im 18/m. ive seen this girl for about 5 months. weve both been pretty happy until recently. a few weeks ago, she was saying that she would like to see me more on just the weekends because she is often very tired and wants to spend time with her family before she leaves to college. she also lives an hour away and works about 20 minutes away from me so it can be a hassle to see each other sometimes. However she wanted to talk everynight over the phone and text. i had no problem with it and thought it was a reasonable request. we were fine again.
a week ago she left to DC on a program which put her on a busy schedule (often the night would end around midnight). she would stay up late partying everynight till about 5. she called me twice, talked 2 me for 15 min total. this upset me a little.
when she came in town(i had to call her to find out she was in town) she says how she cant see me because she wants to spend time with her new friends. i was very upset. should i be?
2007-06-29 13:47:30 · 22 answers · asked by yahooanswers23 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
today i texted her "u know how a while ago u felt like u needed space? I was wondering, is that whats up again?"
R- "pretty much"
"so i have to know, did i do something that made you want space or are you generally just tired of me and want space because of that or some other reason?"
R- "im just sick of feeling like i need to give up what i want to do just so u wont get upset"
"i understand. i guess i just wish being with me was something u wanted to do. but i understand and im sorry for bothering you this morning but i had to get it off my mind. anyways, have a great day"
2007-06-29 13:52:40 · update #1
You want my opinion?
Well, lets look at the big picture. You two have spent 5 months together, and you were both happy together. Very recently, for a week, your girlfriend has been seeing her friends and been out partying, leaving you with little time to be together.
I understand where you're coming from. I wouldn't be too happy if my girlfriend did that to me (we've been going out 6 months). Still, think; you've been out for 5 months, why ruin it all over one week. I doubt your girlfriend is trying to hurt you. Patience is a virtue. School is out, and many like to party. Give her a week or two, and come back to us then with your problem.
Personally I wouldn't blow an otherwise happy relationship over a week where your girlfriend ignores you. I'm not saying that what she is doing is right. Speak with her. Contact her by the phone, or something, and let her know of the situation (she might be oblivious to your feelings, which in my opinion is cold). If she cares for you, she'll apologize and get her act together. If she's a loser, she'll tell you to bugger off.
Good luck!
[After Details]
Wow, you seem to be a really nice guy if what you're saying is true. What she said was really cold, in my opinion. Spending time with you is something she should want to do. That's why she's with you (or that is supposed to be the reason why she's with you). If your girlfriend doesn't appreciate being with you, then lose her.
From what you've said, it seems you're a really nice guy, and you deserve someone who is also nice. Your girlfriend does not seem to be the nicest person around... I don't really know what the full situation is like for you; what has happened in the past (in detail), or the relationship between to two of you, but it seems like she doesn't want you.
That's cold. I'd lose her.
Still, good luck!
2007-06-29 13:56:23 · answer #1 · answered by theVisionary 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow sounds like she is moving in a new direction..she is totally taking you for granted..and losing interest in you..best thing to do is let her go..you need to do what is best for you..have a talk with her and let her know how you feel and if she still cannot compromise or show that she still cares about the relationship then you need to let her go..all these things she tells you sound like excuses to me either that or she's just a little girl..and may even have someone on the side..anything's possible..and I just don't buy that excuse about her wanting to spend more time with her family what a crock I've never heard of such a lame excuse..if anything a girl who really loves her boyfriend will want to spend as much time as possible with him..best of luck to you
2007-06-29 14:06:39 · answer #2 · answered by Sweet Melissa 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Being upset will not change thing between you and her at all. So you should just let go and in stead of waiting around to call her and hear from her go out and do things with your friends. This way she will wonder where you are and what your doing and if she was a real gf she would be trying to spend all her time with you when she got back in town. Seems like her new friends are more important thatn your relationship. Kick her to the curb with her friends and find you someone who will want to be with you more than their friends.
2007-06-29 13:54:35 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes you have every right to be upset! It sounds like she is putting you on the back burn, but instead of her telling you the truth that 1.She either found someone else or 2. She does not want to be in a relationship any longer with you. I think that she is playing childish games with you I think you should move on because you don't deserve this type of treatment! Good luck, I wish you the very best!
2007-06-29 14:01:21 · answer #4 · answered by kind1 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my own experience at you guys age a serious relationship is soooooo hard to maintain, if I could do it all over again I wouldn't try to be in a relationship I would party until I was sick of it. Any who, it sounds like the relationship is dissolving so just see where it goes and get you some new friends too you guys may meet in the middle or move on who knows don't sweat it.
2007-06-29 13:55:10 · answer #5 · answered by Mrs. Butler ♥2 B♥ 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It seems as if you two are growing in different directions.
Perhaps you can let her know that you think she's already left the relationship so you will just be making it official.
It may be better to do it now, rather than to wait until she actually leaves for college.
No harm intended on either side; this is just what happens sometimes.
2007-06-29 13:51:36 · answer #6 · answered by nora22000 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You "should" feel exactly how you do feel. It seems to me that your girlfriend is reaching another stage in her life where her relationship with you isn't a primary interest. Tell her how you feel. Ask her what she wants. How does the thought of breaking up make you feel in your heart? It might be better for you (there's a lot of beautiful girls out there who would love a shot at you) to break up, or you could give her her space. And take advantage of the break.
2007-06-29 13:56:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Is this an exclusive relationship? You both are a bit young for a committed long term relationship. At your age playing the field would seem more logical-discuss it with her-see where her head is at over the level of commitment that is expected.
2007-06-29 13:55:36 · answer #8 · answered by PrivacyNowPlease! 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Ofcourse you have every righ to be upset.
But. I don't think you should jump over the ice and break up with her. Talk to her first. You might be able to do something about it like what you did before. Good Luck.
2007-06-29 13:51:18 · answer #9 · answered by helpinghand 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can understand why you feel like that . If your not the patying type and she it the is obviously a bad connection.
Tell her your not the type of guy who'll likes to party and you'd like her. But if she wants to act like a child then we should see other people.
The fact that you had to call her to see if she was back in town is obvious to me that she not intersided anymore.
2007-06-29 13:55:06 · answer #10 · answered by Jessica 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋