Should I get a tattoo despite my husband's dislike for it?

Question

I’ve always loved tattoos and I’ve had one when I was seventeen. I’m married now and have a son, and I’d love to have his name tattooed on my back. My husband is not a fan of tattoos and thinks it’s a turn-off and stupid to ink your body permanently. Anyway I’ve been thinking of doing it and asked my husband if he’d accompany me while I’m having it done. He told me “If you want to have another tattoo it’s your business, I mean it’s your body, but I’m not going to waste my time to accompany you to the tattoo parlor”. I felt hurt by his comment and attitude. Am I being too sensitive about this? I mean, should I just accept that his comment is merely his distaste for tattoos? Since it’s going to be our son’s name, I thought it’d be nice to share the moment with him.

Plus, is having the tattoo worth the risk, what if it turns out he really hated that I add another one and felt turned off, and since I knew how he felt about tattoos, maybe in his eyes I was the one who didn’t care about his feelings? Any thoughts would be appreciated. Thanks.

Answer 1

If your husband don't want you too. why would you? Just to piss him off? Its not like that shirt or jeans he hates were you can take it right off. He's going to be reminded of how much he hates it ever time he sees it.

Answer 2

I can tell you that if he's that adament about it, I wouldn't suggest getting it. He may find it rebellious and distasteful. Unfortunately, there are many persons, men and women that absolutely will not be with someone who is inked. Maybe you can get something smaller and use a symbol instead of a name and consider something to indicate him and your son. NEVER PUT ANYONES NAME ON YOU except a child's name or your parent. If he were included in some way, he may see it differently. All of my inks are symbols of a very important part of my life. No names and even though the person may no longer be a part of my life now, I can fondly look back and remember why I got it at the time and know that it was a large part of my life. No questions about "who is Bob?" sort of thing. If another tattoo turns your husband off, and it may, your whole relationship may suffer. I suggest compromise. Look at flashes online and see if you can find something to show him. (ie, a small teddy bear for your son with a big teddy bear holding him, a small vampire with a larger vampire leading the way...I hope you understand where I'm going.) My first tatt was drawn up by my kids father. It is a stemmed crystal wine glass with a shine(a star) coming off the rim. It has a rose, and a heart also. The glass stands for my daughter, Crystal, and the little shining star is for the younger daughter, Starla. The heart for love, the rose for their dad. Anyway, compromise and symbolism are the best suggestions I have. Be creative and try to come up with something that fits your life. Ask a friend to draw something up for you if you're not artistic. If you like butterflies, use them, or skeletons, hummingbirds...whatever. Good Luck in your search for the answer.

Answer 3

I generally don't like tattoos and think that for the most part they are ugly and sometimes what seems cool at the time becomes ridiculous years later. The funny part is that the only tattoo I would ever consider getting is a tattoo of my son's name. He is my only child and I think it would be great to have his name on me (I was thinking my arm maybe). First of all I do think it is silly to insist on him being with you since he has already told you he does not like tattoos and does not want you to get another one. If he doesn't like them then so be it----why force the issue of him "being there"? Second of all he has been honest with you and has given you his opinion that he does not like them and that they are a turn-off. Since he has made this clear to you then I wouldn't do it unless it was of some serious importance to you for some reason. I would certainly go against my husbands opinion if something was very important to me but getting a tattoo does not seem to be some earth shattering thing of importance. This whole thing sounds a bit immature to me and I have no idea how old you people are.

Answer 4

Weigh the outcome. If getting the tattoo knowing how your husband feels about it is far more important to you than respecting his feelings, then by all means forge ahead. I've been (very, very happily) married for 32 years and there are lots of things that we back down on because the other felt strongly about it. If the trust, love and friendship between a husband and wife seems more important that the tattoo then let him know that you have taken his words to heart and have decided against a tattoo.

Answer 5

Well, I have some experience in this area, somewhat. I have tattoos, 4 to be exact, and my husband is not a fan of tattoos, either. I had 3 when we met, and I have added on to the collection since we have been married, and also had one covered up with a considerably bigger design. Now in my situation, I discussed it over with my husband, but I did not feel the need for his "approval". Nor does he need my "approval" for his personal decisions, either. We try to maintain a marriage of respect, especially in areas like this. I did not ask my husband to go with me when I had my first tattoo reworked. I made the decision, so I went by myself. Now with my second tattoo, my spouse was curious, and he said we wanted to go with me. Big change from someone who did not like tattoos at all, to wanting to come with me. I did not push him at all to tag along, I let him make the decision himself.

Answer 6

maybe this point has been brought up already, but he married you with one tattoo, so he already knows (and knew before he commited) that they are something you appreciate. With one tattoo always comes the possibility for more....
isn't who you are more important than the fact that you like tattoos? Its a give and take, but I think he should be supportive of your wishes as well. Hope you guys can talk more about it and see how important or not important it is. Good luck!

Answer 7

there are some people out there with that attitude about tattoos. My dad is one of them.
it was kinda rude the way he said it. but you have to understand his complete distaste for the tattoos in the first place. your assumption might be right on the money

Answer 8

if you want one done then get it done. if he stops loving you becuase of it then he really didnt love you in the first place. my husband likes tattoos, but he doesnt like alot on girls...just a few. I only had 2 when we were dating and now that we are married I have 5 actually. I told him I will do what I want with my body and he can either accept that or I'm sorry becuase he doesnt control me or what I do. he still loves me for me and actaully respects the fact that I am my own person.

Answer 9

I say you should get it if you don't you are just showing him he can tell you what to do with you own body.I understand some people don't like them that's fine.But don't act like a big baby and make someone feel bad about what they want on them. You did not ask him to get it. And if he seen it as a turn off that much he would not have married you and had a child with you. I see it in a different way because i have been with my husband for 8 years.he would never tell me i could not get a tattoo he was with me when i got my 5th one Saturday. And i know he would not tell me i could not get my child's name on me.I just want to know dose he run your life when it comes to everything you do or just this.

Answer 10

I know you want the tattoo But I'm in the same situation my long term love thinks they make a girl look trashy. He was able make his point on how i know you want one but think how many times have you drove me nuts about something you wanted then finally you get it and it's no big deal whatever it is it just sits around the house unattended. With the tattoo you want it but you will always have your son there so why do you want a tattoo of a mane when you have the person there.So I would say no don't do it!

Answer 11

Don't do it. As I'm sure you know marraige is all about love yesbut with marriage comes sacrifice and you did the right thing by talking to your husband but if you get the tattoo when he has very clearly expressed his dislike for the idea that could cause a huge bump in the road ahead. Just sit down and talk with him. Tell him if he really doesn't want you to do it you won't. And you guys justs take it from there. Communication is key. He isn't trying to be mean he just doesn't want you to harm you body with a silly tattoo. I wouldn't risk it if I were you. Good luck and I hope I helped