what is the best blonde joke(s) you've ever heard?

Question

here's mine

The blonde and the deodorant

The blonde walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for some bottom deodorant. The pharmacist, a little bemused, explains to the woman that they don''t sell anything called bottom deodorant, and never have. Unfazed, the blonde assures him that she has been buying the stuff from this store on a regular basis, and would like some more. "I''m sorry," says the pharmacist, "we don''t have any."
"But I always get it here," says the blonde.

"Do you have the container it comes in?"

"Yes!" says the blonde, "I will go and get it."

She returns with the container and hands it to the pharmacist, who looks at it and says to her, "This is just a normal stick of underarm deodorant."

The annoyed blonde snatches the container back and reads out loud from the container: "To apply, push up bottom."

Answer 1

Q. How do you know when a blonde's had a bad day?

A. There's a tampon behind her ear and she doesn't know where her pencil is...

Answer 2

Handy-man

A blonde, wanting to earn some money, decided to hire herself out as a handyman-type and started canvassing a wealthy neighborhood. She went to the front door of the first house and asked the owner if he had any jobs for her to do.
"Well, you can paint my porch. How much will you charge?"
The blonde said, "How about 50 dollars?" The man agreed and told her that the paint and ladders that she might need were in the garage. The man's wife, inside the house, heard the conversation and said to her husband, "Does she realize that the porch goes all the way around the house?"
The man replied, "She should. She was standing on the porch."
A short time later, the blonde came to the door to collect her money.
"You're finished already?" he asked. "Yes," the blonde answered, "and I had paint left over, so I gave it two coats. "Impressed, the man reached in his pocket for the $50. "And by the way," the blonde added, "that's not a Porch, it's a Ferrari."

Answer 3

A blond sick of the dumb blond jokes dies her hair and goes on a road trip. As she's driving along she has to stop because of a herd of sheep in the road. So she get's out of her car and goes up to the shepherd and says, "hey, if I can guese how many sheep you have can I keep one?" and the shepherd thinks about this for a second then he says sure why not. So of the top of her head she just gueses 378. and the shepherd says wow! that's amazing! well I'm a man of my word, you can pick out your sheep. She goes and finds the cutest, most playfull, one out of all of them and as she's putting it in her car, the shepherd says, "If I can guese the natural color of your hair, can I have my sheep dog back?"
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A blond walks into a pawn shop and asks the shopkeep, "hey how much for the TV?" and he says, "Sorry no dumb blonds" so she goes home and dies her hair brown and returns the next day. again she asks, "how much for the TV?" and the shop keep says, "sorry no dumb blonds" so she goes home and dies her hair red and returns again, "How much for the TV?" once more he replies no dumb blonds. So she is annoyed now and says, "I've come in here the last couple days and each time I've had a different hair color, so why won't you sell me that TV!?"
he replies
because it's a microwave

Answer 4

Every day two blonde women would come out of work together and look for their car. But all the cars in the lot looked the same, so they sat around until all the cars were gone and then they would get in the last car and go home. One blonde said to the other, ''We need to find a faster way to get home.'' So the next day they went to work on a camel. After work they came out and the parking lot was full of camels. So the first blonde went around lifting up the tails of all the camels. The second blonde said, ''What are you doing?'' The first blonde said, ''When we came in today I heard someone yell "'Look at those two assholes on that camel!!'"



There were two blondes as roommates and they both bought mice. When they got home the first blonde said, "How are we going to tell them apart?"
The second blonde said, "Why don't we take one and chop off one of its legs?"

But during the night the mouse with four legs said to the mouse with three legs, ''That's not fair -- I want three legs too.'' So the mouse with three legs told him to eat one of his legs. And so he did.

The next morning the blondes were upset about this so they did the same thing as the day before. But again the mouse with three legs ate one of his legs. This went on until both mice had no tails and legs. Then one of the blondes shouted, ''All right, that's it! You take the black one and I'll take the white one!''

Answer 5

well here r some--
A Blonde who got a fishing rod for her birthday and decided to go ice fishing. So early the next morning she got all her gear and headed out. When she reached her destination she cut a hole in the ice and dipped the rod in. Then suddenly she heard a voice that said:"there's no fish in there". So she moves to another spot and cuts another hole, then the same voice spoke again and told her there were no fish there. So she moves again and the voice tells her there are no fish there. So she looks up and see's a man looking down at her. "How do you know there are no fish there?" So the man cooly says "Well first of all this is a hockey rink and you're going to have to pay for those holes.
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Inventions by blondes--
The water-proof towel

Glow in the dark sunglasses

Solar powered flashlight

Submarine screen door

A book on how to read

Inflatable dart board

A dictionary index

Powdered water

Pedal powered wheel chair

Water proof tea bags

Zero proof alcohol

Reusable ice cubes

Skinless bananas

Do it yourself roadmap!!

Tell me... do u find it funny??:)

Answer 6

A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blonde female neighbour came out of the house and went to the mailbox.
She opened it then slammed it shut & stormed back in the house. A little later she came out of her house again went to the mail box and again, opened it, slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and slimmed it closed harder than ever.
Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?"
To which she replied, "There certainly is!"
My stupid computer keeps saying, "YOU'VE GOT MAIL."

Answer 7

A blonde is walking down the high street with her brunette friend when the brunette spots her boyfriend in the florists buying red roses.

"Oh no," says the brunette, "he's buying me flowers again."
"What's wrong with that?" Says the blonde, "don't you like flowers?"

The brunette answers "Yes, I love flowers, but he'll expect me to be on my back with my legs in the air continuously for the next week now!"

The blonde replies..."haven't you got a vase?"

Answer 8

A blonde had car trouble on the freeway. She pulled over, opened the trunk and took out two life-sized, cardboard cutouts, which she propped up against the back of her car. The cutouts were of two men, naked beneath opened trench coats.
Soon, traffic was in a turmoil, and before long, a highway patrol pulled up behind her. He confronted the blonde and asked "What is the meaning of this?" She smiled and answered, "My car broke down." "But what are those obscene cutouts doing behind your car?" demanded the officer.

"Hellooooooo. Those are my emergency flashers."

Answer 9

I think the best blonde joke I ever heard was...

A blonde, a brunette, and a red-head were capture as prisoners of war. They were to be executed with guns by a group of men who worshipped the weather.
The brunette called "TORNADO!" and every one ran, the brunette escaped.
The red-head called "LIGHTNING!" and every scattered, the red-head escaped.
The blonde, realizing what was going on, called "FIRE!" The blonde didn't escape...

I may have told it somewhat wrong but it was a really good joke!

Answer 10

Q)A blonde,and a burnette fall off of a building. Who hits the ground first??

A) The Burnette, the blonde had to stop for directions

Answer 11

A man hangs from the ceiling in his office and says to his work pal (a blonde) "im pretending to be a lightbulb so that the boss thinks im crazy and sends me home on sick leave." After the boss comes into the office and sees him he asks him to go home straight away until he feels better. The blonde starts to follow him out and when her boss asks where she is going she says "im going home too, i cant work in the dark." Dumb or very very clever, you decide!