so my grandmother just disowned me?

Question

i kid you not.

when i got married in august, she wrote on my wedding card "PLEASE find you a good church and start your life in Christ"

i ignored the card at the time, but today she asked me if I had taken her advice on the card, and when i very politely told her no, i don't believe in god and i have no plans of going to church but i appreciate her concern, she said "I'm sorry. I love you but I can no longer handle the fact that you aren't a servant of God. I can't stand to watch you throw your life away and pave your own path to hell"

then she hung up on me.

then about 15 minutes later, my grampa called and invited me out to lunch tomorrow and apparently my grandmother is not speaking to him because he's still associating with me. luckily my grandfather is a better human being than my grandmother

anyway, is anyone else's family like this? how do you deal?

Answer 1

My family is like this. Both sisters don't talk to me.

I don't have much to say to make you feel better - it's just a hard thing to get through. Try to remember it's HER problem and her issue. You were being truthful and kind in your response. Try to focus on the positive and I'm so happy that your grandpa isn't being a turd.

Answer 2

It is sad, but, didn't she knew that you are not a "church's" person even before you got married?

What did your parent say? Why dont you tell them, maybe they can help to ease the strain, (if you feel it as a strain for you).

Yr grandma means well, and she said what she thinks good for you, but she is not wise, she may always be such personality, wants things going her way.

You still young, not because of your grandma, and not for the sake of yr grandma, just for your own good life, talk to yr husband, how you both like to run your family, being a good christians, or whatever.
And whatever both of you choose, take the consequences.

Again, yr grandma means well, but she is not wise. Not easy to train an old lady.

Answer 3

I like your grandmother. Tell her she is not the only one praying for you.
Seriously, being a Christian has nothing to do with level of maturity. I'm sure she would tell me over coffee that she loves you, she's doing what she feels is best.
The question is how mature are you? Your grandpa is not a better human being; he just looks at things differently. I would agree with your grandmother, you're going to hell-but so is the rest of the world.
As Christians, I believe that we are COMMANDED by God to love one another in such a manner that even unbelievers notice our love and ask us how and why we are this way. We're supposed to be LOVING people into God's kingdom. Sometimes I'm not very good at this either. I'm human, y'know, and I get mad sometimes when people disagree with me. I'm right after all, if I could just get the rest of the world to see things MY way, the world would be a better place.
Ever feel that way? Are you human?
Sadly, the spiritual maturity of a lot of church members is kinda on about a 6th grade level.
I attend every Sunday, and I'm not bragging; I'm complaining.
Christians are supposed to be setting the example in the workplace; in our marriage relationships; and in society as citizens. I probably sound delirous to you who do not even believe, but today's church has almost as many problems as the rest of the world.
I'm very sorry for this pain in your life. I hope you enjoy lunch with grandpa. Are you mature enough to send grandma a card or short note telling her you still love her?
Yes, my family is like this-only opposite of your family-my family thinks I'm a religious nutcase. Wanna trade?
I deal with this by praying for them. Not preaching; you asked I answered. :)

Answer 4

I think there is someone in every family like this, I avoid all discussions of religion or politics just for that reason. It is a good bet that if someone in your family brought it up for debate, they have prepared for the moment and will have more ammo than you. I would just say I don't feel the need to discuss it right now and excuse myself from the conversation.

Answer 5

I understand the causes and conditions which make my family members who they are. I educate where I can and let the rest go. If they choose not to associate with me based on their own choices, after I've been respectful, etc. and they just don't agree, that's their choice. It's sad, but banging my head against the wall isn't fun anymore. It was a battle I'd never win and will never win in the future. Just be as patient as you can and let what you can roll off of your back.

_()_

Answer 6

Yes I did have a family like yours maybe even crueler, my mother has crossed over now,but my sister is still very much alive and does have no wish to contact me in any way,I have tried to resolve the issues between us on many occasions,my attempts have all been frugal,I still love my sister, But I cannot force her to do what I wish,Ifeel sorry for her that she cannot find it in her heart to let it go.I chose my path many years ago now ,I learnt to walk my own walk and talk my own talk ,despite what the rest of the world thought of me, This was a freedom from controll Issues for me and I learnt that life is too short to be bitter and angry at somone ,you only end up hurting yourself,and missing out on the good things that the universe has to offer,do not blame youself for your gran's behavior it has been her choice to miss out on you.Maybe Nan Needs to learn somthing here too about sacrifice,sounds to me like the fella upstairs is testing her faith.Stick with your pop he will help smooth things over, love is stronger, it will always win. love and light

Answer 7

Although I do believe in God, I don't agree at all with your grandmother's stance. She probably needs to understand that it's her life and it's your life. You didn't demand from her to give up on her beliefs so that you can be together. In my opinion, when you love somebody, nothing can keep you apart from that person... I do hope that she will understand that you are free to choose what to believe and what not to and that she won't stay away from you, something that she might regret later in her life... Good luck!

Answer 8

I'm sorry about your grandmother's behavior. It's actually rather ironic. I've never had to deal with anything like that in my family. Be glad that your grandfather is the way he is. He along with your grandmother's minister may be able to talk some sense into her.

Answer 9

Sometimes you just have to let time be the deciding factor. My sister disowned me in 1993 but we talk now: it was also for religious thing: I am Pagan and she Christian. In some faiths they say not to be around those not of their faith. It is sad but it is a fact that some religions actually tell people to alienate their family. Maybe she will come around.

Answer 10

My mother tried to run my life a long time ago. I gave her a choice. Either she can be in my life and not try to induce guilt because I didn't follow her religion OR she wouldn't be in my life. She chose the latter and has stayed out of my religious beliefs ever since.