should parents be aloud to spank there kids and how far is to far ?

Question

i need to know what every one thinks on this matter.i think parents should be able to punsh thier childeren with a spanking,i don't think that parents should go to far,i think they should not use thier fist or an object, parients should use there open hand and give thier child 1 or 2 swats on there botom and thats it.let me know what you think.

Answer 1

There was a bill in CA to make it illeagal for a parent to spank a child under 3. I hated that bill and was glad it didnt pass. Not because I spank my own children but I dont think the government should be telling parents how to displine their children (obviously Im not talking about a parent who physically abuses a child). The only problem is that there should be a well defined line between what is ok and what has gone too far. I think many parents spank out of anger or frustration. I truly believe that if they left the room took a deep breath and counted to 10 they probably wont feel the need to spank but I would never tell someone that they shouldnt do it. I, like you, think that if the parent chooses to spank they need to calm down first, use an open hand, and only once or twice. Why would you use a belt or paddle? To me that is excessive. Contrary to what one person said above: Leaving marks or bruises is not the only way displine can be determined as abusive. I know a few parents who spank and they always give their children an option. They say.. If you do not stop such and such behavior you will be spanked, so you can either choose to stop or be spanked its your decision. That usually makes the child stop. I have never spanked my children, I have "popped" them once on the hand or bottom to get their attention if they are doing something dangerous and so far I have no displine problems with my 10 year old and 2 year old.

The way I look at it: If spanking was as effective as most think it is than you should only have to spank a child once and they wouldnt do the same thing again.. yet many parents have to spank multiple times for the same offense. Obviously it doesnt work as well as some think.

Also, I read a study that followed about 50 children from about 3 to 25. There was no correlation between them being spanked as a child and disipline problems when they are older. I was never spanked as a child and I never got in trouble on the other hand my husband was spanked and he got into tons of trouble as a teen.

Answer 2

>should parents be aloud to spank there kids
>and how far is to far ?

A LOUD spanking? Well, I think mostly whether is is LOUD or QUIET depends on the kid getting the spanking and on how much the spanking HURTS.

Obviously parents should not be ALLOWED to use their fists or such. Probably they should be allowed to use THEIR open hand and to give THEIR child 1 or two swats on THEIR bottom.

Though it sure does hurt at the time, if you're gonna spank a teen [presumingly they reluctantly accept such] a belt or hairbrush will make a very clear statement on their backside, but usually it would take considerably more than "1 or two" swats!! I think I can assure you teens don't want to be "spanked"; but most of us don't want to be grounded or have loss of privileges either.

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>How far is too far?
How much is too much?

Hopefully most would agree that if you "draw blood", that's too much.

Also, a good guide is never more than 40 licks (hopefully much less, even for teens!!).

Also, parents should NOT provoke their children to "wrath" -- any spanking should be corrective, instructive, etc. Excessive will intice WRATH; also, the manner in which it is given certainly can cause wrath!

Answer 3

An open hand slap on the butt or tops of the legs is fine-it certainly didn't do me any harm. The key: you don't do it too often or it won't have any affect on them when they misbehave.

Keep it as a real last resort only. Spanking isn't abuse, its discipline.

Abuse is drawn out spanking and hitting on a daily basis with no real reason behind it.

No the spanking I received as a child did not make me violent, or make me think it was ok to hit people. I just never let anyone walk all over me. Whether I was spanked or not, I would always have been the same person.

Being spanked did not make me a violent person. It just made me respect my parents and their final word.

Answer 4

This is always a touchy subject but my opinion is this.....A spanking should be a last resort and should be on the bottom only. There is a fine line between spanking and beating. A spanking shouldn't be given just because a parent is is having a abd day or angry.....It should be consequence because of a childs actions. I do believe in a spanking if it is needed but not with any objects other than open hand on bottom!

Answer 5

Yes parents should. I have said this before on other posts: "Sometimes, just sometimes, a child will not do something wrong or dangerous because they don't want a spanking."

Furthermore, there are as many studies to show that there is no difference in the aggression in adult and children who were or were not spanked. Most adults who are in prison were sexually abused.

In Canada, spanking is legal. How far is ok? One Dept of Family Services explained that as long as the effects (ie. reddness) are only transient in nature (24 hours), then the spanking was not abusive.

Answer 6

Yes just a spank on the bottom, not too hard. It's not being done to hurt them, but to teach them a lesson. It's definately abuse if it's on a child's face or if a fist or object is used. I saw an episode of Dr.Phil not too long ago and there was footage of a woman really hurting her 10 or 11 year old, kicking him and slapping him in the head and face. It was absolutely disgusting.

Answer 7

I think that first you should ask yourself if you are spanking because you are frustrated or mad at your child. Also, ask yourself if there are other alternatives that you could do to discipline your child instead of spanking. As a nanny I do not spank the children that I take care of, and chances are once I'm a parent, I will continue that. I've found other ways of disciplining and motivation very effective with children.

Answer 8

I think one decent swat with an open hand on the butt or the hand is absolutely ok. Spanking (true spanking, not hitting or beating) is an acceptable form of discipline! When you use fists or other objects (belts, wooden spoons, etc.), that's totally crossing the line into abuse. It's not meant to HURT but to get their attention that you're serious.

Answer 9

ever since I was a very small child I got a spanking if I deserved it and as long as the parents don't abuse it then there is nothing wrong. We always got it with a flat stick and we go tup to five swats at a time one to three depending on what we did and two for moving. I will tell you this it taught us what we could and couldn't do.

Answer 10

what I do not understand is
As a parent I am reponsible
to feed, cloths, take of any med need that might occured,
for his education, and every need that may occured during his years under my supervision
so why should I ask someone if I should spank my child or not
as long as I am not mentally abuse or using him as a punshing beg I think how I render punishment should be my choise and not the state or anyone else business
I am one of those lucky parent that my children knows that I mean business the first I stare in their direction
but if they did not i certainly will not have hesitate to use my hand or a belt on their bottoms