Kinda tired when you are really nice and you wouldnt hurt the other one for anything in the world,,,, but being this way does have its huge disadvantage in the modern world, esspecially in love, ppl can use u for money,sex,emotional support, and you are there just like a stepping stone for them to carry on with their life without worrying a damn thing about what you think,,,,,,, Well im one of the person,, and im thinking right now that perhaps i should let experiance change me instead of being a nice guy,,,,,sometimes i do think being a player is not a bad thing after all, i mean women do want sex and all and maybe i should just let her work out her emotions instead of me trying to protect her from emotional scar and in the end feel like an idiot because its not appriciated or worse being called an a*s for being nice,,,,, What you think ? have you ever had this kinda experiance before ?
2007-06-29 03:50:02 · 9 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Singles & Dating
Yes, it is hard to keep giving when you are not getting the love and respect you need, as well. That is the time to step back and just stop giving. Take care of yourself and let everyone else take care of themselves. You do't have to be angry or rude about it, you don't even need to say what you are doing or why---let your actions get the point across. No one likes to feel taken for granted or disrespected, but when people are used to you doing something for them all of the time or being a certain way, then over time they come to EXPECT that from you, so it loses its value because they don't have to do anything in return. When you change that, they will have to change their actions too.
2007-06-29 04:05:27 · answer #1 · answered by Merry 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yep. I've been here. Playing is the key word here. I was never any nicer than most other people. I just played like I was. Ask yourself, what is the payoff? What are you getting out of it? The nice guy syndrome has an outward appearance of altruism but is usually selfish at the core. The biggest logical flaw in the nice guy syndrome is that you're not being nice to yourself. Why is it OK to be mean to yourself in order to be nice to someone else? You are just as much of a person as they are.
From one of your statements it sounds like you're playing the role of protector. You don't want your girlfriend to get scarred. You are viewing your girlfriend as being child-like and in need of protection from you, the protector. There may be other reasons as well why you like to play the nice guy.
You are a selfish human being. So is your girlfriend. So is everyone else who walks the planet. That's OK. There's nothing you can do to change that. But there is good news. There are millions(maybe billions) of people on the planet who are capable of loving selfish human beings.
You will find that you do genuinely want to help people some times. This is part of being human. But you will be doing it because you want to help. Not because you want to see yourself as a protector. Do you see the difference?
I don't know if I would become a player. You don't have to swing from butt kisser to big jerk. Player is also another label you put on yourself. It just switching identities. Be yourself. Normal people can express their anger in constructive ways. Just because you're not happy with something someone is doing doesn't mean you're a jerk. It means you're human.
I went to lots of therapy to get over this, as I had deep issues, like low self-esteem underlying this problem.
2007-07-01 11:07:52 · answer #2 · answered by LG 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I know exactly how you feel. In everyone of my relationships, it ended up on a bad note. I did everything I could to the best girlfriend, but it was never enough. So I thought I would treat boys the way they treat girls. I had friends with benefits, using them for their grades,etc. Eventually I realized I was being the person I hated. I still let my exes control me. So I decided to forgive and be a nice girl. If your good to others, one day you'll meet that person you have always waited for. Plus many females like myself look for nice guys like you.
2007-06-29 03:58:25 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
nicely David, you sound such as you are the undesirable Boy as a effect - you're able to desire to be kidding, yet for the sake of answering you it somewhat is it - "undesirable Boys" seek for any lady that's interested in them; they fill her head with destiny each little thing, then while a newborn comes alongside (because of the fact the undesirable Boy is to Dxxm inexpensive to purchase a field of condoms) they "knock up" the female then wash their palms of her and the youngster to the subsequent sufferer. a guy/guy/despite isn't respectful if he's complaining approximately "sloppy seconds", in case you have an argument with a girl that has a newborn, do exactly not connect with her. And, you mustn't connect with a girl in case your only intentions is to get your rocks off, it not honest to her or her harmless newborn(ren). look up "Respectful" and learn a notice and a concept or 2.
2016-10-03 07:16:05 · answer #4 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I've definitely had this experience. I still consider myself nice, but I'm much more guarded and decided not to care. I'm going to just take life as if comes. I'm not going to commit myself to one person...cause the last TWO times I did that...the guys completely disregarded my feelings and I got hurt...badly. So...I've decided I'm going to be a player for the summer and do whatever I want!!
2007-06-29 04:12:02 · answer #5 · answered by geminiqtpie22 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah I have been sick of being the nice girl. I tend to be a pushover and let me tell you it gets me nowhere...
2007-06-29 03:54:17 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound fine just the way you are and youll find a woman that will appreciate you
2007-06-29 03:55:30 · answer #7 · answered by Loved 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
yeah it is tiring sometimes
2007-06-29 03:56:25 · answer #8 · answered by joddie 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no
2007-06-29 03:57:52 · answer #9 · answered by F 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋