2007-06-29 15:05:06 · 9 answers · asked by EllieMae 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Weddings
While some people do give gifts, I don't think it's expected. The party is to celebrate the coming wedding, and to get both families and sets of friends together socially. My fiance's aunt gave us an engagement dinner so that I could get to know his cousins a little. We had a lovely dinner, and a great time. Most guests brought just their bubbly personalities, a few gave us cards (which I admit was nice, as I can keep them in a keepsake box) and only one brought a gift.
2007-06-30 05:21:21 · answer #1 · answered by Trivial One 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Over time the tradition of giving wedding gifts has transformed into something that can be high pressure for wedding guests who may or not have the budget to keep up with the several wedding events.
Here is a question our readers have posed in recent months.
“If attending a wedding do I really need to buy a gift?”
I am a firm believer that a wedding GIFT is just that, something given voluntarily without payment in return, as to show favor toward someone, honor an occasion, or make a gesture of assistance; present. Never to be a high pressure sales pitch from a greedy Bride or Groom. A gift should be un-expected and accepted wholeheartedly no matter what it is.
Once upon a time you would give a gift for the home, to help a couple of lesser means get established. Now in most cases the couples are already living together, has everything they need and buying them a blender would be redundant and unwanted.
So what do you do?
Here are some questions to ask yourself:
Relatives, what context is your relation to the Bride or Groom? If it is your sister or brother I think a gift is in order but if it is a third cousin you haven’t seen in ten years you might want to think about giving a small token or declining the invitation all together.
Co-workers, is this someone that you are close to and socialize outside of work? Then a gift is a good idea even if you decline the invitation to the wedding. If this is a co-worker that invited the entire office? A combined gift is an option in this case but still not an obligation.
Friend of the family, is this someone that you watched grow up, someone that as a child played with your children? I would say a gift is in order here if the relationship is still a close one, but if they moved away and have not kept in contact for an extended period of time then it is your option at that point.
In any case remember that a wedding gift is not mandatory, though the majority of wedding goers will want to bring a little something. Follow your heart and your wallet and never feel that it is an obligation otherwise there maybe resentment toward the Bride or Groom and that is never a good thing.
Another rule of thumb is that if there are multiple wedding functions such as engagement parties and bridal showers then only one gift is necessary. It is your choice as to when to give it.
2007-06-29 22:14:13 · answer #2 · answered by Sierra Bride 1 · 0⤊ 2⤋
A couple should have either an engagement party or a shower but not both. If they are only having one, then yes it is customary to bring a gift. If they are having both, i would give a gift at the shower but definitely at least a card & maybe a bottle of wine or something small at the engagement party.
Hope this helps!
2007-07-03 10:44:16 · answer #3 · answered by mikejustine 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
We had 50 people at our engagement party. About 10 people brought us gifts. It was extremely ackward opening them, because obviously people were like "crap, I should have brought a gift". A few other people sent us some money in the mail.
I personally think you should bring something really small to an engagement party. If they are registered, buy something from the registry. If they aren't registered yet, buy them something for the wedding: guest book, unity candles, etc. Or you can buy them like Bride and Groom hats, or shirts, etc.
2007-07-01 03:37:07 · answer #4 · answered by Alicia F 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No.
The only times gifts are expected are at showers.
It is never required to bring a gift to an engagement party or a wedding.
The engagement parties I've gone to, they've all unwrapped their gifts when they got back home. Especially since gifts are not required and they don't want others to feel bad.
2007-06-30 09:02:08 · answer #5 · answered by Terri 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i always do...something small, maybe like $20. photo album, book on weddings, subscription to wedding magazine, picture frame. or just bring a card and a bottle of wine.
2007-06-30 23:59:35 · answer #6 · answered by Chrissy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, but you could bring a card.
2007-06-30 08:40:08 · answer #7 · answered by Lydia 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
well it would be nice and it will show gladness for the person
2007-06-29 22:13:18 · answer #8 · answered by lilhallegrl 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No.
2007-06-29 22:25:02 · answer #9 · answered by Poppet 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋