My married friend, asked if we could go to a swingers club. He doesn't dare to ask his wife because she is too close minded. He said that we could go but we won't have sex with each other. We are pretty good friends but I am not sure if I should talk to his wife or just leave it alone, ignore it, and not mention it again. Your opinion?
2007-06-29 11:37:15 · 8 answers · asked by Deyla C 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
He is trying to cheat on his wife, even if it is not by having sex with you. He's using you to have sex with other women. He's probably been on swinger's websites trying to hook-up , so he's going to try swinger's parties for what he sees as easy, non-committal sex. He knows that it is difficult if not impossible to get into many swinger's clubs if you are a single male (or a married male posing as unmarried) so he is using you to become a "couple" for the evening so he can gain admittance. You my sweets, are being used.
Also, he is not telling his wife, so that is cheating. Cheating is anytime someone gains something with the deception and at the expense of someone else, which is exactly what he is doing.
Swinging is not about cheating, it is about sharing in the most intimate way possible. He is trying to cheat and most swingers will scorn him for doing so (as he has probably found-out from swinger's dating sites).
Don't go. You are doing nothing but help him cheat on his wife and he is using you to make it happen.
How do I know this? My wife and I have been swingers for several years and this isn't an uncommon occurrence, in fact it's a broken record. Even as recent as yesterday this same scenario played-out with a "single" guy that contacted us through a swinger's site. Luckily, we've gotten pretty good at sniffing these cheaters out. We are honest with each other, and don't cheat on each other and we will not help others do so. Most swingers feel the same way. Hence him trying to become a "couple" to gain admittance. He's not fooling anyone.
Should you talk to his wife? No. This is their own drama, not yours. All you'll do is piss-off him and her. You'll become the bad guy as they "shoot the messenger" so to speak. Their relationship is already self-destructing for one reason or many, it doesn't need your interference or help to quicken it's demise.
2007-06-30 03:20:23 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
So... he is asking you to help him commit Adultery (but not with you)...
I would ONLY consider doing this if she has given you BOTH the ok. It's one thing for her to allow him to go alone - but to bring a friend (and a female one at that) is something altogether different.
No matter how close the three of you might be - any of us can make foolish mistakes when they're caught up in a sexual frenzy.
What you need to do is ask him flat out if his wife knows that he will be doing this - and that she APPROVES of it. If so, then talk to her about it. IF he is doing this behind her back, then I would tell him (as a friend) that he is making a HUGE mistake - and that you are going to have nothing to do with it!
If that won't stop him, then you might have to confront his wife about it - but be VERY careful about doing this...
2007-06-29 12:13:14 · answer #2 · answered by kr_toronto 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he would ask you to go to a swingers club with him, there's no doubt in my mind that he has frequented the club often. Maybe his "regular" date to gain admission into the club was busy elsewhere...
Personally, I would tell the wife..... who cares if it ruins their marriage... he's already ruined her trust & broken his marriage vows... that's what's wrong with this world today, nobody knows how to stand by their commitments.
2007-06-29 12:18:49 · answer #3 · answered by ♥Aimee♥™ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
he probably is telling the truth. I mean he probably doesn't know how his wife would react and just does want somebody to go with him. and u will be surprised how much more comfortable a guy is with his female friend than guy friend. At worse, if he tries to hit on you, just say no. and don't tell his wife, it always sounds worse than it is.
2007-06-29 11:42:51 · answer #4 · answered by Sushanta S 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Don't do it, you will just open a can of worms that you don't want to open. I could ruin their marriage. Your best bet is to stay away. Get a new going out friend who is single.
2007-06-29 11:42:50 · answer #5 · answered by E-350 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If his wife is close minded about stuff like that i would leave that one unmentioned.
2007-06-29 11:42:45 · answer #6 · answered by tara9smith 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
mention it to his wife she'll handle it from there. Good Luck !!!!!!!
2007-06-29 11:46:24 · answer #7 · answered by Sarah L 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i read the first line , and the first thing that came to mind, dont do it. do not do not! bad idea, trust me!
2007-06-29 11:39:52 · answer #8 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋