Fighting 2 weeks before wedding!?

Question

Is it normal to say the most stupid and horrible things right before the wedding? Last night I pretty much told my fiancé that he was cheap. It was about my engagement ring. I'm NOT a material person, and ANY ring from HIM is worth all the money in the world, and I don’t care how much he spent.....but why did I start an argument about it?? I've been starting arguments for the last week or so. What is wrong with me??? I love him with all my heart but I'm hurting him with the way I have been acting. He may even cancel the wedding now, and I can't blame him. WHY am I doing this, and how can I take back the awful things I said?? It's COMPLETELY all MY fault. He's been nothing but good to me.

I did tell him this morning that I was sorry and that I've been a bitc#. He's still mad.

The reason for the fuss about the ring is because it has a flaw in it (a black dot).......and he wanted to go to the same jeweler to get the bands. I told him that the jeweler may have given him a bad deal.......and that’s when he said he knew about the flaw. I guess I lost my mind for a bit. I REALLY don't care about the flaw……all I want is HIM. I hurt him bad.

Answer 1

It's really very simple... You are a girl and your emotional outbursts are linked directly to your feelings of insecurity. The words you use like a knife are the only sources of power that you have right now so you do this to feel powerful and strong when in reality all it is doing is making you more insecure and self loathing. Don't worry about what you can't change, just focus on the positive and if these feelings come up again then the only way to handle them are through hardcore exercise. I mean really dig in and sweat. Long up hill bike rides and at least a few miles of running. The endorphines will make you so happy that you will never have a bad thought let alone a bad word to be said... Good Luck and congratulations!!! Even if he is mad just take the high road, this too shall pass is just a little something Jesus said, soo it may be... I dunno.... true!!

Answer 2

Professional Advice ---- You have the bridezilla syndrome. Some bride's get it and other's don't. Some have it through the entire phase of planning while others get it weeks before the wedding. Right now I think you are feeling very overwhelmed with the wedding, being married, and then to top it off your wedding is only 2 weeks away. It's scary for everyone. But, I think you really over did it when you told him he was cheap about the ring. Even though it's not how you really feel now, you still felt that way at the time when you yelled those things. I doubt that he is mad, I think he is more hurt by it than anything. You need to tell him exactally what your telling all of us.

Also, considering you did yell those things in anger. Do you think that maybe, just maybe, deep down you were wishing for something a little more expensive looking?? That maybe the ring you ahve is not the one you invisioned?? If so, I think you need to be honest with yourself. Even if your not materlistic you might be yelling at him because it's not the ring you expected to get or thought you would get. Really consider that the meaning behind the ring and not the ring itself. If deep down the ring itslef means nothing then that is what he needs to know.

Answer 3

Girl I have been married a year now (as of Sunday) and let me tell you the last 2 weeks before our wedding, it was hell!! I said things that I didn't even know could come out of my mouth. It was really the stress of the wedding talking which I knew, but he didn't. You gotta take a deep breath and step away from the wedding planning for a full 24 hours. I know it is hard, but it will do you and your finance' some good. (understand this is coming from a women who worked on the our wedding up untill 3 am the night of the wedding).
I know this sounds corny, but write your finance a "love" letter just explaining yourself, reminding him how much you love him and why, and apologizing helps too. Then take him to a quiet (romantic) place for just the 2 of you and give it to him and let him read it while your there. Talk about it just spend some 1 on 1 time alone together. If it is meant to be he will accept your apology and try to understand what stress you are under. He should love you no matter what kind of mood you are in. (which is why you are getting married anyways.) We can't always be bright rays of sunshine!!:) Good Luck!!:)

Answer 4

It is pretty common for this to happen before the wedding. Stress levels and anxiety tend to be elevated. I'm a wedding planner and I see this all the time. I think you should tell him exactly what you told us.. Communication in your marriage is going to be crutial to it lasting.. why not start practicing that now. :)
Tell him that it doesn't really matter to you about the ring.. that you don't know why you started the fight.. and that you must just be stressed out and are taking it out on him for some reason...Just be completely honest with him.

A good way to feel better might be for the two of you to go to a spa or something. Or just get away for the day to the beach or somewhere fun. Maybe surprise him and treat him to something. It'll help lower your stress levels and will likely make him get over what you had said.

Good luck and congrats..

Answer 5

I've done this before and I'm not even getting married right now. For me, it happens when I start getting nervous about the relationship or freaking out. It's not even an issue of not WANTING to be with him, but being so scared of the future, etc, and pushing him away. I think if you start feeling this way, you should leave the house and go for a walk. Explain to him how you're feeling so he understands that you aren't pushing him away or really upset about this stuff, but that you just need some time to breath because of nerves. Good luck!

Answer 6

first, APOLOGIZE right now. tell him exactly what you just typed to us.

second, weddings get everyone on edge. take a day where you two can be together and DON'T talk about the wedding. chill out with him, do whatever activity you did together before wedding planning came into the picture.

third, keep your cool, don't let things get to you, especially about the wedding. in the end, it doesn't REALLY matter if your dress gets torn and you have to wear jeans down the aisle, as long as he's at the end of it. the wedding is supposed to celebrate the love you have, don't let it ruin that.

Answer 7

Well, it doesn't hurt to say you're sorry.

If I were you I'd postpone this wedding until you know yourself better.

At least talk with Fiance about it - calmly, of course. Maybe you're just not ready to get married and all the stress is getting to you.

But before you say I Do - or your fiance says "I Don't" you two might be better off postponing the ceremony in order to get some premarital counseling

Answer 8

You are probably just stressed out. Apologize to him and assure him that you love the ring and you love him. Hopefully he'll understand that it is just the stress talking and he'll forgive you.

If he'll forgive you, try to keep this in mind for the next two weeks as well. Before you say anything, take a moment to think about whether you really mean it, or if you're just snapping at him because of the stress.

Answer 9

You're stressed. Sometimes stress causes use to take our frustrations out of those we love the most.

Step back from the situation, what triggered you to say those things. If there was a problem with the ring, could you have handled the conversation differently?

Collect your thoughts and determine what you really wanted to say. Then go to your Fi , say your sorry and then discuss the manner in a calm and collect way. If it's no longer and issue, tell him that.

Answer 10

Oh, this is so normal. You are under heavy pressure here and stressed probably to the max. Try to create space when you feel the need to fight or argue. Tell him sorry for previous fights and arguments. This is just so normal though.

Good luck and I hope your wedding is wonderful!