What is your best jokes?

Answer 1

What do you call 2 girls in a closet? A Liquor cabinet!!

Answer 2

My favorite joke is a Christmas joke. It's the story of how the angel got on top of the Christmas tree.

Santa was making his rounds, and everything was going wrong. First the toys weren't ready on time; then Mrs. Clause hadn't ironed his clothes; and the reindeer weren't hitched. When he got to the first house, the roof was slick, and he almost fell off. As he started down the chimney, he got stuck. So, he pushed and pushed, until . . . wham! he came down right on top of his bag, splitting it open and throwing toys all over the place.

It was at this moment that a sweet little angel appeared and said, "Santa, what shall I do with this Christmas tree?"

And that is how the angel got on top of the Christmas tree.

Answer 3

ok so,
There are 5 people on an airplane
the president
the pilet
the smartest man in the world
and 2 cub scouts
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There are only 4 parachutes on this plane
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The pilet comes on the loudspeaker and says, "Warning warning! We're going down for a crsh landing!"
He takes a parachute and jumps out.
Then the president says, "I have to protect my country!"
So he takes one and jumps out!
Then the smartest man in the world says, "I have to share my knowlege!"
So he takes one and he jumps out.
Then one cub scout looks over at the other in a panicy state and says, "What are we gonna do? There's only one parachute left!!"
Then the other replys, "Don't worry, The smartest man in the world just jumped out with my back-pack!"
X D

Answer 4

A very shy guy goes into a bar and sees a beautiful woman sitting at the other end. After an hour of gathering up his courage he finally goes over to her and asks, tentatively, "Um, would you mind if I chatted with you for a while?" To which she responds by yelling, at the top of her lungs, "No, I won't sleep with you tonight!" By now, the entire bar is staring at them. Naturally, the guy is hopelessly and completely embarrassed and he slinks back to his table. After a few minutes, the woman walks over to him and apologizes. She smiles at him and says, "I'm sorry if I embarrassed you. You see, I'm a graduate student in psychology and I'm studying how people respond to embarrassing situations." To which he responds, at the top of his lungs, "What do you mean $200!"

Answer 5

An old cranky man walks into staples, as soon as he walks in an easy button goes off "That was easy", old man looks at easy button for a moment and says "your mom was easy last night"

Answer 6

a blond walked into best buy looking for a TV

She asked the store helper if her could show her a good TV to buy.
He said, I'm sorry miss i can't help you.
She asked, why not?
He said, because you are a blond.

so the blond went out and dyed her hair brown

she came back in and said to the same guy that she wanted to buy a TV
He said, I'm sorry miss i can't help you.
She asked, why not?
He said, because you are a blond.

she walked out again furiously and dyed her hair black
she came back in and asked once more if he could help her find a good TV.
He said, I'm sorry miss i can't help you.
She asked, why not?
He said, because you are a blond.
She finally said How do you know???
he said, because that's a microwave

Answer 7

Not sure if it's the best, but here goes nothing.
Why does the Viagra car always have its hood up?
I know, it's lame....

Answer 8

When I'm being funny, I use cheesy pickup lines.
Everyone knows Im joking around, and I always get a good laugh out of it.

For example, I'd go up to a friend and feel their forehead. I'd ask, "Are you feeling okay? Are you running a fever?"
Wait for them to say, "No, why?"
Then say, "Coz baby, you're looking pretty hot to me. "

or

"YOURE NAME MUST BE MICKEY BECAUSE YOU'RE SO FINE" :D

Answer 9

A beautiful, voluptuous woman goes to the gynecologist. The doctor takes one look at the woman and all of his professionalism goes out the window. He immediately asks her to undress. After she has disrobed, the doctor begins stroking her thigh.

"Do you know what I’m doing?" he asks.

"Yes," she replies. "You’re checking for any abrasions or abnormalities."

"That’s right," says the doctor. Emboldened, he then begins to fondle her breasts. "Do you know what I’m doing now?"

"You’re checking for any lumps or breast cancer," she replies.

"Correct," says the doctor. Deciding to go for broke, he mounts her and begins having sex with her. "Do you know what I’m doing now?"

"Yes," she says. "You’re getting herpes—which is what I came here about in the first place."


hope you likled it :O)

Answer 10

I may not be fred flintstone but i can make your bed rock baby.