why do i feel im being prevented from living my life?, achieving my goals, being prevented from finding the?

Question

loving partner i want,the girl i want, im being prevented from moving away from england to the usa or canada, which i seriously want to do..
ive had bpd, have had it since 16, i await therapy, but i seriously feel theres a conspiracy against me, people are against me, and either 'they' the people, or something is keeping me here in britain, preventing me from bettering my life,& preventing me from moving away to where id like to move away to, like canada......i seriously, seriously do NOT, want to stay here in england.....i would like to work through my disorder which ive had half my adult life,& move away, somewhere distant like canada, achieve a little secure happy life for myself,& a loving girlfriend....but im severley depressed because all these dreams seem unachievable to me,& to far away to accomplish.. plus i feel, people, somebody is stopping me. ive been hurt alot by people throughout my life, & have suffered alot of mental trauma,so i dont trust anyone.im 30 now,never made

any friends in life, and im sat alone, lonely, in my flat every night, dreaming of a better life, achieving my goals, getting my needs met........but i fear i can never make it happen

Answer 1

you have to want to change.. if you sit and hope and do nothing to make the changes you need to do than you will be 100 still be were you are now.. how do i know i been there.. every one get hurt and don't use the i have bpd stuff.. man every one in the world has something that they say is keeping them form do what every.. you have to say this is what i want and this is what i going to do.. my wife she can not read or write she does so at a low 3rd grade level. but she wanted a commercial driver license and she has one why she memorize 500 question and answer so when she went to take the test she could answer the 20 on the test.. you have to cowboy up man and say what happen to me did and i am moving on.. you want a loving relationship you have to let go of the past and move on and grab on.. you want to move to Canada or USA well then what does it take for you to do that and let get with it.. don't sit and to the depression thing that a cop out.. you want some thing you go for it.. it not coming to you.. i do not know what mental trauma you went thought but man i went thought almost 4 yrs of Vietnam.. i was right there on the D M Z ZONE.. i saw many men die and then had to go pick up the piece.. ya i was messed up in the head and i wanted no part of the world.. and i tried real hard to make my wife leave me i tried drinking my way through it.. then one day i knew it was me taking back control or me leaving this earth for every.. i took back control and with the help of my wife i have a great life.. make up your mind man what do you want to look back and boo hoo over the past or get on with the hear and now and live life .. the past is gone man it is never coming back the future is what you make of it and today is what you have.. what is your day going to be like.??? get up and get moving on what you want..

Answer 2

Writing is definatly what you are good at, you've shown that even here. Its sad when people write unintelligebly, so a good writer does'nt oftne go unnoticed. People still read books! Imagine yourself being published! Being unhappy with the way you look is sometimes a necessary part of life. Some have it harder in some areas than others. You are very good at writing, when others are not so good. I agree with above said, you will have to come to terms with how you look. People naturally want to stare and make fun of those who look different, if for no other reason than because they have a hard time dealing with it in their own minds. Psychology is funny like that. People's reactions to things they can't quite wrap their minds around. It is what it is. I take care of a person that was born with a clef lip and pallet, and he lifts me up so much every time I see him. He always has a smile on his face, and he's ready to help out with whatever. We sing and laugh, and have the best time. I dont quite understand what his motivation in life is, but I know that he has found it at some point. You really need to spend some time with what makes you happy. Laughter is the best medicine.

Answer 3

Hiya

Im going to say things you may not like but from someone who understands ok x

You are responsible for yourself, to achieve your goals is down to you. If I can do it then you can too but that is going to take time and effort on your part. Rome wasnt built in a day.

Relationships are hard even for those of us without BPD and even with BPD we can achieve anything we want in life. Its about understanding ourselves, learning who we are, finding out what we want which you have already made your mind up on but other countries are no different in people. It has its ignorant few as well as the Uk but that doesnt make it your problem. No relationship is perfect nor is it built on rosey coloured glasses.

To fall for those in a different country can be because we need to get away from the roots of our problems. A fantasy if you like... but it also takes us as far away from our problems as possible where we are not known and can't be judged which to us can make it feel safer and non judgemental.

But BPD our natural human trait is still left with us and it is down to us to address our needs, our desires and why we want to escape.

You need to listen to yourself. You already have the desire, getting therapy is about understanding why you feel how you feel but either way, you are a good person.

You can achieve anything you want in life and BPD is not a reason to hold you back.

You are strong, why else do you think you are here asking this question?

You ask it because you need re-assurance.

That doesnt make it wrong, it makes you assertive to your own needs which many wont understand

Anyone with BPD can lead a normal and fullfilled existence in life and dont let anyone make you feel abnormal and dont let them tell you that you have a problem because each person is different.

Love will find you in the most unusual places and out hurt whilst it may seem harder isnt always a bad thing

Coope, stop judging yourselfso harshly, you done nothing wrong xxxxxxxx

T

Answer 4

I feel today that I have fell short of what I wanted but who do I blame, no one but me for I have had all the breaks but did little with them. You need to look inward to the small boy deep within you, the one you protect and see if he see happy. Now do think I am talking down to you for have a small boy within me and he needs lots of help.

Answer 5

sounds like there are many goals you would to meet. why not try this. first list them. they don't have to be in any kind of order. then try tackling them one at a time. keep telling yourself that nothing and nobody is keeping you in england except you. that you can accomplish anything you put your mind to. let go of the hurt you have been through in your life. you van do it. i know that you can because i did it myself. you name the abuse i went through at the hands of my loving family. it took my husband many years and several psychiatrist to help me learn to heal myself and learn to trust. i am 51. i finally started to learn to trust 6 years ago. i learned that hanging onto the past was the most harmful thing a person could do to themselves. now i am free to live my life the way i choose to live..

Answer 6

I have bipolar, and borderline personality disorder. I know what its like to feel like you but trust me once you get that therapy you real do need things will get better. take each day at a time and life will get better in time. good luck Lisa