I was at Target with my husband, we picked up one item and were ready to check out. There was a lady with her child talking to another lady with her child. There was a cashier standing behind the ladies, waiting for one of them to be ready to check out. They ignored the cashier, as well as us. The cashier asked us if we were ready to check out. The lady snapped out of her conversation, turned around and said, "Me! I'm next!" Then looked our way and gave a fake "Sorry!" with a stupid smile. The cashier appologized, and told us we could check out at the photo center, which was nearby. My husband said, in a volume loud enough for everyone to hear, "You're not sorry, b*tch." And we went to the photo center to check out, the whole time, the lady and her friend stared at us like they wanted to jump us in the parking lot or something. She followed us outside, and started shouting at us. We just ignored her, got in our car and left. Why are people so crazy nowadays?
2007-06-29 07:15:54 · 21 answers · asked by Vakari 5 in Society & Culture ➔ Etiquette
I'm asking how you would handle this kind of person, not asking if what my husband did was right.
2007-06-29 08:09:58 · update #1
start by asking your husband...
2007-06-29 07:20:11 · answer #1 · answered by idahomike2 6 · 8⤊ 4⤋
First of all, since you only had one item, the polite thing to do would have been to let you guys go first. After all, they were in the middle of a conversation, and your checking out time wouldn't have amounted to squat. The lady didn't do this, and yes, she's rude, but your husband's reaction was equally as rude. I understand that when someone gives you a fake apology, your first instinct is to snap back just like your husband did, but it's not appropriate. The reason people are so crazy nowadays is that no one is taught how to treat people with respect anymore. Everyone now says that respect is earned, and maybe so, but you have to give it to get it.
2007-06-29 15:00:29 · answer #2 · answered by jmeinada 3 · 3⤊ 1⤋
I can see why you and your husband were annoyed, but his response didn't do anything except kick things up a notch.
Sometimes it's best to just let things slide. Less than five minutes later she was out of your life forever and you would have had a much more pleasant rest of the day without the additional abuse in the parking lot that the insult prompted.
Even if you feel the other person is in the wrong, it is never acceptable to use that kind of language. Be the bigger person and just keep it moving, and look at the bright side -- you didn't have to go home with her!
2007-06-29 14:31:08 · answer #3 · answered by Parrot Eyes 4 · 3⤊ 2⤋
Vakari, you never know whether someone who is annoying you in the way this woman was is (a) sane; (b) drunk; (c) high on something; (d) looking to start a fight with someone; (e) has a values system that requires that anyone who "disrespects" them be punished.
Your husband was wrong to do as he did, because if this woman was in any way unhinged, he was endangering you and himself.
I know that sometimes you feel that you just HAVE to say something to someone who is behaving like a jerk, or is completely oblivious to the way their actions are inconveniencing other people, but you really, truly do not know who is on a short fuse and might do something in retaliation that could cause a lot of grief. (FWIW, my father is mentally ill, bipolar, and when he was manic he could be a total @zzwhole to people. Anyone who acted towards him the way your husband acted towards this woman would have seen him come unglued in a heartbeat, with very unpleasant results.)
Besides, if the woman really was behaving like a jerk, then everyone reasonable who observed her was going to draw that conclusion anyway. All your husband did was convince everyone nearby that maybe he was a jerk, or unglued, too.
The satisfaction of telling off someone who seems to deserve it just doesn't outweigh the risk that the person will react violently to the telling-off. You only have to provoke the wrong person once for something really awful to happen, and regrets are always too late.
2007-06-29 15:20:59 · answer #4 · answered by Karin C 6 · 4⤊ 2⤋
I have to say yes, they were both rude and in the wrong.
Try to avoid rude people and go to another cashier.
Your husband yelled, and called the lady a profane name, and if security were there, I am sure they would have came, and escorted him out.
If the ladies yelled in the parking lot, it was BECAUSE OF YOUR HUSBAND starting it all.
If he was smart and a man, he could have refrained from saying anything. I hope he doesn't call you these names either.
2007-06-29 15:26:19 · answer #5 · answered by Born Valentine's Day 5 · 2⤊ 1⤋
I would prolly be a little p*ssed depending on what's going on that day... but for the most part I won't let it bother me.
Life is 10% action and
90% reaction...
would you give her, a total stranger, the power to mess up your day and affect your mood towards people around you?
I'm surprised you didn't say anything about
what your hubby did? in front of children too makes it worse.
In my book, that's unacceptable behavior...
and you're surprised that the lady was yelling at you guys???
your hubby started it in the first place. even if those ladies seemed insensitive what your hubby did was uncalled for.
that's not how gentlemen react to situations such as this.
I wonder how he treats you if he can do this to somone he doesn't know... familiarity breeds contempt...
2007-06-29 14:27:10 · answer #6 · answered by ~ *STAR* ~ 4 · 5⤊ 2⤋
Most people like this are oblivious to the fact that there are others in this world besides themselves. There is no real way to handle them because no matter what you say to them, rude or polite, they just do not get it. It seems like they might change their behavior if you bring it to their attention, but usually it does not.People like the ones you encountered are not going to respond to anything. I do not blame you guys for calling them out, but unfortunately these type of people are not going to change.
2007-06-29 20:12:24 · answer #7 · answered by crump_73mixerchef 2 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think your husband could be added to that crazy people list you got going. Who the heck says stuff like that...sounds like a scenerio that wasn't worth typing this question out and then both the yappy ladies and your hubby both over reacted.
The only non crazy person in this scenerio is the cashier.
2007-06-29 14:25:32 · answer #8 · answered by tankgirl97 2 · 8⤊ 1⤋
I hate to tell you this, but your husband overreacted. Really bad. The women who were talking were inconsiderate, but an apology IS an apology, even if you decide to judge that it is "fake" and her smile is "stupid." Your husband wasn't just inconsiderate, he was aggressively rude.
How would I have handled it? I probably would have given a "smile" back to her and made some kind of ironic comment like, "Sorry for interrupting you, I should've just gone ahead." But if my husband had blurted verbal abuse at her, I would have been the one apologizing for real... and I would've had a chat with him about maturity, self-control, and embarrassing me in public. Good grief.
I think you did the right thing to ignore her angry response on your way out.
2007-06-29 15:12:25 · answer #9 · answered by zilmag 7 · 5⤊ 2⤋
I would move on to another cashier or jump their queue. I won't altercate with them, it's not worth the heart attack.
2007-06-30 00:32:06 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
Your husband could have made the comment without adding b*tch. But since he did, HE is just as annoying and rude as the two women.
2007-06-29 14:56:40 · answer #11 · answered by Anonymous · 5⤊ 2⤋