My seven year old is very well adjusted, and I try to keep her somewhat distant from my family. My family is very religous and fearful of the world (even if you spill water on the floor it is rather a panic, because you could slip and fall and end up in the hospital). Everything they do is from fear of something bad happening. They see everything as right and wrong. I am a single mom, so obviously I am in the wrong and my kids dont' have a 'proper' life. My auntie is the best of the bunch and the least judgemental and wants my daughter to come for a sleepover with her daughter. Her daughter is about 3 years older. BUT her daughter is very self righteous and very into the religion of what is right and wrong. I dont' like having her in my house because she labels us wrong at 11 years old! I don't want my daughter going, even though the break would be nice. How do I polietly decline?
2007-06-29 04:19:13 · 12 answers · asked by Anonymous in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Parenting
she has had sleepovers there in the past. But now that I am keeping her distant from my family.. I am going backwards here.
2007-06-29 04:27:05 · update #1
Talk to your daughter and tell her that you had originally made plans for a movie and that you wanted to spend time w/ her. Then you can both tell your aunt that plans had already been made. Good Luck!
2007-06-29 06:48:35 · answer #1 · answered by Adri 4 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Here's a few options:
1. Lie and say that your daughter is on punishment.
2. Accept the invitation and offer some fun things for the kids to do all night to take their mind off of any religious persecution (like a dance party game).
3. Tell the truth which may leave your relative offended but at least she'll know and at least your daughter would not have to spend the night there.
I consider myself religious as well, but not to the extent of judging others and making them feel bad. At some point, your family has to know how you feel. It's your family so you shouldn't have to walk on egg shells around them. Especially when it comes to your child and how the two of you are treated. All in all, I would hate for your daughter to be isolated from your family because your relatives don't know how to loosen up and let kids be kids.
2007-06-29 04:33:46 · answer #2 · answered by wrtrchk 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can respect your decision to not want her to go. Just let your aunt know that your daughter has prior plans, or "No, thank you." That works wonders.
In raising your seven year old, keep in mind she will get 98% of your raising her. It is a nice break to have her leave for a night and have time to yourself. She should not be "sheltered" (and I am NOT saying you are doing that) and be giving some opportunities to experience other things. You can talk with her before she goes and when she comes home about the differences, which doesn't make any one person worse or better than another. And perhaps your daughter's view of the world can help aunt's daughter to see things different as well.
Perhaps after a couple of more years, she will be ready and willing to sleep over with her, and you will feel more comfortable with it. Believe me, it took me 3 years to allow my daughters to spend a week with my dad and stepmom (my stepmom is crazy and just mean...at least to me). But they enjoy the weeks now and I am grateful I am giving them the chance to spend some time with a different perspective. I know I have raised them well, and whatever my stepmom throws at them, they take with a grain of salt, and we discuss it.
2007-06-29 04:31:21 · answer #3 · answered by intewonfan 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
If you don't feel comfortable with your daughter having a sleepover with anyone in your family than don't agree to it. You'll just worry and freak the whole time she's gone and it won't be worth it. It won't feel like you are getting a break for an evening if you spend it worrying your daughter is being preached to. You should just tell your aunt that you don't allow her to have sleep overs. That's it, you are her mother and it shouldn't be questioned b/c what you say is what goes. Even if she's had sleepovers before you are entitled to change your mind about permission to have them. Also, you could suggest that she is always available for daytime visits, just no sleepovers.
2007-06-29 05:35:02 · answer #4 · answered by Sylvia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First of all you are not in the wrong, I am not a single mom, but my husband and I were not married when we fell pregnant with our little girl. Has she ever been to a sleepover before? If not (or if they don't know about it) tell your aunt you aren't ready for her to go to one, she isn't old enough. If she has been to one before, tell her you guys already have plans or you just aren't comfortable with it b/c of the age gap. Good luck.
2007-06-29 04:24:05 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think that you should be honest. If that is too hard right now, maybe make up some quick plans so that you don't have to lie to your aunt.
2007-06-29 04:39:32 · answer #6 · answered by Niki 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
No thank you, I like to spend as much time as possible with her myself. But it's very kind of you to ask. Maybe when she is older.
2007-06-29 04:22:37 · answer #7 · answered by Rhonda & Cats 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I agree with Kellie B ... If they know she has been to one say you are busy but it was kind to offer.
If they don't know say that you don't want her to go to sleepovers quite just yet, and again, thanks for keeping her in mind.
2007-06-29 04:28:59 · answer #8 · answered by vikky b 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You just say, "Oh, thank you--but I don't think we're ready for that yet."
Simple as that. No further explanation necessary.
2007-06-29 04:23:33 · answer #9 · answered by Cheesy 4 · 2⤊ 1⤋
You might just say sorry, but little Mary isn't ready for sleep overs yet. But thanks for thinking of her.
2007-06-29 04:24:14 · answer #10 · answered by ♥♥The Queen Has Spoken♥♥ 7 · 2⤊ 1⤋