feel stuck?

Question

my son has seen his dad on off since he was born.weve been apart for 5years(hes a drug addict). Recently i split from a partner of 2 yrs. i got on with life and bumped into my sons dad at his sis.he wanted to see his son and i ok'd this as long as he behaved around my son .one day i gave him a lift home and went in, it was a state , i knew he was suffering depression and cleaned up got him some food which he payed me back and did some laundry for him.just to help him out as i would anyone i knew.ive kept him at arms length as i dont want anything other than the fact he is my sons dad, but i feel by the way hes talking that he thinks something else and i want to stress i not done anything to encourage him i done for him what i do for anyone. anyway my recent x has been in touch and wants to sort things out the last time this happened my x x wanted to tell my partner wed slept together ,untrue and turned aggressive in front of my son and since my x has an issue about this and i stuck

cos obviosly he feels there might be some truth in it and ive been questioned again and again and its been hell. i feel like i cant sort it out with my x because i know i will get it from both sides and my son will end up not seeing his dad cos of it. i feel so trapped and depressed and stuck , dont want to hurt anyone but feel i cant do what i want to do like living my life how others want me to live it .HELP

i was single for 2 years

after ending first relationship i was single for 2 years before meeting my recent partner

Answer 1

Addicts are unpredictable. They are not trustworrthy and tend to be manipulative. Wise up. You need to completely seperate yourself from him and protect your son from his irratic behavior. Cut all ties and allow visitation only when supervised by the department of Childrens services in your community. Good Luck

Answer 2

Honey, get a grip of yourself! You really need it badly.

First, you are a mother now. This makes all the difference in the world. Because you are mother, your priorities have radically changed. Your primary responsibility is to your son. His welfare is is number 1. As a mother, your own welfare takes a backseat to your son.

Remember, your son never chose to be brought into this world. You chose to. That is why you should make every possible means to give him a normal healthy life. Therefore, all your decisions will now revolve around him.

Whatever is good for your son. That should be the guidepost of any decision you make.

Besides, you mustn't feel stuck. There is a whole lifetime to live the fullest - with your son now. Find love in him as a mother. If you try taking that perspective, everything will seem worthwhile.

Answer 3

Your "xx" as you put it is a drug addict. What did you expect his behavior to be? If its not true don't pay attention to it. I think you did the right thing to help him alittle, you did that for your son's father and there is nothing wrong with helping him with alittle laundry and such.

If your "x" loves you enough to try again for a relationship then he is going to have to trust you. You don't have to prove anything to him, your word should be good enough.

Your choice in men is questionable, maybe you should get some counseling to see why you choose these men who cannot give you what you want.

Answer 4

listen...he made his bed so he must lay in it...you split for a very good reason....so don't go back and clean his house any more....tell him that he's to clean his act up or your son will not be visiting him, i would not like my child to go see his father if he lived in squalor....make due you don't do him any more favours...if he wants his place cleaning he can do it himself and if he had any thoughts about your son he's get his head together and make the effort...tell him you did his cleaning out of good faith and there's nothing happening between you and him....tell the xx that he better stop sh!t stirring about you going to bed with him, if this continues just cut him out of your and your sons life....don't feel intimidated by this loser...just jib him and tell him to get a life...if he is aggressive then don't go near him again...seems you've just done a full circle girl...stay away from him...and if your previous ex is understanding hen he'll take no notice to the other ex....just stay away from him....change your number and forget him...he's an ex for a reason....infact just stay single hun...you don't need this hassle...get rid of both of them...they sound like a right pair of time wasters....take care of your son and forget them 2....who needs the hassle?

Answer 5

Do not let your ex into your home. Keep your life private. tell your more recent ex everything. If he doesn't understand after that - is he really worth the effort. Tell your sons father, if he messes with things in your personal life, then he won't be seeing his son again. This may put things in perspective for him.

Answer 6

I think you are a prime candidate for having no relationships for a while. Your choice in men sucks. Thats a given. But the bottom line is...you need to work on you and change things so you don't keep making bad choices. PLus you need to focus on the child only... Do whats right for the child, then yourself.

Answer 7

I would stay away from your ex ex, maybe arrange for him to pick your son up from someone elses house, i.e. your mums, his mums, a friend, so you do not have to see him again, at least this way it is clear that you don't want anything to do with him.

With regards to ex, tell him again nothing happened and if he wants a future with you he is going to have to believe that, you do not have to justify yourself to anyone and you were single at time so if you did sleep with him so what.

If he wont believe you then no offence huni you can do better!

Answer 8

You should have your dating license revoked. Try being single a while!

Answer 9

keep away from druggies waste of time and space