Wedding registry for middle-aged couple: to have or not to have?

Question

My fiance and I are middle-aged, and fairly well off. Any blenders, ice cream makers, etc. I want, I've already bought. Although I'm moving next year and expect to buy a few new things. At my age and income level, I'm tempted to not have a registry. OTOH, I read on this board that people find it frustrating, and tacky (implying you're asking for cash) if you *don't* have a gift registry.

I've investigated honeymoon/travel registries. I like the idea, but they seem to be ripoffs as they help themselves to a hefty percentage. And I know about charitable donation registries.

Is it better for a middle-aged couple to have or not to have a registry? Any ideas will be appreciated.

Answer 1

I would say don't have a registry. If you're well-off and middle-aged, you don't need one. I know you aren't supposed to put anything about gifts on the invites, but maybe on the invites say something like "the only presents requested is your presence on this special day." Then people will know you aren't registered but also aren't asking for money.

If anyone asks what you want, maybe request a donation to a favourite charity in your name. A friend of mine did this for her third wedding (after so many marriages, people don't need to give gifts!) and it worked out really well.

Answer 2

Well, I can approach this two ways. I was a middle aged bride. I registered as well. Nothing major. I didn't go for the $200 a place setting china. I registered for nice every day dishes, new sheets and bedroom stuff like comforter and pillows. Towels, hand clothes, etc I too had everything and so did my fiance but it was nice to start out with new stuff just for us. I pretty much kept it simple. A few pieces of silver service and some cast iron but mostly everyday things to start our new life together.

Now on the other hand as professional wedding photographer I was intrigued with the honeymoon/travel registries. At my studio when I sign a wedding I give the bride registry cards that she can use. Friends and family buy the gift for what ever amount and I give them a certificate toward photography. The couple can apply to the balance of their wedding package or use for additional wedding pictures and products like parents albums, wall portraits and frames. Most of my brides enjoy this.

I think the travel or other vendor registry is a great idea.

Answer 3

My husband I met and married later in life than most people. We did a registry at Bed Bath & Beyond. We got alot of stuff, most of which we use even though we had complete homes before the wedding. At first it was hard to select things but the more I looked around the store, the more I found stuff I could use. I made sure and put things in a variety of price ranges because I knew my guests had varied income ranges. There are some small things I use just as much as the larger, expensive things.

If you do a registry at Target or other national chain store it's easy for people to choose gifts and for you to pick what you want. I highly recommend BB & B, their service was very good and the clerks even remembered how to pronounce my husband's name, which is foreign.

As a guest at weddings and baby showers, I really appreciated the person of honor having a registry. I didn't have to wonder what to buy, if it would match their decor, if they already got two other of the same thing, etc.

Answer 4

I say why not! Especially if it is a larger wedding. Often times believe it or not, it's harder to find a gift for couples in your circumstance because your guests are thinking "wow, what do I get them that they don't alread have? Or what's something I could get them that I know they would love?" And a registry is a good way to do it. Keeping in mind that those who really need some help will find out and ask if you're registered and then go from there. My mother in law gave me great advice, she said "even if you don't think they'll buy it for you, still pick it out cause it will give them a sense of your taste" And of course she was right. Plus, a registry is great for those things that you'd love to buy but would never blow money on (like monogramed pillow cases, or a monogramed welcome mat) Fun stuff like that.

And if you both frankly are not anticipating in a large guest amount but are having a more intimate wedding I would opt out of the registry all together. I hope this helps somewhat! Take care & congrats!

Answer 5

Well, stores such as Home Depot have registries--and I don't know about you, but as a homeowner, I probably spend WAY too much time and money in Home Depot/Lowe's type stores.

Personally, I think if I were getting married today, I'd ask for no gifts, period--for the reasons you stated--I have all the blenders, toasters, etc., I want. Or I'd do the charitable donation registry. I think that might be the best idea. But do whatever you want. Congrats on your upcoming wedding!

Answer 6

First off, congratulations!!!!!

My BF and I are considering getting married in the distant future (5-10 years, perhaps longer). At that point, we will have each lived alone in our own homes for over 15 years. At that stage of life, the LAST thing we would need is "one more thing to dust". We tease that we'll have a registry of what we're giving away, instead of what we want to get! I can see it now... a wedding with a yard sale reception!!

Seriously... I like the idea of a charitable donation registry.

Answer 7

Have. Registries are for guests' convenience so they don't have to spend hours figuring out what to get you...IF they want to get a gift. Most do.

Instead of a registry request charitable donations be made in your name to your favoirte charity if you feel you are too old for a registry. The amount donated is tax deductible and will save you at the end of the year. Use the refund to cover your moving costs or buy those few things.

Answer 8

I think you could go either way. There are always little things that I'm sure you could find to put on your registry. It doesn't always have to be about blenders, ice cream makers etc. It could be candles to have around the house, a new or extra set of nice towels, a clock or picure frame for your wedding pictures. Just put some small things on there and let them know that it isn't required.

Answer 9

I would say better to not have a wedding registry, and the honeymoon registries are tacky and rude for the guests.
If you truly don't want gifts, that is totally appropriate to say so. Your guests will know your circumstances.

Answer 10

Have registry of some sort. I loved the canoe idea. I also like the charity idea. If you really don't want anything say with your invitations. Send a card with the invitation with your favorite charity with all the needed details. You may receive checks or cash to donate or they have the option of sending the donation directly. Make your charity aware of the offer you suggest.