Should a minister charge a fee for officiating a wedding?

Question

My husband says no way, he is doing what he has been called to do. I say, we have driven up to 500 miles round trip, and given many weekends for rehersals and weddings, and it would be nice to be paid at least a token amount.

what do you think?

Oh, please understand that we are the ones doing the officiating...not getting married...

Answer 1

My father is a minister, and we've thought about this a lot.

Essentially, what he thinks, is exactly what you said--consider the counseling sessions, rehersals, dinners, wedding, reception, etc. If it were a "normal" job, think how many hours you would have been paid for! Weddings are above and beyond the call of normal duty. You pay the florist, the caterers, etc. The minister should get something, even if it's just a small amount to pay for expenses (such as gas going to all these events).

My father did do a wedding for someone once he knew didn't have a lot of money. However, the couple purchased him an embroidered shirt with the name of our church on it. This was an extremely thoughtful gift, and he says it's worth more to him than a check would have been.

Personally, I think it's in good taste to write the minister a nice note thanking them for their services, and providing a check. I don't think a flat fee should be charged, but I think the couple should take the inititive and provide a gift or donation to the church.

So tell your husband that he's a great man for not expecting anything, but you're right in this case :)

Answer 2

I think it is really nice that your husband officiates for FREE, but it should be in his own back yard, and those ceremonies should be limited to "hardship" cases not everyone.

I do not know of a single minister or rabbi or priest that conducts wedding ceremonies without some type of compensation for him/her or their "house of worship."

In the Mid-atlantic area the fees run from $100 to $850 with the average being about $300.

Your husband is a professional, and he should be compensated for his services. A plumber does not work for FREE, a doctor does not work for FREE, a judge does not work for FREE, a hair dresser does not work for FREE and neither should your husband. Your telephone must be ringing constantly!!!! "I want a FREE ceremony."

In all honesty, it is not fair to the other officiants in your area that your husband is giving his services away. There is no doubt in my mind that many couples have cancelled their "other minister" who charged a fee in order to have a FREE ceremony.

If a Bride can afford to spend a $1000 or more for her gown and the couple can travel to Hawaii or the Bahamas or Europe on their honeymoon then they certainly should give something to you or your husband or his church for his service.

I strongly suggest your husband start charging an officiating FEE and most definitely a travel fee ($1 per mile, $2 per mile or a flat fee of $25 or $50). You just can't continue to do this for FREE because the price of gasoline is going up-up-up.

Answered by: A Certified wedding specialist / A Professional bridal consultant / A Wedding ceremony officiant

Answer 3

Standard procedure is that he either charges a fee for his services (he is a professional, after all!), or you provide him with a donation. Either way, you'll need to give him something. He could be sitting around watching the ball game on his day off, but instead he'll be spending it making your day special. The least you could to is to make a donation to his church.

Besides that, not all ministers work at churches, and not all ministers have made a vow of poverty! Some only do weddings, and if that is the case, then this is the only way they make money.

Answer 4

Yes most do charge a fee. You have to consider the time involved in it. If you really want to do it for free out of the kindness of your hearts then go right ahead. But it is common practice to charge a fee. The pastor at my church charges $30 For a wedding, which is not much. But does help compensate for his time (the money goes to the church, not the minister personally). The private licensed officiant at my wedding charged $80. But I have seen them charge between $0 (usually if you are a member of that pastor/minister's church) on up to around $200.

Answer 5

YES!! They are doing a JOB . Yes some charge too much.... but if you belong to a church, then you owe the CHURCH. If its a officiant that doesn't have a church, then this is a part of his JOB which requires PAY.

I'm a florist, and I don't give away my flowers and I was called to this career. My husband is an officiant. He puts hours & travel into meeting with couples to make sure they have the wording & vows they want in their ceremony. He's not expensive, but this is now way a FREE SERVICE.

Does your husband do his job for free?

Answer 6

You know, I think it is really up to the minister. However, I think that it is only right to give the minister something. Especially when a lot of travel is involved.

I was married 4 years ago, and I was told by the church that there would be a fee involved...I think it was somewhere around $200.

Bottom line, minister's have bills just like anyone else.

Answer 7

Yes, he should charge a fee. The bride and groom pay fees for flowers, DJ, band, caterers, etc so why not the minister? It appears he's working for free. While it is understandable that he feels he is performing a service, he is being taken advantage of, if no moneys are even donated to him for his services.

Does your husband have a brochure or website explaining what services he provides? Maybe in this brochure or website he can explain that he doesn't charge for performing the ceremony, but he needs to charge money for expenses that are coming out of his pocket such as gas money etc. BTW my minister didn't charge me, but my father made sure he was amply rewarded.

Answer 8

I don't know about sending a bill, but the couple you are marrying should at least be considerate enough to realize the expense you have put out. Unfortunately though many people don't see it like that and don't even give it a second thought...or just don't care and take advantage of everything they can get.

We paid our pastor $50, plus gave a monetary donation to the church and to the kitchen help. This was also 13 yrs. ago.

Answer 9

I say yes. Technically a minister was not called to marry people...his calling is to spread the gospel. I think that when it starts coming out of pockets then yes, it is reasonable to charge...even if it is just the trip fairs...(Gas, ..etc..).Especially 500 miles..WOW... I would defenitly charge a small fee, not to make a profit, just to break even.

Answer 10

Certainly, that is part of his livelyhood, and couples are expected to pay for his services, unless perhaps he is a close family friend and doing it as a gift, or a relative of bride or groom. If you are driving 500 miles round trip, the couple should pay your travel expenses. My wife's grandfather did our wedding, so we did not pay him, but generally you pay for minister services at weddings and funerals, especially if there are significant expenses incurred.