Why is she doing this to me??

Question

My so called ex g/f broke up with me several months back, she knows that I am so much in love with her but she keeps tossing me around like I am nothing. We have been together for years. I know she has a new b/f, but she keeps calling me once in a while and tells me that we are meant to be or how much she cares for me.

Yesterday she came to my apartment and did the same thing and I just can't say no and I get my hopes up like we are going to get back together. When she left, a note fell out of her pocket onto the grass and she didn't know about it. I picked it up once she left and it was home listings dated the same day with the b/f's name on it.

I am so confused and hurt and I am feeling very hopeless right now. Each time I feel that I am moving on she does this to me and every time she goes back to him. Please help me, am feeling really hopeless.

Answer 1

You have fallen victim to being her doormat. And you dont even have to say it.

You are the generous nice guy who would do anything to make her happy yada yada...

Listen to me. You know it. I know it... but perhaps you need to be told:

She is completely 100% taking advantage of the fact that you are STILL THERE.

Get yourself OUT of this situation because all you are to her is a poor old sucker who will do whatever she wants because she KNOWS you are wrapped around her finger and will do whatever the hell she pleases.

You did the bravest thing a man could do and became vulnerable to a woman. And you are LETTING yourself get suckered into everything because somewhere in your mind you think that if thats all you can get, then thats what you'll take.

What you are forgetting, my dear boy, is that thats NOT all you can get, and you shouldnt take what you DONT DESERVE.

Believe me. I used to be the girl you are talking about. Guys like you dont win this war. She has already walked away from the battle.

YOu are wasting your time. And I'm sorry because you still have feelings for her.. but you wont progress in your love life if you let yourself drown in this hole.

Good luck. Be strong.

Answer 2

WOw I am really sorry you are going thru this emotional rollercoaster she is very selfish and self centered is what I think from what you say and obviously either just fn with your head or just flat out really torn between the two of you either way you deserve better and YOU have to convince yourself of that what she is doing is not only lowering your self esteem and confidence in yourself but she is cutting you open and then sewing you up then when you heal she is opening up the same wound its realllly a vicious cycle and I know how it feels trust me my bf ex" whatever he is now does this all the time its soo hurtful and we keep on holding on hoping they will come back and realize how much we belong together then they leave again we have to understand that we HAVE TO PUT AN END TO THIS before we drive ourselves insane and get even more sick about it they obviously do not take into consideration how much it hurts us and how bad we feel over their actions saying that my advice to you is no it is not easy and no you do not want to but for once think of YOU not her and how you wish it could and would work out you say she comes back to you and you cant say no to her? Sure you can you just do not want to but truth is that you have a choice either keep putting yourself thru it or do the right thing for yourself and your mental state and SAY NO when she comes running back to you when he upsets her she is not going to walk all over you like a door mat anymore you deserve better =)

Answer 3

i dont think that she is truly over you. A part of her is trying to hold onto you still while another part is trying to move on. It would be best for you to just stop accepting her calls and stop answering the door if she stops by. She is playing games with you. She doesn't want you to be with anyone else and because shes not completely over you so thats why she is doing all of this. Just let her go and take up a new hobby or start going on dates and meeting new people. It'll help. Good Luck!

Answer 4

Let her go! I know its hard since you guys were together for a long time but let me tell you something about women. She is only tagging you along because she is, like many other women, insecure. the only reason she leads you on to believing there is something still there is beacuse you are her back up. if something goes wrong in her current relationship, she knows that she can always fall back on you, because she obviously has a problem with being alone. Just let her go and let her know you cant be someones fall back plan. trust me, it'll be hard at first, but you will soon realize that it is for the best. Your only beating yourself up by waiting on her. do you really think she cares? no. she is looking at houses with another man. i dont mean to be harsh but i just want you to wake up and smell thhe coffee.

Answer 5

This chick is keeping you hanging as a "just in case" guy - meaning just in case it doesnt work with her new guy - she can crawl back to you - your her security blanket - don't let her do this anymore - i can tell it's breaking oyu r heart. Beielve it or not - alot of women do this - **** i'm guilty too - let me tell you what i did, me and my boyfriend were having problems. Well, i went out on a date with a guy behind his back, and got involved with him....i still cared for my original bff, and i was scared of a new life with this other guy what if he wasn't what i wanted, what he he treated me badly, at least i still have my boyfrined who knew me and i was comfortable with. Yes, i was a *****. But the truth of it is...i saw how badly it hurt him (even thoguht later i found out he was cheating anyway) but it di hurt him at the time, and i realized this is my life, i can't do this to him., i gotta let him go and i did. I've beenn maried to the other guy for 3 years and we have 3 kids togher and i couldn't be happier. Don't let her do this to you - she is not eh one, but you'll find her, i promise you that. Sorry about all this happenieng to you - you seem like a sweety - keep that chin up. Good luck!

Answer 6

Before she ruins you for other girls you need to get her out of your life. She is probably confused, but that is her problem, she can't have her cake and eat it too all the while you are getting your heart broken over and over.

Be a man, stand up to her and put your foot down. Also, you need to listen to Tom Leykis.

I promise, there is someone else that will respect you the way you deserve to be respected, right now, you're a door mat.

Answer 7

As a fellow man may I offer some advice:

GROW UP!

A man who takes counsel from his emotions leads a miserable life.

The amount to which you are devastated at the loss of your relationship partner is directly proportional to how much you have sold yourself out.

Take responsibility for the fact that you picked a lousy relationship partner and move on. Women are the ones who are supposed to fall into the devastated emotional morass - not you.

As long as you let her do this to you she will.

FP

Answer 8

U need to get on with your life. She is an ex because it didn't work out and all she is doing is playing games with your head. its the old she does not want you but does not want you to have anyone else for fear that if she decides to come back, you will open your arms to her. Start telling her when she calls that you have plans and start to date and watch her change he tune.

she has someone new and you are holding on to a dream that does not exist

Answer 9

dont let her, be the bigger person. change your number and locks ( in case she has a key) and do whatever it is you do. i know it sucks, but you cant be the rebound, even if the other guy is really the rebound if that makes sense to you. feeling hopeless will just slow down the healing process so grow a plant or get a dog and focus your attention elsewhere

Answer 10

She's only doing this to you because you let her!! Stop answering her phone calls (use caller ID or screen all calls) and do not answer the door when she comes over. This will stop her from playing her games, and allow you to move on. You need to move on!! Someone who really loves you would not play games with you- she would be with you!

You need to move on now!!