My biological father walked out on my mother and I when I was 3 years old. He is trying to contact me after all these years. This man has been in and out of prison and I am not sure if I can let him walk back into my life like he didn't hurt me. Anyone who has been in this kind of sitution please give me some advise.
2007-06-29 04:02:26 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Family
I let my father back into my life after 18 years.. Granted, mine hadn't been in and out of prisons, so that may have made it easier for me to say yes.
If you do decide to let him back in, he needs to understand how you feel about it, how his absence affected you, and that it's a trial to begin with. If you find that he's not good for you to be around, feel free to tell him to go away. He needs to understand he's not coming in and playing Daddy, either.
2007-06-29 04:07:41 · answer #1 · answered by *huge sigh* 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I understand how you feel. I have never met my biological father. I am 30 years old. Sometimes it upsets me that this man has never even made the effort to contact me. I think that you should meet him. You need closure. You have a lot of questions that need to be answered. Remember, there are always two sides to every story. I am not condoning his behavior in the last 23 years at all by saying that. But I feel that you should give him a chance to explain things. I don't know if you have children now or if you are planning on having children in the future, but this would also be a good opportunity to ask if there are any health issues on his side of the family that you need to be made aware of. So, meet him and have a conversation. See how that goes. It did take an awful lot for this man to try to get a hold of you. If you still feel the same way about him after talking to him that you did before, I can't blame you. But I think that you will feel better for talking to him. You need closure to help you heal from these wounds that he caused. Good luck with everything. My heart goes out to you. Take care.
2007-06-29 04:22:28 · answer #2 · answered by cmg1977 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you know the actual reason why your father walked out on you and your mother? My father was out of my life for many years. I thought he did not want to have anything to do with me but that wasn't the case. My mother moved out of state and kept me away and never mentioned him until I was much older. I finally established a relationship with my father and I do not regret it one bit. It took me many years before I could feel comfortable being around him and calling him dad. He is a big part of my life now, and my little girl. I understand, this is a big decision for you. Please go with your heart.
2007-06-29 04:43:22 · answer #3 · answered by T T 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
im not sure if you should let him back in your life but i do think you should at least let him say what he needs to say,my dad was in prison for 9 yrs,i was 17 when he got out,we stayed in contact thru the phone for yrs, then he wrote me a letter saying he was dying of lung cancer, so i went to see him and we made peace with each other, shortly after that he passed,life is to short. we may forgive even though we cant forget.take care and good luck
2007-06-29 16:54:04 · answer #4 · answered by tammy g 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
it is often a tricky determination to make. My mom has been making it on and rancid for the previous 20years or so. i think of females could desire to understand that it is not 'sturdy' for a toddler to have a father/male parent of their existence. Your son is 3, by fact he's that this youthful it may no longer likely result him in a adverse way by fact of his loss of awareness. even in spite of the incontrovertible fact that if their bond will become sturdy and unexpectedly the daddy bolts back, your son will understand something isn't precise, sure even at that age they do and maximum do recover from it very immediately. even in spite of the incontrovertible fact which you pass away it till he's even older, he's going to understand him coming and going. you're precise no he would not should confirm him, yet do no longer consistently be reliant on a guy, in case you desperatly want a male parent on your sons existence, choose for the terrific intrest on your toddler. A grandfather, uncle,kinfolk pal etc. on your place, i could say no by fact of journey i had. My 'father' got here and went whilst he extremely joyful. mom replaced right into a door mat and enable him and it did no longer take lengthy for me to understand this and loathe the guy (for different own motives too). it is not approximately what we'd do, its approximately could you're able to do. Mine got here back whilst my brother replaced into 4 very almost 5, now he's 9 and realised something replaced into lacking and he replaced into getting at a loss for words as to why he replaced into there and wasn't. yet now it rather is okay cos there is his uncle and he enjoys spending time with my boyfriend too. Goodluck for you and your toddler. xxx
2016-10-19 04:07:29 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm no expert on it. But you never know what might happen if you don't give him a chance. Maybe you will get some healing and some kind of explanation for why he left. Maybe it will work out, and maybe it won't. But at least by giving him a chance you will KNOW. I say just be careful.
2007-06-29 04:08:26 · answer #6 · answered by gooberseeme 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You have to do what you feel is right in your heart. Just remember life is short. I hope what ever you decide to do makes you happy. Nobody can make that decision except you. Good Luck
2007-06-29 04:07:28 · answer #7 · answered by bluebird 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
NO, as a grandmother how has had to take care of her step-grandchildren because they have been abandoned by uncaring parents.....I would tell him to go screw himself.
2007-06-29 04:11:08 · answer #8 · answered by Grandma of 2 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
you can, but be prepared for disappointment
2007-06-29 04:07:10 · answer #9 · answered by bronzebabekentucky 7 · 0⤊ 1⤋