i know my mom is cheating on my dad?

Question

my dad has been in jail for 2 1/2 years now and his sentence is 3 years...i have evidence that my mom is cheating on m dad...if i confront her she will yell at me and say it is adult buisiness...im alost an adult too...i should have the right to kno about my moms relastionships...wat are somethings i can say to her about it...

Answer 1

Her relationships are her business, but her marriage is part of your family, so it's part of your business, too.

Try talking to your mom calmly, and really listening to her, instead of yelling and accusing. Tell her that you understand she's lonely and ready for a new relationship, but that you're upset that she's not being honest with your dad, and you refuse to lie or cover up something you feel is wrong. encourage her to put her other relationships on hold until your father is released, and then she should discuss the marriage with him - whether it's time to renew her fidelity to him or end the marriage.

Answer 2

This is hard time for you no matter how you slice it.
I know it has probably been really hard to have your Dad in jail and your Mom having relationships with other men.
But, you have to remember something, you are the kid, no matter how old you are. And some things just aren't for you to say.
Besides, as you are going through different changes and feelings with all that has happened, so has your Mom.
She has probably been lonely, scared, angry and confused about her relationship with your father. And just because she's a Mom doesn't mean that she's not first a person. And she is probably just as lost as you are right now about things.
I am sure that this hasn't been easy for either of you.
If you feel you need to talk to your mother about this, then don't approach it as a judgemental thing. More like you know she is going through things too. And that having relationships with other men could only complicate things right now.
Unless, she intends on divorcing your father. And this too will have to be her decision.
Yes, you are the child, regardless of age, and it does matter what you think and feel.
However, it will come down to your parents and how they decide to deal with it.
I am saying this, but, in no condoning what your mom has done. But, I do see where she could have gotten lonely over the years, and resentful to your father for putting himself in a situation that took him away from the family. And people are just people, when they are alone, confused and scared, they turn to other people for support. Never intending that it go too far. Sometimes............well............it just does.
So cut your mom some slack, and at the same time, allow yourself to express your feelings about it. And maybe if you approach your Mom with this, in a loving way, she may just be super responsive to you about it, and maybe you too could talk it out.
Whatever happens, remember, she is still your Mom. And she is a person, just like you. And she is not perfect, just like you, and she loves you regardless. So do her the same favor in kind. Have a little understanding, and love. The rest will work itself out.
Good luck..................

Answer 3

Sorry for a lot of the really rude responses you have received.

I know you love your family both you mother & father and feel hurt. My suggestion is to not talk to her directly about the cheating but start a coversation about how she feels about you dad; ask her what she thinks will happen when he gets out of jail. You might be able to help your mom think about her actions.

I know you are in a very hard position and I am sorry.

Answer 4

For all the people that say it's none of your business, they need to shut their pie holes. When your mother had children she gave up a "private life." You don't need to get mad or threaten her. Just tell her that you want her to be happy, but that you don't think that sneakin around on your dad is setting a very good example. Remind her that as a parent her first responsibilty is to you and she needs to do what is in your best interest. If she refuses to stop, or tell your father then she is placing you in a bad situation as well, and possibly fracturing your relationship with your father forever.

Answer 5

It is just as hard to be an adult as it is to be a child. I am not saying it is right of your mom but, I might just say to her I hope you know what you are doing mom...because I don't want you to have regrets...........it is hard to know what to do. My dad cheated on my mom when I was little and I would see him out and about, one time my mom said she did not care what he did. That made it easier for us to deal with it. He seemed surprised later in life that we knew about his actions. I know I had very little respect for him over it. I have no idea why mom put up with it really. Good luck to you, I know it is hard on you.

Answer 6

why is your dad in jail for 3 years in the first place? yes, to a degree it is adult business, but this also affects you too.
i would just ask her what her plans are between her and your father. tell her you feel as if you have a right to know. does she still love your dad? just sit down with her and ask her if you can have a civil conversation with her about something that is really eating at you.
good luck sweetie.

Answer 7

Stay out of it. Don't get involved. If you were in her shoes, you would probably be doing the same. Don't tell your dad because you will be the one in the middle of it all. I know it might hurt to see your mom cheating on your dad, but that will all stop once he comes out. Also, why should your mom suffer because your dad did something stupid? And realistically, if it was the other way around, your dad would've cheated on her, ask anyone.

Answer 8

Hi....

if your mother is having an affair, it's certainly wrong, especially if she hasn't told your father.

human beings have needs and get lonely -- no, that's not an excuse to cheat; however if she doesn't want to wait for your father, it would be nice of her to let him know, that's for sure.

this is her business, not yours.

sometimes we need to let others take care of their own, personal issues and lives. even if we feel hurt or offended by what they are doing.

take care of yourself.... and try to be understanding. i'm sure this situation is difficult for your mother, as well as everyone else in the family.

i dont' know what else to say, but i hope things work out for the best. and that you get a lot of good advice here, hon.

Answer 9

of course its your business - its your parents! Show some respect to your father and tell him in a letter or when he gets out, he has a right to know. How do you think your father will feel if he finds out your mother is cheating on him and that you've known about it and not told him. To not tell is only to delay the inevitable and that just wastes your fathers time when he could be trying to fix the problem or move on.

Answer 10

It wouldn't be wrong to tell your mom you have concerns about her and what it may do to your family. But your dad will probably figure things out on his own without your revealing it.
Plus, you may be wrong. Things aren't always what they seem. Of course you're concerned but this is really your parents business. You should be patient and wait it out. Eventually the truth will come out, whatever it is.