Should you really have to 'work' at a relationship? Shouldn't it come naturally?

Answer 1

There's a little give and take, but as far as real "work".... I'd say your right. Most of it should come really natural. Everyone says "you have to work to keep a marriage good"...... blah....blah....blah..... but I am a firm believer that a good relationship works for itself. It shouldn't be "hard work" to be with the person you love. It should come pretty easy.

Answer 2

No, it won't come naturally. If two people are very close and are actually being fully honest with each other, conflicts will arise. If the relationship is important, then the people will work to resolve the conflicts in such a way that both are satisfied. If the relationship seems effortless, then either they don't know each other well, don't care much about each other, or someone is biting back on things that are bothering them.

Answer 3

not always, it's different for everybody. Most of the time a friendship comes naturally but then you have to work to build a foundation for a relationship which you do by building trust, acceptance, honesty all that good stuff. A lot of it takes time. What should come naturally though is being able to understand your partner's wants and needs and wanting to fulfill them as best you can. Basically, love.

Answer 4

Awesome question!!! I have always felt that way.. well, felt that why should I "work" on relxs all the time, shouldnt they just come naturally. I totally feel for you. But the rel. i am in now i have been working at, by making compromises, watching what i say, stepping out of my comfort zone, etc. We don't fight as much anymore.

I think it's all about how you feel overall. WOuld you be better w/o them? Could you find someone like them or are they that special someone to you? I'm older (28) so I feel that I better work on a relx instead of dropping everyone when we fight or when things dont go well one day or week.

My g/f has also worked on things and that has made things better also.

It will always come to work in a relx - if u give up, its like anything else - if u give up, u lose out. Its not always gonna be great. But it should be great most of the time.....

Make sense?? I would love to hear more about your situation. Email me if u want.

Answer 5

Yes I believe so. Happy and healthy relationships have to be maintained, with both people contributing. The only thing that comes naturally is how well the couple "clicks"- but even then, you have to keep the sparks going if you want the relationship to last- so neither of you get tired or bored of eachother.

Answer 6

No good relationship comes naturally. Some relationships may start out natural, but eventually you will have to work some at it. Humans naturally get used to situations and then to keep the "magic" alive you have to work at the relationship

Answer 7

"natural" only lasts short term after infatuation and newness wear off it usually always is work. Once you and you partner get very comfortable with each other and let out the real people you are there is bound to be little things that get annoying and tiresome,That's truly natural

Answer 8

LOL!!!

Heck, I have to work at resolving issues with MYSELF from time to time, nevermind crossing that huge chasm between myself and another person!

The only way someone doesn't have to work at a relationship is if they hold all the power and force the other party to do ALL the work.

And that, my friend, makes for a resentful partner and a short relationship.

Answer 9

yes i think when it comes to certain parts of a relationship you should work at it, a bit of effort is all it takes for the person you love then yes put in the extra work. if you don't love the person and can't be bothered then leave it would be best for both people involved

Answer 10

Absolutely not! We're humans, we're all going to disagree with something at some point. Working through these disagreements are what being in a relationship are all about! It'd be nice if we didn't have to work, but then again...where's the fun?