What can I to expect about being an army wife?

Question

My fiance and I are about to get married. He has been in the army for five years. We've been together for six months and I don't know much about the army life. What can I expect? What are some advantages and disadvantages? I keep watching that new show Army Wives, but thats only making me more nervous! Any advice?

Answer 1

First of all shut off the TV, that show Army wives is a bunch of crap, lol. I've been an army wife for a long time now, we have 3 small children and he has been deployed numerous times.
Don't believe what you see on tv. Those shows are purely for entertainment and thats it. There is no reality to them.
2ndly, it depends a lot on his job and where you are stationed. Some MOS' will be a lot harder than others on marriage, and some are more like a typical day at the office.
Some bases are excellent, some are definitely far from excellent, lol.
Basically, just keep in mind this is his job. You signed up for hard times and good times. Sometimes will be better than others. It can be tough. But relax, its not at disciplines and tenuous as the tv will let on. You are still a civilian. His job can be tough, but you will have to be tougher. If you are the type of woman who needs somebody all the time, you are in for a hard life. But if you can be independent and are responsible for yourself then you will be fine.
The US Army wife is the toughest job in the Army.
Disadvantages: long hours, time away from home, dangerous jobs, lack of communication, lots of time alone.
Advantages: healthcare, supportive environment, a community like no other, the army will be your new family, numerous opportunities and an experience you will never forget. You will never know how strong you are until you are forced to find out.

Answer 2

Hey there! Welcome to the ranks! You are going to love it and hate it. And that is okay! Have a positive mind frame and any thing is possible!

For all the bad there are many great things. Yes, you'll move (I've moved a lot!) but you get to live in new places and a new house. And if you hate some place, give it 3 years and you get a new adventure! Yes, your hubby will be gone. But while he is gone you'll get to do your thing or as Oprah called it a "Marriage Sabatical." You will not be rich, but you'll never be poor. You'll always have $$ for food and your rent is paid. Who in the private sector has that kind of security? Your health care might get a bad rap, but it is free and if it is really bad you can always go out on the economy (of course you'll have to learn how to do this!).

You are going to have a learning curve, but as previous posters have said there are classes for you!!! Have your fiance take you on post to the Army Community Service. Ask specifically about the Army Family Team Building (AFTB) program. If you guys do the classes together he can earn promotion points! The classes will introduce you to the military life style and help you feel more in control of your life. You can also do the AFTB classes on line if you wanted to. The myarmylifetoo.com website can help you.

Being an Army wife is all about what you make it. If you are going to get a divorce it isn't because you are military. The Army might be a part of your life, but it is not your life. You make your life what it is. No need to be nervous! You are not the first nor will you be the last new Army wife. Ask your hubby to hook you up with a senior spouse. Be involved! The sad, lonely, hate the military, wife is the one who never gets involved or never educates herself.

Congrats on the upcoming wedding!!

Answer 3

Well it is similar to that show army wives but it's not entirely like that. Some of the disadvantages about being an army wife would be the job situation. If you don't want to have a career then it's not a bad gig but developing a strong career is difficult. In the army you move about every 3 years by the time you find a good job you have to leave. Another disadvantage is that you really have to be able to take care of yourself when your husband is gone. Army deployments last up to 15months with them maybe being able to come home for 2 weeks during that time. You have to develop a strong peer connections wherever you go because you best friend may be 2,000 miles away. But some of the advantages about being an army wife is the free health care, discounted dental insurance and free prescriptions. You'll find that a lot of the places you go such as restaurants and clothing stores do have military discounts and you'll find yourself asking for them. You also have the chance to live all over the world if you choose, this alone opens up a world of opportunity.

Answer 4

Take a deep breath! The show Army Wives, has some truth to it... but it is mainly for entertainment value. First of all the disadvantages all depend on his MOS, but overall...deployments suck! They happen to everyone, and being away from your hubby will not be fun. The Army likes to change their mind at the drop of the hat, so be VERY flexible. Nothing in the Army is ever set in stone, and so you have to be ready to accomodate whatever orders your fiance will get. You will also change jobs frequently, but you might like that, depending on how often you like changing up your routine. The pros are that you get to meet a lot of new people, and travel some. If your husband is stationed in Germany, then you will see Europe. One thing to remember is to keep busy during deployments. Pick up some classes at a near by college, or take up a new hobby or two...

A great website you might want to check out is

www.militaryspousesupport.net/boards

The women on that site are from all branches of the military, but offer a lot of support and insight for those new to the life of a military girlfriend/fiancee/wife

Good Luck!

Answer 5

Well; just remember that while you are married to him he still belongs to the Army and they WILL come first. BE FLEXIBLE!!!! Your plans will change a hundred time; "Hurry up and wait.." will be your new motto. Don't take him for granted....ever...nothing in life is guaranteed; but for Military wives (and husband's) you become intimately acquainted with the fact they may not come home when they deploy so don't waste time on trivial matters. Learn as much as you can about the Army and how it works; knowledge is power and the Military can be intimidating to someone who's never been around it before. There are AFTB (Army Family Team Building) classes that you can look into after you get married. Be independent; he won't be around for a LOT of things most "normal" families share together. I've given birth to two of our three kids alone; moved without him; traveled overseas with a toddler and new born by myself, and then there are the missed holiday's, anniversaries, ect.
Sounds overwhelming, I'm sure. But, there are good things! I grew up a Military brat and COULD NOT imagine my life any other way. The Military is a very close community and you make friends for life. When you see your husband walk through the door in his uniform...YUMMY!!!!!! :) Nothing like a man in uniform; let me tell you! Deployments are challenging; no doubt; but it can bring you and your spouse closer than ever if you've got a solid relationship to begin with.
Good luck and remember that you're stronger than you ever thought possible!

Answer 6

It is hard to tell you everything that you will face as an army wife. The feelings I feel are love, loyalty, sadness, anxiety, honor, and many more! Just know that there is nothing like being an army wife! You will have to be patient for the army makes you wait for everything! You will have to be loyal because your husband needs you more than anything! But most of all you will have to be strong, especially if your husband gets deployed. I recommend making friends with the other army wives who can undertand what you are going through. I met my best friend through our experiences of our husbands being deployed. She was the one I called when I heard of bad news, when I was lonely, when I was happy, and most of all when I just needed someone to talk to. Be loyal to your husband! He may be gone for a long period of time and in Iraq he is only thinking of getting home to you safely. It makes me sick to think of these women who are cheating on their husbands simply because they cannot wait on their husbands to return. Your husband will be risking his like for his country and the least he deserves is loyalty and faithfulness. The advantages of being an army wife are sometimes hard to remember, especially when you are without your husband. You will receive good medical benefits. The disadvantages are being without your husband and not being paid enough for your husabnd risking his life for his country. Soldiers do not get paid enough, but to them it is not about the money! And it will not be to you either. I to watch Army Wives and barely can wait until the next Sunday to see the new episode! Yes, it is just a TV show, but the relationships that the characters portray are very relatable. Also, just as in the show, husbands & wives do get shipped over seas, and people do experience difficulties when they get back. Just never forget to always support your husband and all of the other soldiers. And please do not forget these soldiers when they do return from war. Alot of veterans are forgotten. In reality, they are the ones that need our support the most! Once you become an army wife, you will have a very hard job! But, you will be the proudest wife ever! And when you here the National Anthem or see your soldier walking toward you for the first time in a year you will know right then that it is all worth it. Just as soldiers serve their country, so do army wives!!!

Answer 7

Look its an adjustment to get use to. Being a military wife is the hardest job in the world, but very prideful as well. You just have to take time to adjust, keep an open mind about situations and support your hubby. Don't let any FOOL put you down for it. If your in love with a military or civi man get married and be happy screw the rest. Deployments are hard to get use to get a support system ready. After the 1st one you will learn how to deal and what works for you. Good Luck !

Answer 8

It's nothing like the show. The main advice I have to say is be strong. And learn to be flexible. Nothing stays the same in the army, so don't get to comfortable. It's a very hard life style but it is totally worth it if you really love your man!

Answer 9

Buy a Camera. ( So he can watch his children grow up in Pictures) Learn to read well, ( Many lonely nights) Face the facts you will never have a lot of money. Military people never make much money. 20 hours a week or 100 hours a week the pay is the same. You will move every three years.....4 years if you are lucky. You may live in California today but next year you may be near the North Pole. You have no choice. 60% of the Military get divorced. The other 40% hate each other. Well, maybe 35% hate each other. The women are thought of as excess. You will always come in second best when it comes to the Army. Did I make myself clear about the 60% divorce rate?

Answer 10

Wow. Don't go watching the media's portrayal of military spouses. I've never watched it, but I imagine it's romanticized and exaggerated. There are both advantages and disadvatages as you mentioned. A steady paycheck, medical, dental, pharmacy trips(free prescriptions), shopping on post at commissary and PX(tax-free and also usually cheaper than off post). People living on post generally feel safer, and are amongst people that can understand what you will/are going through. Try to avoid the gossip squads though. There is a lot of affairs. divorce etc. Living on post, people also tend to get in your business more. That's why we live off post(to get away from it all, a little privacy). We get to escape the military world, if only for the moment. They also give a housing allowance if you do chose to live off post. It's supposed to be enough for all utilities, maintenance,etc.(on-post, they don't give you BAH, simplified-all covered.) Become active, maybe volunteer. Moving can be fun, seeing different places,etc. If you get involved, it will help if in a new and different place. They have job assistance, training on computer programs, and military spouse 101 classes(to help you get familiar with being a military spouse). Lending closet is where they let you temporarily borrow stuff when PCS(move to a new duty station)like kitchen stuff,etc. FRG(family readiness groups) are good ways to keep updated about what's going on in your husband's unit. They also have schools on post if you have children. I don't have any, so don't know much about that area. They have MWR(military welfare recreation, I think). They offer discounts to local activities, and other conviences. They usually have gyms, pools, movie theater, tracks, bowling allies, etc all on post. Depends on size of base I suppose. There is a wide abroad to choose from. Hmm...gave you so many positive things. Now, for the bad. My husband is gone alot, at work, training in field for weeks at a time, long hours, many weekends. He brings work home often(like computer junk,etc to work for sergeant). The unit already admits they'd be at lost to lose him. He likes his job, but they really wear him out, and don't give him enough credit. He can't just ask time any time he wants.He is simply seen as 'man hours' for the army. He puts up with a lot of crap on a day to day basis.It would be lovely to have more time together. They've been saying he'll deploy for a while(he does this year for sure now)There are a lot of rumors in the army. You can't really be sure until the last minute. Many times you might have to completely change your plans.I don't know what MOS your husband has, some are more time-demanding than other I guess. A lot depends also on the unit too. Many things to say really, but I already have a long posting here. Just overall, you need to be adaptable/flexible, supportive of your husband, hobbies outside of your husband, etc.It can be a great life if you can adapt well, be strong, etc..