Ok, older men like my teen, and she likes them back.?

Question

She honestly comes to my face and tells me that she has an interest in guys even up to 35. She's turning 15 and she does get those wowie-wa-wa glares and I personally hate it. People think it's her clothing and the fact that she looks a bit older. But she cant throw on a baggy t-shirt with jeans and sneakers and it's the same. I know she's going to get hurt one day, and honestly I don't know what to do, I've considered counselling.

Also, she has a thing for firefighters and police officers. She has gotten caught following officers once.

Sorry I meant to say she can throw on a baggy t-shirt.

Answer 1

Fact from fiction, truth from diction. If you strip away all the horror stories(which there are plenty in anything you can point out)and get to just the logical facts. Maybe a clear picture springs forth. You as a mother are concerned because of incidents like these horror stories. And there are guys out there who would make merchandise of your daughter if they had the chance. But that's hardly everyone. Slight, very slight, but not everyone. I don't know her mental maturity but Ihave seen teens with more wisdom and intelligence than 20 somethings. But even though there is a risk, it is probably no different than flying. Everyone can point out a horrific jet crash, yet people are still flying in droves.

Her attraction to older men. I can't say she is exploiting the situation like another girl who was mentioned playing these guys for money. She may like tha fact that these guys have stability or more intelligence. Or, they are protectors in uniform. So say she is mentally off. If she said she wanted to go and couple up with another girl. No one here would dare open their mouths. What is seen as attractive to one, may not to another. Some guys like morbidly obese women. To most that is disgusting. But no one would not suggest a shrink(though they may really need one). Even if she wanted to be the 2nd half of a girl/girl union you would not dare drag het to a shink. She could be worse. She could have decided she wanted to be one of those "farm loving girls" with holved creatures, if you get that.

Someone getting in in her Victoria's. Even guys her own age will try that. Just a whole different way. And they may think it, but may not say it where you or her can hear it. She has to have her wits about her no matter what age she is with.

Something she will grow out of, or mature passed? Maybe. Or at least learn how to manage it to not get plyed herself. When I was her age it was all about the blondes. I grew pass that. The big boob thing too. When she is 18 she might be into race car driver or those who do extreme sports. You need to sit down with her and show her what signes to look for of those(at any age)that just see her as a piece of meat, and those who REALLY see her as a person.

Straight forward with out the BS. Go from there.

Answer 2

About five years ago, my best friend was in a similar situation.
She was the type of girl that you're describing. She'd get all the looks from the older guys, she'd bask in it too; absolutely loved it; flirted back and everything.
Her older sister was in the exact same situation as you are.
I was older than her at the time, but definitely didn't look it. Her mother wasn't in the picture then, but her sister had taken over that role.

The way it went was this: She looked at the whole thing as a huge game, and didn't care who got hurt along the way. She was involved with several much older men. She mostly used them for money. Later on though, the things she said she'd never do didn't matter anymore. She ended up with many of the men in dangerous, controlling sexual relationships.

The reason why I tell you this is because I felt as though I couldn't do anything for her, much as you probably do. She was a compulsive liar; especially to her older sister. The reason why she was able to keep all these men was that she NEVER told them her actual age. She was 15 and would get away with 20 - 21 easily.

Now, I'm not saying your daughter is going to these extremes, in fact I really honestly hope she isn't.

The only thing that ever worked was talking to her about it. Honestly talking. Her sister was open to her, never forced her to talk, just let her say what she wanted and responded accordingly with her own life experience. Try to develop some trust there, make sure she knows that your not only the mom in the situation, that you are on her side.

I hope all goes well for you, and that the situation never ends up where we did. Take care,
Raye

Answer 3

I take it her father isn't around? I was just like her. I will say that when I met my fiance I was 15 years old and he was 31. We're still together ten years later.

I was a little different though. Was taking care of myself by that time, mom was working all the time or asleep. He showed an interest in my school work and helping me become an adult when my own mother neglected that aspect of her role in my life.

Worked out well for us. You on other hand, need to explain to her what love is and why she needs to finish school first. But make her understand that it's not her choice in men that you find bothersome because that will only send her running, just tell her that there is plenty of time for that in the future and if the guys she likes really care for her they'll be there when she's ready.

Answer 4

You need to tell her the dangers associated with young girls and older men, and tell her the law. Also monitor what she does and where she goes. She doesn't have to get hurt if you learn to protect her and give her appropriate guidance. That's the job of a parent. Tell her that she has plenty of time to meet someone who will appreciate her and in the mean while she needs to groom her mind as well as her body so that she will be prepared for the right one and not end up with some loser, since there are plenty of predatory losers looking for young vulnerable girls to possibly ruin their future. Tell her to get an education and become someone special before she loses out on a better life, chasing boys that are not worth her time and effort.

Answer 5

coming from a girl who had DD size cups by the time she was 12 and who started dating older guys at age 9----GET HER IN COUNSELING AND WATCH HER CLOSELY----you don't want to over protect her by never letting her see her friends or by making her feel like she can't come to you when she screws up because she'll get in trouble but honestly I wish my mom had gotten me a counselor earlier on...my parents waited too long and I ended up moving out when I was 14, by then I'd been beaten, raped, and prostituted out by my "older boyfriends" and my parents never knew I even left the house! keep an eye on her and get her professional help immediately!

Answer 6

keep an eye on her, because girls that age, i know because i am one, like older guys. but guys that old are a little bit too old. one day she'll grow out of it. like when she's around mid-20s. because then, she'll be around guys like that, and will come to realize that you have to get to know the guy more, and she'll also be their age. you should be THAT worried now. but if she turns 30 and likes even older guys that could be potentially problematic. on the other hand, it's better having a pretty daughter than an ugly one.

Answer 7

well im 15 and my mom hates those stairs to, men arent even considerate of her now either we can be in a store or in the mall or walking down the street and guys still say and act how they want towards me. i dont like it so much, but i can understand how your daughter does. when i was younger i got made fun of and i wasnt to pretty, when i hit about 12 or 13 i got boobs i got rid of my face acne and from what my mom says i "blossomed" and all of the sudden i was getting all of this attention. i loved it at first, until i started to realize that those men act like that because there pigs not because there actually interested in me. there interested in a young pretty girl when more then half of them are already married. i started to think if they did that to my little sister how mad i would be and then i started to respect myself more after i found my boyfriend that is around my age and he liked me for me and wasnt a pig like the rest. your daughter needs to realize that these men are after her because shes young and innocent... i didnt realize it until things got serious i couldnt walk down the street with out guys stoping and telling me to get into there car... one of my friends got kid naped by one of those type of guys. she was raped repetedly by many many men. after that happened to her i opened my eyes finally. just talk to your daughter tell her she really will get hurt... if you would like any more advice you can always message me! i hope your daughter realizes things before she gets hurt, or worst. the best of luck to you!

Answer 8

Well maybe try to tone down her clothes or maybe it's her makeup. Maybe she's wearing a lot of heavy makeup and it ages her. If not, just try having a talk with her about your concerns.

Answer 9

##$%!>F word the clothes; make sure you put birth control in her orange juice - hormones in horny kids haven't changed since the last time i looked - please remember how YOU were the first time some pimply guy touched your boobs

Answer 10

sounds like she needs counseling fast!!!!!!!!!!I would be more worried about dead than hurt!