Vow renewal issues?

Question

When my husband and I first got married, we didn't have any money. In fact, my mom payed for the small ceremony we had and our next door neighbor supplied the reception (Mac 'n' cheese, bar-b-q smokeys and non-alcoholic champaign). None of our families, save my mother, could be there. So, we had an idea that, in a couple of years, we could renew our vows and basically have a big wedding for our families. My husband likes the idea, but there's just one problem. My mom, my husband and I are the only ones on both sides of the family who aren't Christian. We aren't going to have a pastor or crosses, in fact we'll probably hire a wiccan priestess. I already know that my dad and step mom were hoping to have me married in the Catholic church. I'm afraid that our relatives will be either too uncomfortable or simply won't come at all. What should I do?

Answer 1

I agree, do the party the way you want it done. If some people dont come, their loss, not yours. Its a shame that people cant just be supportive and happy for others, I have never understood why giving love has to come with strings attached to it. All I can say is that you arent alone, it happens to people everyday. You arent trying to convert anyone, you are just doing what makes you happy. And for that alone, you should have the ceremony and party that you have dreamt of. If someone cant get over it, too bad, so sad, they are also making a choice about their future rolls in your lives, that is something that THEY will have to live with.

Best of luck!

ETA: I just wanted to tell you that I am a Christian and I would have absolutely no problem attending your ceremony, like I said you arent trying to convert me and attending wouldnt mean that I was at all interested in converting, I would attend because I loved you and wanted to show you my support and happiness for you. Just because you attend a ceremony of a different faith or a ceremony of no faith at all doesnt mean that you have yourself abandoned your own faith, not attending because of this fact, in my opinion, is very un-christian.

Answer 2

Are you yourself Wiccan's? If not, then that is a bit extreme. And yes, those that are Christian will more than likely not come to your ceremony.

Why don't you opt for some other kind of officiant? There are many that are not Christian that could do your ceremony where everyone would be comfortable.
I realize this is your call but at least, give it some thought.

To find an officiant type into Yahoo your city, state & wedding officiant (no 's' on the end) You will have a few to choose from, usually on the 2nd page. The larger bridal sites seem to get top billing. If you do go to the bridal sites, please visit the site of someone you think you might like. Those bridal sites make vendors & officiants pay for your contact info so you may not hear back from someone you'd hoped.

Answer 3

*Is Catholic*

Given the fact that you said that neither you nor your husband are Catholic, you will not be able to marry in the Catholic Church at all. So forget about that plan.

My suggestion is that you just have a giant reception. Again, you are not Catholic and since everyone else is Catholic (and or Protestant) they would be off put by the wiccan ceremony.

REMEMBER: What is it that you want? People to have a good time and properly celebrate the fact that you two are a married couple. If you have a wiccan ceremony you will tick some people off. Instead focus on the celebration not the ritual.

Answer 4

Well, since there is conflict with the religious issues, to keep frictions down, I would do this: you can still have a grande ceremony of sorts... and u dont have to have a wiccan priestess or a preacher.... invite everyone you want, decorate and do everything as big as you wanted to to start with .. and since youre kinda doing this for the families to show your devotion and love to each other and the offical joining of your families... have yours and your husbands vows ready and write something from your heart and say these vows in front of everyone there... as an expression of your love for each other... and the families.... you can even get a HOST/HOSTESS to be in charge of the talking and introduction of you both so that the priestess /preacher would not even be an issue. Youre already married, so this ceremony is a symbol of your lives you already share!!

Answer 5

My sister did the identical factor you probably did however it wasn't given that she discovered that she used to be pregnant. Instead they plan on ready till they have got adequate cash and feature a significant moment marriage ceremony. She desired of path the get dressed, the rite and the reception. I feel that you will have a moment marriage ceremony given that your household wasn't there to aid you percentage the ones exact moments that you just had whilst you had been tying the knot the primary time. I additionally feel that given that you had a youngster that they of path will have to be inside the marriage ceremony get together as the hoop bearer or flower woman. It will aid tighten your knot even additional and exhibit others that that is for existence. Start making plans for a further September marriage ceremony or different seasonal marriage ceremony. I wish this helped you in besides.

Answer 6

just have a medevial wedding. don't mention the god or goddess. handfasting from my understanding originated from the celts so you could say you like those traditions and thought it would be different and fun. Themed wedding. so the blessed be in it would just flow if you had lots of thee and thou in your vows. talk to the priest or priestess about it before hand. maybe say god and goddess while facing away from the people. (facing the priestess) so while the cord was being tied to you two have a line to say like. I promise by the father god and mother goddess. or have the priestess help you think of something. tell your family you found someone who would perform the celtic tradition wedding. Leave out details. choose your wording delicatly that way your not lying just avoiding. that is my sugestion. I am a high priestess and I wouldn't mind performing a ceremony like that as long as i knew what was going on.

Answer 7

You have a few options.

You could have a Wiccan ceremony but I recommend against being skyclad. Your Catholic relatives definitely won't get that. Make sure that you have some options for bad weather because you don't want your guests ruining their clothes.

You could get married in a Catholic church where some of your relatives are members. God and Goddess go to all churches, you don't have to believe the actual dogma. I got married in a Catholic church because my husband had 12 years of school conditioning and he didn't think we'd be married if we didn't do it in a church. No big deal, I didn't believe any of the crap that they believe but it did get us legally married. Churches are good for that.

You could get married in a non-denominational church. They're pretty flexible and will pretty much let you do what you want.

Whatever you decide I'm sure it will be beautiful. good luck.

Answer 8

You said in the beginning that your husband and yourself decided to renew vows in a few years. That's for yall and no one else. Do what yall have always wanted and if they all come then wonderful and if not then it's still your day. One thing I've learned from being married and seeing the world differently than my family does is that you have to make decisions that are best for you and your hubby. If it's not your wedding their upset with it'll be something else. Everyone needs to know where their place is. Different strokes for different folks, that's what makes the world go around.

Answer 9

Ah, you have nothing to worry about, because this won't happen. A vow renewal IS NOT 'another' wedding at all! That's not what it is, nor is it its purpose. A renewal of vows is simply a ceremony held at a church or other location, usually followed by an 'anniversary party' at your home - to host family and close friends for dinner and drinks.
Your wedding was what it was, regardless of the circumstances. You do NOT plan another wedding!
-- now that solves your worries, right?

Answer 10

Invite who you want, word it on the invitation that it is going to be conducted by a Wiccan priestess, and whoever doesn't come, doesn't. It is better that they know up front than get up in the middle of the ceremony and leave or chew you out later.

As for your Dad and stepmom, please do everyone a favor and don't get married in the Catholic church if you are not sincere in Catholicism and doing it just to please a parent or to say you did it. I am Catholic and I can guarantee you that true Catholics hold the Mass sacred and it is a sin to take any vows made in a catholic church lightly. I respect others marriage vows but not ones made in the Catholic church just to please someone.