I have a two year old son. His father don't want to help me take care of him and he rarely sees him. I gave him an option that he could either (1) visit or pick his son up 2 times a month. I told him that I don't want his money. I just want him to spend time with his son. OR (2) I could go to child support and let them deal with this sitution.He told me to do what you got to do. Mind you he don't have a job and I really dont want to do this. But I've done everything in my power not to go down this road. So now he's mad and want to curse me out and act as if I didn't give him an option. But at this point I feel Like i'm forced. Do you think I'm wrong?
2007-06-29 10:04:26 · 6 answers · asked by aadams9783 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
no matter what the situation, you should not deny child support money. it is not for you, it is for your child's upkeep. if you do not need the money, i suggest putting it in the bank for college or to help him buy a car. he made the kid, he needs to help pay.
he should spend time with his child, i agree. but need to contribute financially as well.
2007-06-29 10:11:50 · answer #1 · answered by Christina V 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm not a male but I would like to comment. Remember this, ANYONE can make a child, but only a REAL MAN can be a father.
Sounds like your son's dad is very irresponsible, and is not MAN ENOUGH to take care of his responsibilites. You have been very nice to this guy and he does NOT deserve it. Why should you have consideration for him when he does not think about the pain he is causing your son. Every child wants both parents around and unfortunately his father doesn't care about that.
The child support issue, it's not whether he has a job or not, it's his responsibility as well!! Maybe he'll get his a** up and get a job if you do put child support on him, maybe even make him a little more responsible! Everyone knows how hard and expensive it is to raise a child. You need all the help you can get, it's not fair for you. It takes TWO to make a child so make him pay for his part!
Of course, most BOYS, not MEN, don't like to hear that stuff and they start criticizing and tallking but that's how BOYS "think." MEN take care of their responsibilities. They can't just go and make a child and think they can get away with doing nothing for them.
I strongly recommend CHILD SUPPORT. If he sees him or not, you can't force him, but do make him help you financially. That's the least he can do. Remember, he doesn't have any sympathy for your child, why should you?
Of course, every child needs both parents, but sometimes (depending on how the parents are) they are better off without them. A parent is supposed to love and care for their child.
2007-06-29 17:35:09 · answer #2 · answered by just me 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Unfortunately no matter what you do he is going to make up his own mind. If you go to child support (my sister did) it wont help much either because if he will not pay they can only put him in jail and that wont do any good either. It is also very unlikely that he would end up in jail to because there are so many dead beat guys like him the system is overloaded. I think the best thing to do is stop concentrating on him and just work on directing more of your attention toward your son. I have a 4 month old daughter and from my guy perspective I want to spend as much time as possible taking care of her. I also want to say I disagree with the previous comment about he might not need his dad. Every person needs their dad but we as people can adapt to being without a dad or mom. Though it is up to him to make that choice. If he has a good heart and cares about his son he will participate. If not just do the best you can without your sons dad and always let your son know that dad didnt leave because of him.
2007-06-29 17:27:24 · answer #3 · answered by Matt L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not a guy, but I would like to comment. Child support can not make him spend time with his son. I know you may want that, but you can not make a man do anything he doesn't want to do. Your son just might be better off with out him in his life. And I know some of the fellas will get mad at the comment, but hey. I didn't say your son doesn’t need a male figure, he just don't need his dad to be the figure. Evidently he can not teach him how to be a good man if he can not be one himself.
As far as pressing child support....if you need the money to take care of your son than do it because it is his responsibility to take care of his son.
Otherwise tell his dad that you are cutting the strings and do just that. Don't let him come in and out of your son life because in the long run, your son will be the one hurt.
2007-06-29 17:14:02 · answer #4 · answered by Miss. Tee98 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
of course not. a toddler is a lot of work. it is hard for you to raise him by yourself. you should go to a sheltering wings of child support. unless you have a really good job, it probably costs a lot to raise him too. when your son grows up ans starts asking about his dad, what are you going to do then? his dad sounds like a bum to me. you need some help. your completley right, he is his dad , he should help you guys out. it is nice of you not to take his money. dont let him take your son though if you are worried he will hurt him. my mom was a single mom so i sorta know what your going through. good luck. give me an email at richolleman@yahoo.com if you need some more help/advice or just someone to talk too. i would love to help you. i hope everything turns out ok for you guys,
rich
2007-06-29 19:26:56 · answer #5 · answered by rich 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no girl you are not wrong you should march down to child support and get your money you gave him a chance to get his act together what he did? nothing so now let him suffer the consciences all men do this they lay in the bed with you the next day don't even know you please don't forget about the child every child needs a father so keep fighting and never give up
2007-06-29 17:21:44 · answer #6 · answered by Bre 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋