Ok so there is this guy who has a really big crush on me. and he told me last night how he feels and last night he kept talking sexual to me. and saying all this stuff and was talking crap about my boyfriend. and here is the other part i have a boyfriend. and i love him very much. we plan to get married. i just want to stay friends with this other guy. and i even tell him i have a boyfriend. and he doesn't get it. and i don't understand why! and ever sense yesturday when we talked on the phone he keeps calling. and i don't know how i can get him to just be my friend and not talk sexual or dirty to me. i love my boyfriend and i don't want this other guy to mess things up.
SO please anything will help. but don't give me a silly answer.
2007-06-29 14:35:27 · 23 answers · asked by ♥Doll Face♥ 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
if he is sexually harassing you, you need to inform the police and get a restraining order on him. people can become stalkers so it is best to deal with this at an early stage.
2007-06-29 14:38:27 · answer #1 · answered by Christina V 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Hmmm...On the surface this would be a simple answer.
Simply tell him to stop! Tell him you love your boyfriend and you aren't interested in him in that way...and if he wants to continue to be your friend...to "Knock off the sex talk!"
But what concerns me is that you've told him about your boyfriend and he "Keeps calling...and won't stop."
This could possibly be the beginning of a more serious situation. He's beginning to show signs of "Stalker" behavior.
Have you told your boyfriend about this guy? Probably not...Because you don't want a fight on your behalf...but if he cannot take "No" for an answer...then you need to re-think just how badly you want this guy as a friend!
If he ever says anything that even remotely resembles a threat to you or your boyfriend...cut him off...call the police and issue a restraining order! Usually guys that can't take "NO" for an answer become obsessive to the point of "stalking"!
Good Luck to you !
2007-06-29 21:47:26 · answer #2 · answered by MACHNGUN 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
last night was probably his big push to get you to see his way of thinking.
alas. you didn't. from his perspective.
On the next call you should be polite but firm about what you want. And if necessary, you will lose him as a friend.
Indeed it is my guess that you have already lost him as a friend.
But this did not happen last night. It happened over time. He love/lusts for you .. and you don't want it .. not from him .. or at least not right now.
Maybe you and he can remain "friends" but remember he will probably continue to love you no matter what he actually says and this will be in the background of all the relationship going forward.
I am pretty sure you can resolve this yourself without getting others involved.
good luck
2007-06-29 23:16:53 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Sorry, but you cannot be "just friends" with a guy like that. He will always pursue a sexual relationship with you. You are going to have to tell him that you no longer will talk to him as long as he keeps this up. If he persists, follow up to your threat and cut off all contact with him. If he continues to harass you (because that is what this now is) you can file a police report against him. Make sure you document every time he calls you, what he says to you, and what you tell him in return. It will be hard, but if you want to keep your current boyfriend, ties will have to be severed.
2007-06-29 21:44:21 · answer #4 · answered by tigger 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Umm you need to tell your boyfriend and have him tell the guy to back off!....If you are really telling this guy that you are not interested in him and he really keeps trying then I'd say he has major issues and is obsessed with you...That's really scary and serious he could turn violent. You need to make it very clear you are not interested and stop talking to him all together...If he still wont stop then call the police and get a restraining order.
2007-06-29 22:08:05 · answer #5 · answered by Wicked_Angel25 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
IF you have a b/f, IF this guy isn't adhearing to your coming rite out & telling him to stop talking the way he is to you, why do you really need him period?! To me, he doesn't sound much like a friend. Friends do things to make you happy & not do things to upset you purposly. He is doing exactly what you asked him not to do. I would say if he does continue, tell him NOT to call anymore, you do not appreciate the way he is disrespecting your wishes. Who needs "friends" like that. Just refuse to talk to him, if he keeps calling you, you can always hang up! You can get rid of him just like you would a telemarketer...DO NOT CALL, if you do, I'll hang up on you. Do NOT accept unexceptable behavior from anyone. You're better than that, you have too much to loose if this guy continues to do what he's doing.
2007-06-29 21:43:55 · answer #6 · answered by Sue C 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have the answer already dear you want your boyfriend and not this creepy guy if he does not get the hint than ignore him. Hang the phone up when he calls , hide from him make sure he get it that you dont want him around. Honestly i think he is just thinking that you are faking it that you dont want him but still keep on listening to him without putting your foot down like no means no.
2007-06-29 21:41:35 · answer #7 · answered by soundfamiliar 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you told the guy to stop, and he didn't..... he's TRYING to mess things up for you and your boyfriend. Sounds like you just need to tell the guy to get lost! You really don't need to keep a friend like that if you want things to work with the man you love.
2007-06-29 21:39:56 · answer #8 · answered by crankyissues 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Remind your friend you have a boyfriend and tell him to show some respect for you by not talking dirty that you do not expect this kind of behavior from a friend... And if that doesnt work then I would suggest not taking his phone calls and it will be his lost... loosing a friend ....
2007-06-29 21:44:21 · answer #9 · answered by Martha W 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sit down and tell him how you feel. Tell him you want to be friends with him, but you have a boyfriend. Then explain how you want to marry your boyfriend and how serious your relationship is. If he truely is your friend he should understand. Its a hard decision but it seems to me if you had to chose between the two you would pick your boyfriend. You can even tell him that, so he understands how serious you are.
2007-06-29 21:42:41 · answer #10 · answered by POKEYMOKEY 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would tell the other guy that you are happy and that you don't appreciate him talking that way to you. tell him of your plans to get married to your boyfriend and that youns can stay friends, if he doesn't respect that then you need to just not talk to him anymore or else he will end up messing things up between you and your man.
2007-06-29 21:40:45 · answer #11 · answered by cabbagepatchgirl 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋