Who's responsibility is it to say "That hurts!" to an abuser and "Can you stop that?"?

Question

If the person who is being hurt does not say, how does the abuser learn?

From my experience with abuse, I have found it very worthwhile to tell my abuser that I am hurting and they usually change thereafter, often instantaneously if they can understand that there is a force that they can listen to, that they can imagine that is comprised of their abuser and a sense or healing that their abuser has in a better place. A man named Jesus called this entity, his Father in heaven. All of our abusers, as they can be imagined in heaven are healed more functional more loving unhateful and unhurtful from that place.....and we can imagine them there giving us the grace and thought to be kind!

Answer 1

The victim.

Answer 2

Does the abuser WANT to learn?

Most of the time, an abuser is apathic to other people's feelings - physical as well as emotional. That means he does not give a s|-|ite whether you're hurting or not. So whoever tells the abuser to stop doing that because it hurts, do you really think it matters?

**edit**

I very much doubt that was *real* abuse. I doubt a serial rapist would care if his victim is in pain. I also doubt that a wifebeater would stop beating his wife when she tells him to stop it.

Answer 3

telling an abuser that they are hurting you often has the effect of causing more pain. the best bet is to get yourself someone bigger than the abuser to say "cut it out....or else"

Yes I have been abused, and I have learned that fighting back causes fewer bruises but a longer duration of the beating, and also that if I stop moving, they will stop hitting.
I am a grown woman and have gotten a man with a pistol and a nightstick to stop the abusers. (he went to jail for 2 years)

Answer 4

A baseball bat upside the head of a abuser can do wonders.

Answer 5

It is the responsibility of the abused, or a responsible adult who witnesses the abuse.

Answer 6

Unless the abuser is a child, it should be easy to know when you are hurting someone...emotionally or physically....unless, possibly you are mentally handicapped.

Answer 7

Sometimes, the one being abused can't say anything.

Answer 8

I think proper etiquette would be from the one who punches the abuser in the face......

Answer 9

Everyone's.

Answer 10

What? What?