Maid of Honor??

Question

My mother has always told me that my sister should be my maid of honor no matter what, because it is just what people do. Is this true? I do not even like my sister very much to be honest (you'd have to know her, so please don't think I am being rude?) I would really like for my best friend to be my MOH, but I know that my mom and sister would both be very upset. How do I explain this to my mother and sister??

Answer 1

A maid of honor should be a person whom loves you and wants you to have a great wedding. She should want to help you with the planning and should want to throw you parties. She should be the one who let's you cry over the napkin rings not being right, then never telling anyone you cried over something so stupid. She should be the person near tears as she gives a speech/toast at your wedding. She should a person that will make you smile when you look at pictures of your wedding 20 years from now.

If your sister is not that person, she should not be your maid of honor. I would make her a bridesmaid. Explain to your mom that you want to be true to yourself and this feels right to you.

Answer 2

First things first..your wedding means your rules. Secondly, you should have anyone you want be your Maid of Honor. This person is your right hand woman, the one you turn to for help and guidance from now until after the wedding. If you are not close (or especially like) your sister you are under NO obligation to make her your MOH let alone even a brides maid. This is NOT your mothers decision to make and although it may hurt their feelings, imagine how your best friend will feel. Just kindly explain to your mother that just because she is your sister does not mean you have to include her in that way. Tell her you are inviting your best friend to be MOH and that is the end of the discussion. If she gets mad she will eventually get over it. Its 2007 not 1907! Further more, I was in one of my brothers weddings and not the other. I am also only including one of my brothers in my wedding (and i also have a step sister who is not included). It all depends on who you are close to. These people are supposed to be your support group, and why would you seek support from people you aren't close with?
Good luck & I hope you make the right decision for you.

Answer 3

Your maid of honor should be your very best friend. If your sister does not fall into that category and you will not regret this decision later, choose your best friend. Nevertheless, if you want to keep everyone happy (your family in particular), I am sure that your best friend would understand. I think your maid of honor should be the individual that you feel closest to. I wouldn't want you to choose your sister who you don't like and have her sabotage your bridal shower or bachelorette party. Remember, your maid of honor will be the one planning those events for you. Also, if you and your sister aren't that close, she may not even want to be your MOH. Talk honestly to your mom, your sister, and your best friend about the situation. Then, trust your instincts.

Answer 4

My one friend had 3 maids of honor- her sister and her two best friends, so I guess having 2 could be an option? That way they're both happy. I would never pick my sister to be my MOH, we don't get along.

Answer 5

My Fiance and I just went through a similar situation. My Fiance decided that for her wedding that she wanted her best friend to be the MOH instead of one of her two sisters. over the past few years my Fiance has grown away from her two sister cause they have gone to different colleges. She ran into the same problem. Her mother and one of her sisters thought that her sister should be the MOH. My fiance sat down with the two of them (mother and sister) and told them that she wanted to have her best friend be the MOH. at first that did not go over well at all as you have probably figured but after about 1 month her mother came around and realized that it was her choice on who she chooses for the MOH. that is the same for you. you are getting married not them and it is your choice and who that you want to be your MOH. they will realize that. it might take some time but you should get what you want, not what they want. i hope that this helped. congratulations.

Answer 6

First of all--> CONGRATS!

I'm getting married as well...However in my case, it was easier, since my best friend is my oldest sister. Just so its clear though, i have THREE older sisters, i chose the one i was the CLOSEST to (since my sisters are my closest "girl friends"), it just happened to be that she is the oldest among us. I am really close with the second one as well, but not as long as with the first.

So what would i recommend?
Well, first of all, it's YOUR day...remember, not everyone will agree and be excited with each and every one of your decisions. You have to make a decision that you can live with.

There are reasons why you don't really want your sister to be the moh. I would suggest that you chose the person you know would feel right to you. A decision, that you can live with. Just ponder on which one you would regret more. And what your definition is of a Maid of honor, and who fits that description.

Answer 7

I know EXACTLY how you feel... I'm going through the same thing. When I told my friends and family who I wanted as my bridesmaids, my Mom jumped down my throat.

"You're not having your sister as your maid of honor? Why in the world wouldn't you want your sister up there with you?"

Plain and simple, all I told her was, "Mom... this is MY wedding and I will have who I want in it."

I know it's easier said than done - but to keep my sister's feelings from getting hurt, I still made her a bridesmaid. So... I don't know, I hope this helps.

Answer 8

I'm one of four sisters and we all used our best friends as MoH at our weddings. Our sisters were busy making sure the food tables and music, etc. were running smoothly. Mom and Dad could enjoy and socialize with the guests. Your wedding is a very special, expensive party, enjoy it and keep a lid on the nerves.

Answer 9

You know....I had a VERY similar situation.
My mom wanted to ask my sister to be my MOH...I did, out of respect...and I regret it to this day. My sister said NO!!!!
That wench..anyway, I should have asked my best friend from the beginning. The most important thing is that you are happy. Ask your best friend...explain calmly to your mom your decision. The reality is that she WILL get over it. You have more power than you realize. Not only is she mother of the bride, you also hold the golden key to most mother's hearts: grandchildren.
I'm so glad that I had my best friend as my MOH....it really brought us closer together...
good luck and congrats!

Answer 10

You're in a very difficult spot, but you have to consider that family should always come first, no matter what. How about compromising. Have them both be your Maids of Honor. Why not? I mean I've seen brides have men as MOH and grooms have girls as BM. I've seen mothers and fathers of the Bride/Groom taking that position, whynot have two Maids of Honor.