how can I help my child deal with frustration?

Question

I have a 6yr old and she gets really frustrated with her every day ordeals. She stomps around, grunts, and gets overwhelmed. What can I do to help her deal with her frustrations in her life?

Answer 1

For my 7 year old charge I voice his frustrations for him and it helps him to hear his feelings validated. For instance he desperately wants to play with the dump truck the 4 year old has, he tries to rip it out of her hands, and of course I intervene and make him give it back. He has a lot of problems but this seems to work for him --I squat down next to him, put my arms around him and say " You really want to play with the dump truck, don't you? And sister has it? Hm what can we do? Let's ask her nicely." (she says no!)"Okay she said no, what else can we do? I know lets tell her that you'd like a turn next." (he tells her)"Good, now lets go play in the sand box"
It works for everything when we don't stop for cookies and he wants it I say " You really wanted a cookie. I know, its very disappointing when we don't get what we want isn't it?"
And when he's out of control hitting and screaming (yes he goes all out) screaming and yelling back does not work I hold him very close and tell him that its perfectly fine to be mad, but hurting others is NOT okay, EVER.
And with my 2 year old class we had a hitting outbreak so I teach them to jump up once and say I'm mad! And that usually gets them giggling and they forget.

Answer 2

A 6 year old shouldn't have THAT many frustrations. Make a list of the things that typically frustrate her and then find ways to change the situation. Kids this age are becoming more independent and maybe she needs to be making a few choices on her own. If she gets frustrated over clothing for example, let her choose her own clothing. Instead of telling her what she'll wear for the day, give her the option of picking from 2 or 3 outfits. The same goes with almost anything else, offer her an either or option.(food choices, toys, play time, tv, activities) Let her grow into her own independence. Let her make some choices in her own day to day life. Talk to her about how to handle being frustrated. Let her know that while stomping around might not be appropriate, she can certainly say "I'm mad" or "I'm angry" and talk to you about why. Give her the option of going to her room to cool off when she needs to. Eventually she'll learn how to deal with being frustrated.

Answer 3

Let her express her frustration, but don't let her give up. Give her the time and space to accomplish the things in her own way. And of course surround her with role models of people appropriately dealing with frustration.

When she is not experiencing frustration see if you can get her to talk about what is the most frustrating about the situation, sometimes it is feeling rushed or feeling like everyone is watching. If you can help reduce some of the other stressful factors she may be able to cope better.

Good Luck!

Answer 4

Take both her hands and look at her, try to have her mimic your breathing and explain to her that things aren't going to end because she couldn't finish it or that it took a long time to do. I know it's frustrating on your part, but it always helped me when my mom was able to calm down. Show her some shortcuts with certain tasks she has difficulty with. I'm ADHD so I know all too well about feeling overwhelmed.

Answer 5

1] teach her getting mad is OK, but the reaction to it must be acceptable - no nasty words or names, no hurting self or others, no damaging things [ slamming doors, throwing toys ]
2] offer her 'safe' choices -
a] between two different outfits to wear each day
b] between 2 different soups or sandwiches for lunch, between 2 different veggies to cook for dinner
c] to brush teeth before or after her bath [ not 'if' but 'when' ]
d] which hour a day she can watch TV, or play computer
e] long or short hair, and daily hairdo
f] let her shop with you for some things - I let my boys help me shop, and they are much better at coordinating and colors than my husband ever will be. Example: one new school outfit, her new backpack or lunch sack, etc.
3] give her cooking lessons over thesummer, and let her pick what to make before you go shopping - cookies, brownies, spaghetti, pizza, etc.

Answer 6

make her come up with solutions. She gets angry, and vents fine. But within 30 seconds you have to ask her "so what do you want to do about it?" (obviously help her with the answer).

Answer 7

lead by example