Okay, just celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary... still no ring?

Question

My husband and I celebrated our 3rd wedding anniversary in May. He still hasn't given me an engagement ring or a wedding ring! I think, personally, that this is a little ridiculous, and it's kinda starting to tick me off. I mean, it makes me feel pretty worthless, like I'm not even worth that! I've dropped so many hints and flat out told him that I want a ring! I've printed off pictures off of the internet and given them to him, and everything! Heck, I've had his children, take care of his home, and until recently, worked twelve hour shifts to help support our family. Doesn't that warrant something? It's kid of embarrasing when you go into a store with your kids, and when you go through the checkout line, the cashier sees my kids and automatically looks at my left hand in search of a wedding ring. My friends and family all ask about it too, and my friends all have gorgeous engagement / and/or wedding rings. I just feel like he thinks I'm worthless because of this? What to do?

I should add that he didn't propose either, but that's water under the bridge. He said that "he didn't know he was supposed to". What a line of crap is that? He says he doesn't think that a frivoulous ring signifies anything.

He DOES have a wedding ring (which I bought for him). It's white gold with engraved crosses on it with a small diamond set in the center of each cross.

Answer 1

Your husband is an asshole point blank. It's common knowledge that all woman dream about their engagement, wedding dress, and ring from the time we are little girls. To deny you that small part of your dream and not only that he should want you to have a ring to ward off any guys trying to hit on you. Get a credit card and charge it ASAP if you cant afford to buy it straight out. They have low monthly payments for him and you will have your ring. You both will be happy.

Answer 2

Get rid of the materialistic idea of comparing everyone's engagement rings and focus on the meaning (you emphasize how gorgeous they are versus the fact that they have a symbol. i know its easy these days to see rings as possessions/objects rather than the symbols they are intended as.) Not everyone has a big flashy engagement ring, but a simple band to signify your union is customary and you have every right to want one. the size of the diamond doesn't equal the commitment or closeness of the marriage.

Maybe approach him by saying that when you married him a flashy engagement ring is not something you cared about, but you would like to have an outward symbol of your marriage and/or you think it would be special if he wore one too. That you take pride in the fact and are honored to be married to him and want everyone in the world to see that you are happily taken. And buy him one too (and if he works a job where its dangerous to wear a ring, there are some i saw that are made of a different material that won't react if he is a welder, or machinist, etc)

If you focus on meaning and not lack, you will get a heck of a lot farther and it will also be sincere.

Answer 3

He should be totally, abysmally ashamed. Even if $$ is tight, there are nice rings that are reasonably priced. Your rings should have been a major priority BEFORE you were married. I don't mean to be too negative, but this deal sounds as though it could be one of some other things, or ways in which he may neglect you. You'll want to handle it carefully, but I think you should get his attention, sit him down and speak firmly and adamantly to him about how WRONG this is, how it makes you feel (like does he REALLY care how you feel about things?). Try to not get mad, and try to avoid too many accusatory "you this!" or "you that!". Then as calmly as possible, go straight out and buy yourself a ring. Don't break the bank, but be sure (nonchalantly) that his and your friends and family notice the ring, and admit to them you had to buy it for yourself. Be careful doing this; leave him plenty of room to save face! Then, maybe he'll open his eyes. He may honestly not realize the importance. Just don't burn any bridges - keep letting him know how much you love him, and don't do harm to your relationship - for the sake of your marriage and your children.

Answer 4

I am also approaching my third anniversary. Before our daughter was born (she's seven) we bought matching silver rings at a festival. We used those same rings when we were handfasted in 2004. I never received a big fancy engagement ring, sure it would have been nice, but what's most important is that I married my best friend. We just decided together that the time was right to get married.
The point is, are you a happy, communicative, loving couple? My suggestion is to tell him you would at least like to have matching bands and that you are getting one. Also, don't forget that the home and kids are a joint venture.

Answer 5

Did you marry a possible ring, or did you marry a great guy and have kids with him?

A ring is a ring is a ring.

I've known some people who went out and bought a ring for them to wear since the other half didn't get one for them.

Why didn't he get you a wedding ring? Did you ask him? What did he say?

You are married so I highly doubt he feels you are worthless.

Sit him down and talk to him about it.

Answer 6

Darling, maybe he is thinking that putting food on the table is a whole lot more important than a ring on your finger.
Or clothing on the kids or money to go to the doctor.

I mean a ring is a material thing...you have HIS HEART!

THAT SHOULD....be more important than showing off some stupid ring?

Let those people look, what is more important is the love you have for him and he for you!

I did not have one, until I gave my hubby a son...and then it was a mothers ring with our little boys name on it!

In the days of old, NO ONE wore a wedding band...most folks did not have the money!

LUCK N BLESSINGS

Answer 7

Honestly I believe you wanting the wrong things out of your relationship with your husband. I can understand wanting a ring because you might feel that he doesn't think you're worth a ring. However, you talked about your friends having gorgeous rings and what the cashier thinks of you. First, who cares what the cashier thinks, she is the one working at a grocery store for crying out lound. 2nd you should tell you're family its none of their business or make something up like "we think its a waste of money" or "we don't think we should have to show our love with material things" Now maybe you've asked your husband for a ring too many times and printed off too expensive rings. He might think that whatever he gets you, you won't be statisfied because you MIGHT be printing off $13,000 rings or whatever. You should sit him down and tell him how it makes you feel. And give him 6-8 months and if you still don't have a ring leave him.

Answer 8

Hmmm. You said you were married. And no ring was used in the ceremony? The only time I've heard of this is due to religious beliefs. Does he have such entiments? And I don't think a ring should ruin your relationhsip. You obviously love him considering you've had his kids and work to support your family. Why should a ring get in the way of that? After all, a diamond is just a rock. Love is irreplacable.

Answer 9

You've let WAY too much time pass. You shouldn't have let the engagement pass without a ring, and I've never heard of someone getting married without a ring. If I were you, I would just buy my own set, and give him the bill!

Answer 10

I seriously doubt he thinks your worthless,a lot of men are like that for some reason it goes way over their heads.If you really want the rings go out and buy them yourself and then thank him for them,I did that with my eternity ring my husband thought it was a great idea as he always picked rings that i hated.Well good luck in whatever you decide.