What are signs a guy is afraid of commitment?

Answer 1

Greetings,

Good question. I've heard it said a lot by women that men are afraid of a commitment. It seems to be held true as though it is expected of a man to have this fear. Then actions by men are seen as such, perhaps in part because of this belief about them in the first place.

In my male opinion, some women and some men are afraid of commitments. But I do not think it is fair to say that a man is afraid to make commitments as a male thing. Many men have made huge commitments in their lives and still get talked about by women as being unable or horrified to make them. I hear it in cases where a woman wants to move a relationship to some next level and the man is hesitant. Suddenly he is accused of being afraid to make commitments, and looked down on for it! I think the "fear of copmmitment" thing is usually an oversimplified explanation of affairs.

It feels to me that more often it is a matter of being careful about what commitments get made. Caution, not fear. I think men in general take commitments very seriously and are careful about jumping into them. This might be especially true if they feel pressured and even more so if they are called afraid. They might then feel bullied which will make them feel even more cautious, understandably.

In my opinion, many men feel that if a relationship is working well, why move it to the next level? Moving it to the next level almost always changes the way the whole thing works. Perhaps while women think a well working relationship should move to some next level, men in general might be more disposed to asking "why change it?" If there is fear in there, it more likely has to do with fear of losing what works, rather than with commiting to something.

Men do commit to things. Deciding to keep a relationship in a good working status is a commitment too.

So if it is true that what looks like male fear of commitment might more correctly be reasonable judgement over what and when commitments get made, whereas women might more likely believe that a well working relationship automatically means having to go to some new level, then we're back to your good question which is "how can you tell if a man is just afraid of commitment?"

I'd say look at the rest of his life. Is he afraid of commitments or not? Does he have a job? Does he have any hobbies? Does he have a pet career? Does he have dreams that last long? Does he follow his dreams? Does he do any things faithfully? In other words, does he show signs of commitment in his life or doesn't he? Is the matter at hand a case of fear of commitment or of not moving in the same direction and speed as you? Could it be equally said of you that you are afraid to let things as they are if they currently are working well? If he in fact makes commitments in his life then he's probably not afraid of them.

Best wishes,
Theron Q. Ramacharaka Panchadasi

Answer 2

1.He does not talk about commitment
2.He says nothing or changes the subject when you bring up commitment.
3.He has been with you for a long time..something like a year...and has not mentioned anything about commitment.

Answer 3

1. that he hasn't made a commitment 2 u yet, is a good start.
2. do the 2 of u speak about your relationship? that is a real good indicater as well.
3. have u met his family...an friends?

Answer 4

*doesnt bring you around his friends.
*doesnt call you when he says he would.
*only comes around when he feels like it, not when you feel like it.
*doesnt introduce you to his family.

Answer 5

if he has trust issues, or is flaky