This guy that I have known for over 10 years keeps asking me to hang out. He is really unattractive I mean very I wish I could post a picture but someone on here may know him. Anyway he is a very nice person but I don't want to go out with him and have people thinking we are a couple. I feel really bad about this but I just can't do it. I am not a little kid I am 26 years old and I feel like I am being so childish. What would you do ? Should I hang out with him or make up another excuse as I have been doing for years? Please help!!!!
2007-06-29 09:03:19 · 16 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
If you don't have romantic feelings for him you shouldn't feel obligated to date him. Going out on a date with him when you really aren't interested doesn't help him, it only gets his hopes even higher and makes him think he has a chance.
I had this problem with a friend of mine once. I don't think of it so much as being shallow - everyone has different tastes and you aren't obligated to find everyone attractive. Haven't you ever met someone who was really physically attractive but just didn't interest you in any other aspect? It works both ways.
2007-06-29 09:12:38 · answer #1 · answered by insomniac 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You said you are not a kid, then you should understand this. You have known him for many years, why have a problem with him now? He is a human being just like the rest of us. Everyone deserves kindness and respect. I do not understand why people can not just tell the truth and just let the other person know how they feel. It is best to just be honest and get it done and over with. Does it feel good for you to keep making excuses? You said he is a nice person. Remember that none of us had a choice in what we would look like when we were born. Would you like someone really good looking that you have a great deal of liking for to find faults with you and treat you like that? Just tell him that you just want to hang out as friends, nothing more and that means no holding of hands or anything else. I know people of all color, race, religion, etc. and I treat them all with the same respect. Remember one day your body will change too as you get older and you might end up in his shoe. What goes around, come around. Do the right thing and just tell him how you feel and just be his friend. No one will think you are a couple if you don't act like it.
2007-06-29 16:18:50 · answer #2 · answered by killerlegs 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
No i dont think your shallow. I do feel however, you should at least go out on an outing with him then that way you wont feel so guilty about it. The more lying and pushing off you do the worst its going to become....so why not just give him the chance to be in your presence in a different environment and also give yourself peace of being frustrated. Dont worry about what others say.... you already know who the two of you are. So why let that bother you. Its been 10 years. Come on give him a chance. Give yourself a chance to be at ease instead of putting up this fence because your scared. Try it. See what happens.
2007-06-29 16:13:43 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Shallow? Perhaps....but personally self absorbed and rude is probably a better description. If I didn't hang out with people because of how they look, I'd probably have almost no friends. It's the quality of a person that matters not their looks. How would you like people to avoid hanging out with you because you were too fate of too tall or too ugly. I have no idea what you look like on the outside, but I will say that inner beauty is what counts, and obviously you don't have any.
2007-06-29 16:10:44 · answer #4 · answered by westfield47130 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
No..I don't think your shallow, one of the first things that attracts us to other people is looks.
Not only that we all have our prefrences, and we all have our boundaries. If you aren't attracted..you aren't attracted...you can't help that. I think that if you go out with him, it woud only hurt his feelings later... he may take it as more than it really is.
Even though I'm sure that he is sweet, that's no reason to go out with him if you can't take him seriously. Looks may not be everything, but like I said we all have our boundaries.
2007-06-29 16:20:39 · answer #5 · answered by darknangelic77 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Haha, I'm like that too, I'm not proud of it or anything. But I think that if you really can't imagine yourself being with him then you shouldnt. Because if you go with him then he will think he has a chance, and later on when you regret it's gunna hurt him even more. You shouldnt go with just because you feeel bad about it because you would end up being unomfortable with him.
2007-06-29 16:10:31 · answer #6 · answered by =) 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If you don't have feelings for him don't hang out with him just keep your distance say hi when you see him if he calls tell him you are busy in the mean time try to avoid seeing him. you are not home. If he ask you out tell him straight out you are not interested.
2007-06-29 16:08:30 · answer #7 · answered by @NGEL B@BY 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
If he just wants to hang out as just friends, what is the problem? In my opinion, you are VERY shallow and you worry about what other people think way too much. If he is a friend, treat him like a friend...not like a piece of trash that isn't "worthy" of your presence. You the one who isn't worthy of him. Get over yourself.
2007-06-29 16:09:08 · answer #8 · answered by Jackie 6 · 4⤊ 2⤋
You can be friends with someone you do not find attractive. Just make it clear that that is all there is. There is no reason for you to be romantically involved if you are not attracted.
2007-06-29 16:11:42 · answer #9 · answered by astralpen 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
what you should do is keep it real with him and keep it real with yourself. let him know that you're not attracted to him in that way and if he can't understand how you feel then maybe you shouldn't hang out with him anymore.
2007-06-29 18:49:30 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋