you, leave him with his ignorance.
2007-06-29 23:26:06 · answer #1 · answered by Ginie 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You give no reason why you married him and say he never admired you. There does not seem to be any love in this marriage. Although we hear only your description nof the situation, it seems like he is a controlling person and does not care about understanding anything about you. Your weight is acceptable for your height. Even if you lost a few pounds I doubt if he would be complementary. Why are you staying with him? You don't say the country or culture in which you live so divorce may be difficult. It does sound as though that would be an appropriate action to improve your life, he certainly isn't helping.
2007-06-30 05:55:01 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The details of your question aren't that important. The fact that you married a man you say never admired you speaks more about you than you realize. Why would you marry him??? It sounds like you lack self confidence. Until you find that, no advice anyone gives you will make a difference for you. And honestly....it also sounds like you enjoy the "victim" role. I would guess you come from an abusive background. Find some counseling and build yourself a healthy happy life. You deserve that.
2007-06-30 05:48:59 · answer #3 · answered by wendy 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think youve answered your own question here :) the hard part is doing something about it. its always hard to leave anything youve done for a while, and getting divorced is nothing to sneeze at, but lifes to short to stick around with some old man whos dragging you down. youve still got so much more life to live and great stuff to give.
There are plenty of lovely men out there just waiting for a decent lady who can play a good tune.
Be strong. wish I was 135 lbs lol!!
2007-06-30 05:49:42 · answer #4 · answered by Dani 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Obviously you have to make this decision for yourself, but it sounds as though you are very unhappy, and that he is emotionally abusive. After a few years of marriage it's normal to fall into a routine, and spouses may not go out of their way to be as sweet to each other as they once did, but there's no excuse for him belittling you and trying to control what you eat. It's important that despite what he says you're able to feel good about yourself, that as you said the kids love your teaching and that you are not fat.
It sounds as though you have a lot of thinking to do. Best of luck with whatever you choose.
2007-06-30 05:53:19 · answer #5 · answered by House 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you are that unhappy with the marriage and he is constantly treating you like a child, then get out of the marriage. You have no children with him, so the divorce should be easier than with kids. He sounds like a control freak. Good luck.
2007-06-30 05:48:04 · answer #6 · answered by Peanut Butter 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Honey this is not a healthy way to live. If he is treating you terrible you should either talk to him about your issues or leave. You only live once make the most of it! its not worth being with someone if you are getting treated bad!
2007-06-30 06:52:03 · answer #7 · answered by The Perfect One! 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Dump the bowl of food over his head and haul him out that door for good.
2007-06-30 08:49:10 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you don't leave him you will be having this same conversation in 20 years. Decide if you want that for your future and go from there.
2007-06-30 07:41:07 · answer #9 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to leave this loser. He his treating you like a floor rug...he is walking all over you. Get out while you still have time.
2007-06-30 05:48:37 · answer #10 · answered by prairiefire_14 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Put your piano under your arm and walk.
2007-06-30 05:46:34 · answer #11 · answered by Superdog 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋