I'm atheist and I'm only 14 is this bad ?

Question

because my family is huge christians and they would probally look down on me for my decision i know my grandparents would any way and now when im at a family get to gether and they pray i feel guilty because i dont believe in god !! should i feel guilty ?? becuase i really dont want to tell them right now . because its my right to keep my beliefs to my self but i dont want to lie to my family's face when we sit at the table and pray when i really dont mean it

Answer 1

Good for you!! You think for yourself and don't mindlessly believe in something because you are told to!

Answer 2

No, don't feel guilty. It's a natural advancement of the human mind. You have been able to see through the sham that is organized religion! Good for you!

No matter what you do, realize that you are not alone!

If your family is deeply religious, they will be saddened, angered and maybe even a bit offended. That's OK. Most people hold their beliefs very closely to their hearts.

Prayer is a funny thing... They pray to ask for forgiveness and thanks and maybe a few nice things here and there. They also believe that God has a Divine Plan and nothing can change this plan.... so I ask: Why do you try to get God to change it all the time?

I never understood religion but never grew up in a religious household. Many of my friends parents were religious.

Hang in there and if you want a way to test the waters, go to your school's library and check out a book on science other religions. Let it sit out somewhere and when asked about it, see how the conversation goes. If they fly off the handle and scream for hours, maybe it's a good thing to lie to them during prayers and wait it out a few more years... if they are really interested, let them know that you are just "trying to learn more about the world"...

They probably still won't understand but talking it through is a very important thing.

If you can, check out Carl Sagan's "Demon Haunted World"... great read about the ills of society falling back into a religious dark age while we still have all this wonderful science to really help us out.

Answer 3

You shouldn't feel bad for the way you feel, period.
My advice would be to be open to all points of view and you yourself explore all possibilities.
Many people don't believe in God, I can't understand this point of view because I am a Christian myself and not only do I believe, but I also try to further that belief through studying.
I've listened to many points of view (Christian, Athiest, other religions, scientific, historical, etc etc) with an open mind but i still always come back to the same thing.
God makes the most sense to me.
I encourage you to really start studying different points of view and seeking out the truth for yourself, remaining open of course to ALL possibilities.
Hey, if anything else, take some time everyday and say, "You know what God (or whoever) if you ARE real, then open my mind to You and Your existence."
The fact is, if you are truly seeking, you will find the truth.
And btw, if I'm wrong and if there is no God, it's not like you wasted any time because you did remain open.
Good luck, I wish you the best on your journey.
Kevin Lee

Answer 4

I don't see anything wrong with that. I come from a very religous catholic family and I am atheist. There is no need for you to feel guilty about anything. The one thing that christians or any deeply religous person does best is look down on people who don't agree with their beleifs and make them feel guilty. You make some good points in your question, I think you should adress this with your family.


There is this book by Richard Dawkins call The God Delusion, it is not an anti religion book but it puts things in perspective. I would suggest you check it out. I have added an adress to amazon.com so you can read reviews of the book.

http://www.amazon.com/God-Delusion-Richard-Dawkins/dp/0618680004/ref=pd_bbs_sr_1/103-7724018-5001409?ie=UTF8&s=books&qid=1183142821&sr=8-1

Answer 5

It's pretty normal to question (rebel) against your religious upbringing at your age. I would not commit myself to any one set of beliefs right now, if I were you. Explore all religions. Test them. All religions offer some kind of if, then promise. Try them out and see which one is right for you. For example, Christianity. Before you completely rule it out, prove it wrong. Have an open mind and try this prayer:
"God I have a hard time believing that you are there. I feel silly thinking that I might just be talking to thin air. But my family believes in you and I want to fit in with them. The Bible says that you will answer my prayers through the Holy Spirit. God, if you are really there, please send that burning feeling to my heart and let me know. Amen."

Answer 6

You don't have to tell them your religion, but you shouldn't change it! Faith is your own decision! I started reading up on Wicca when I was 11, and I dedicated myself a few years later. Anyway, I was a bit more lucky, considering my parents didn't raise us any religion. My mom and older sister got into Wicca for awhile, and my dad isn't atheist, but he doesn't have a specific religion. Faith is a personal choice; no one has the right to choose it for you! Don't feel guilty at all, if they are pushing another religion on you even after they find out your atheist, they should be the one's with guilt. (but right now they're clueless, so it's up to you if you want them to know). Anyway, when you pray, instead of praying to god, say something like, "I am very thankful for this food and for my wonderful friends and loving family". That way you are thankful, but not acknowledging god. You can still feel happy and lucky in life, even if you don't believe in a higher power. Best of Luck to you, *Tiger-lily Rain*

Answer 7

No, it's not wrong to be an atheist. If you can't believe you can't believe, right? But what is upsetting is the fact that you still let your family believe you're praying to God with them. It's obviously a serious moral issue and you can feel it. You really need to find a way to speak out to your parent's about the way you feel about Christianity. Maybe a younger relative would be easier to start off with.

Answer 8

It's natural at your age to question your beliefs, and religion in general.
You're feeling guilty not only because your previous religion is so ingrained in you and you secretly feel that your atheism is wrong, but because you feel you are disrespecting your family by not sharing their beliefs or participating in their rites.

It's okay to feel differently from your family, and it doesn't mean you love or respect them any less. Keep your beliefs to yourself, and simply respect their choices. When they pray, just bow your head and observe a moment of silence; it doesn't mean you're participating in their prayer, it just means you're respecting their desire to pray in a group.

At some point you will have to be honest with your family. Address each family member in a quiet, private moment, and let them know that you are currently exploring atheism, and don't feel you can call yourself a Christian. Ask them to respect your decision, just as you have shown respect to their decision.

Answer 9

I was a "huge Christian," but I think for myself. Congratulations on maturing enough to be able to think for yourself.

You are in an awkward situation. You are not free to choose your behaviors or your actions yet, but you can choose your thoughts. There are people I do not tell I am an atheist because I know they cannot understand it. I know them well, and it is easier for both of us not to tell them. I am not lying to them, I also do not say I am a Christian. You feel guilty because to you, at this moment, it is important. It really isn't. You won't change the shoes you wear because of it, you won't change doctors even if it were your choice, you won't jump off a bridge or engage in a socially self destructive act. It just means you are no longer part of a large, global group of people and that you have severed, mentally, an important tie with your parents.

Second, you are taking this way too seriously, probably because you are 14. Think of it like the Santa Claus story. If a three year old came to you and asked you to write a note to Santa, you would not sit there and correct them, you would write the letter. You wouldn't be lying or hypocritical. You are helping them with where they are at with what they need to survive in this world. When you write letters to Santa, that is no different than praying, except you need a stamp.

People who are religious believe a fairy story, and they are adults. Just like Santa and the Tooth Fairy are important to small children, God..or gods are important to adults.

Let me provide you with an example. Haile Selassie was the Emporer of Ethiopia in the 1930s. Due to some really weird happenings in Jamaica, a sizeable number of people in Jamaica came to believe that Haile Selassie was God..whome they call Jah. Of course His Majesty Haile Selassie was completely unaware of that, but when eventually informed by his loyal believers, he, being the wise king he was...didn't correct them. Being a King is a precarious thing and it happens from time to time they lose their head, or at least their crown. So, a wise king, when informed by sincere people that he is God incarnate, doesn't correct them because in the event of unemployment, being a God is a good alternate gig. The religion is called the Rastafarian religion. Halie Selassie is as important to Rasta parents out there as the executed carpenter of Nazerath is to Christian parents.

Religion happens, there are 4200 gods and goddesses at last count being worshipped at this very moment. It can be prudent to keep your beliefs to yourself until you are free as an adult to find your own expression. When you become an adult consider joining the Brights. It will help you find out who and what the world is.

Good luck and remember to put the money under the pillow, be surprised on Christmas morning and to pray. It makes other people happy and isn't that what being human is at least partially about.

Answer 10

Our Family is also very very religious......During family gathering we all pray and we have traditions like putting our prayers in a box and then burning them as we pray......Like I said very religious family! The teens aren't as religious we like to go out party and so on but we do participate and we do have faith in God, we go to church....and so on......Everyone has there on involvement in our family, everyone but my 15yr old brother. He became an atheist after really big problems we had in the family. He stopped having faith because of all of this, This was at age 13. To the day he is still like that, my family still tries to convince him that he is in the wrong, but it's impossible, You're family will probably do that. But just be respectful let them know and don't go off on them when they want you to participate, they'll just be trying to add some faith in you. Just accept it for them. We always have fights at gatherings cause my brother isn't respectful he yells and tells them to leave him alone, and of course family won't do that.

Faith is a really hard thing to have and keep, since you can see Him!

But listen and acknowledge it'll help the situation, but do tell them it'll make you feel better!

Answer 11

Well...it kinda depends on your family, I am 15 and have been an atheist for..3 years, I have an atheist friend who's family is hardcore christians, he finds it hard, they almost hate him for it, still getting inheritance I think though, course wouldn't be surprised if one of the terms of his grandparents will is that he has to go to church from now on.


But my family is mostly christian, my dad is lapse catholic and my mom is just...one of the peaceful christians.

anyway they don't seem to care much about me being an atheist, I don't pray at the table and they don't bring it up.

My advice, don't tell them to their face, just drop a few hints that your not into their religion, if they ask feel free to say what you want, but I wouldn't recommend walking in when their watching TV and saying I'm an atheist, too awkward.